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George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





My favorite recipe was stolen from a goon here.



"
If you want real cranberry sauce that is out of this loving world:


* 1 12-ounce bag cranberries

* 2/3 cup sugar

* 1 cup fresh orange juice

* 1 teaspoon grated orange peel (or orange zest)

* 1 medium seedless orange, all peel and pith cut away, fruit diced

* 3/4 cup walnuts, toasted, cut into 1/2-inch pieces


Combine first 4 ingredients in medium saucepan; bring to boil over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. Cook until cranberries are tender and mixture thickens, stirring occasionally, about 12 minutes. Remove from heat. Mix in orange pieces and walnuts. Transfer to bowl. Cover and chill until cold, at least 2 hours and up to 3 days.


You can also just mash it all together without cooking and let the fruit macerate if you prefer that, you can add a little cinnamon or ginger or cloves or all three... really, its simple as hell and I've had people eating it out of the bowl like it was freaking ice cream. SO GOOD. The canned stuff isn't even in the same universe.
"

Never again should anyone eat canned garbage

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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
Ghosting my families thanksgiving dinner after eating a small amount of terrible thanksgiving food (dry turkey and lovely sides like cheesy onions and stuffing) and going to the bar then to the 24/7 taco shop near my house.

Thats the best recipe OP.

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum
I love Thanksgiving food threads. It's when the rest of the world gets to sit around sniggering at green bean "casserole" and jello "salad".

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





Chinatown posted:

Ghosting my families thanksgiving dinner after eating a small amount of terrible thanksgiving food (dry turkey and lovely sides like cheesy onions and stuffing) and going to the bar then to the 24/7 taco shop near my house.

Thats the best recipe OP.

Now that's baller

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Tuned into Local Radio Station this morning. Immediately heard some caller they had on the phone go "We're not having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We're calling it 'bacon giving' because everything I'm making has bacon in it."

gOd bless... America...

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
My secret recipe:

  • Bourbon
  • Ice

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
No pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg, OP?

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
well my family has this secret recipe.... but i guess i can 'dish' up some secrets here (as it were)
let's just say it involves a two cans of string beans, a can of cream of mushroom soup, and some little onion-ring type fried things

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


Bob James posted:

My secret recipe:

  • Bourbon
  • Ice
Then comes the zenith of man’s pleasure. Then comes the julep – the mint julep. Who has not tasted one has lived in vain. The honey of Hymettus brought no such solace to the soul; the nectar of the Gods is tame beside it. It is the very dream of drinks, the vision of sweet quaffings.

The Bourbon and the mint are lovers. In the same land they live, on the same food they are fostered. The mint dips infant leaf into the same stream that makes The Bourbon what it is. The corn grows in the level lands through which small streams meander. By the brook-side the mint grows. As the little wavelets pass, they glide up to kiss the feet of the growing mint, and the mint bends to salute them. Gracious and kind it is, living only for the sake of others. Like a woman’s heart it gives its sweetest aroma when bruised. Among the first to greet the spring, it comes. Beside gurgling brooks that make music in the fields, it lives and thrives. When the bluegrass begins to shoot its gentle sprays towards the sun, mint comes, and its sweetest soul drinks at the crystal brook. It is virgin then. But soon it must be married to old Bourbon. His great heart, his warmth of temperament, and that affinity which no one understands, demands the wedding.

How shall it be? Take from the cold spring some water, pure as angels are; mix it with sugar till it seems like oil. Then take a glass and crush your mint within it with a spoon – crush it around the borders of the glass and leave no place untouched. Then throw the mint away – it is the sacrifice. Fill with cracked ice the glass; pour in the quantity of Bourbon which you want. It trickles slowly through the ice. Let it have time to cool, then pour your sugared water over it. No spoon is needed; no stirring allowed- just let it stand a moment. Then around the brim place sprigs of mint, so that the one who drinks may find the taste and odor at one draft.

Then when it is made, sip it slowly. August suns are shining, the breath of the south wind is upon you. It is fragrant cold and sweet – it is seductive. No maidens kiss is tenderer or more refreshing, no maidens touch could be more passionate. Sip it and dream-it is a dream itself. No other land can give you so much sweet solace for your cares; no other liquor soothes you in melancholy days. Sip it and say there is no solace for the soul, no tonic for the body like old Bourbon whiskey.

Humboldt Squid
Jan 21, 2006

Mini wheel of brie with apricot preserves on top, then wrapped in puff pastry and baked.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost


*that scene in barton fink where the author is puking in the bathroom*

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
i call it "my poo poo" and i make my family eat every last dollop

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
My family goes to the asian seafood buffet every thanksgiving

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
protip: baste your turkey in antifreeze to keep it from overheating

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

dad gay. so what posted:

protip: baste your turkey in antifreeze to keep it from overheating

what about the winter formulation windshield wiper fluid

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
Tip: Abandon your family. Eat thanksgiving dinner in the peace and quiet of a restaurant booth.

Admiral_eX_laX
Jul 8, 2009

Historically Inaccurate

Bob James posted:

My secret recipe:

  • Bourbon
  • Ice

I have a similar recipe but i throw some xanax in there too...

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
dump it on the floor and eat it like a animal you piece of poo poo

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Step 1: Go to Denny's...alone.
Step 2: Order the "Holiday Harvest Skillet" and a diet coke.
Step 3: Add nips of bourbon to diet coke from flask while waiting for order to come.
Step 4: Eat meal sullenly, staring out of the large windows into the frozen industrial lots and big box buildings outside.
Step 5: Pay for meal but don't tip ('cuz I don't support TIPPING CULTURE! People shouldn't have to work for tips!)
Step 6: Once home follow recipe outlined by Bob James.

Missing Name
Jan 5, 2013


1.) A roast turkey, deboned and cut into pieces.
2.) 1 lb mashed potatoes
3.) 1 cup green beans.
4.) 1 12" puckin pie
5.) 1 cup gravy
6.) 2 cup hot water

put it all in a blender, puree. pour into loaf pan. bake at 400 degrees in middle rack. serve with cranberry sauce

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

im pooping! posted:

Then comes the zenith of man’s pleasure. Then comes the julep – the mint julep. Who has not tasted one has lived in vain. The honey of Hymettus brought no such solace to the soul; the nectar of the Gods is tame beside it. It is the very dream of drinks, the vision of sweet quaffings.

The Bourbon and the mint are lovers. In the same land they live, on the same food they are fostered. The mint dips infant leaf into the same stream that makes The Bourbon what it is. The corn grows in the level lands through which small streams meander. By the brook-side the mint grows. As the little wavelets pass, they glide up to kiss the feet of the growing mint, and the mint bends to salute them. Gracious and kind it is, living only for the sake of others. Like a woman’s heart it gives its sweetest aroma when bruised. Among the first to greet the spring, it comes. Beside gurgling brooks that make music in the fields, it lives and thrives. When the bluegrass begins to shoot its gentle sprays towards the sun, mint comes, and its sweetest soul drinks at the crystal brook. It is virgin then. But soon it must be married to old Bourbon. His great heart, his warmth of temperament, and that affinity which no one understands, demands the wedding.

How shall it be? Take from the cold spring some water, pure as angels are; mix it with sugar till it seems like oil. Then take a glass and crush your mint within it with a spoon – crush it around the borders of the glass and leave no place untouched. Then throw the mint away – it is the sacrifice. Fill with cracked ice the glass; pour in the quantity of Bourbon which you want. It trickles slowly through the ice. Let it have time to cool, then pour your sugared water over it. No spoon is needed; no stirring allowed- just let it stand a moment. Then around the brim place sprigs of mint, so that the one who drinks may find the taste and odor at one draft.

Then when it is made, sip it slowly. August suns are shining, the breath of the south wind is upon you. It is fragrant cold and sweet – it is seductive. No maidens kiss is tenderer or more refreshing, no maidens touch could be more passionate. Sip it and dream-it is a dream itself. No other land can give you so much sweet solace for your cares; no other liquor soothes you in melancholy days. Sip it and say there is no solace for the soul, no tonic for the body like old Bourbon whiskey.

k

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
take one part anger and resentment and one part alcohol; combine; heat over a bain-marie; kill your loving family

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Homo Simpson
Oct 21, 2014

by Smythe
Lipstick Apathy
* find someone who knows how to cook

* wait until they make food

* eat it

I found this sick recipe a few years ago!

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