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This year I learned that it isn't just gluten free ingredients that will spoil the dish, but cooking utensils, pots, pans, etc that have come into contact with gluten in the past. So far I've hosed up: the turkey, by using the wrong butter, and the green beans, by using a strainer that (though cleaned) had been previously used for pasta. And the fried onions, by using a cast iron skillet that had also been previously used for pancakes etc. My theory is that my lady only invited her gluten free friends so that she could point out my failures, though more likely she is less happy to poison her friends than I am. apparently the rule with gluten free cooking is that nothing, loving ever, is enough -- while at the same time all minor failures don't really matter. these loving dumbs
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:19 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:34 |
Try just not telling them and see if anyone notices.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:22 |
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Haha. Tell them to go to hell
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:22 |
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Just lie and say you did everything right, it's not like they are keeping kosher or anything.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:24 |
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Almost nobody has a real sensitivity to gluten, so don't worry about it op
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:25 |
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when did gluten start being treif can we still eat challah???????
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:26 |
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next year i will demand a doctor's note before agreeing to even consider anything, and may ask for a second opinion, and only then tell them to bring a pizza or some nuts or something
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:28 |
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Glutensgiving!
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:29 |
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It happened to me: I was gluten shamed at the liquor store
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:30 |
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no one really has a gluten allergy, they just make it up for attention
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:41 |
get a gluten air freshener so it permeates everything in your house
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:44 |
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Rutibex posted:no one really has a gluten allergy, they just make it up for attention this but unironically
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 22:56 |
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Your family sounds pretty dumb, assuming they don't all have celiac disease. Oh well, more gluten for me.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:00 |
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Didn't the guy who did the original gluten allergy study do another study that showed it's a bunch of horse poo poo? edit: Print this out and serve it to these attention whore babies with dinner. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/unless-you-have-celiac-disease-gluten-sensitivity-is-probably-just-in-your-head/ 4outof5 fucked around with this message at 23:06 on Nov 26, 2015 |
# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:03 |
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Tell them to leave.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:08 |
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4outof5 posted:Didn't the guy who did the original gluten allergy study do another study that showed it's a bunch of horse poo poo? the new poo poo is to claim that you have celiac disease, thus making your position unassailable
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:22 |
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Give them some gluten free weed
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:23 |
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Give Pat a Job posted:Give them some gluten free weed has this pipe touched the lips of a bread eater? sorry can't smoke it, might as well throw the weed in the bowl out too. do you have an apple?
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:29 |
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I heard that eating gluten makes your dick fly off.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:32 |
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Mein Eyes! posted:the new poo poo is to claim that you have celiac disease, thus making your position unassailable It would be amazing to find a cluster of people with celiac disease living that closely together and almost statistically impossible that they all know each other.
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:32 |
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4outof5 posted:It would be amazing to find a cluster of people with celiac disease living that closely together and almost statistically impossible that they all know each other. There's a genetic component, so it can run in families. And yeah, if you're cooking for a celiac sufferer, start over with a new, clean wheat/oat free kitchen. Nothing less will keep the person's gut lining from attacking itself, cross contamination is real. AT THE SAME TIME, anyone who has Celiac's and shows up at your house expecting that you'll know all of this and cook them an entire Gluten Free Thanksgiving dinner is an rear end in a top hat. People with legit Celiac's are used to bringing their own food or just asking that one item be GF, because when the consequence for eating a crumb of bread is hours of gut-wrenching agony later, you don't risk it. You make your own, you eat first, or you limit your diet to things that couldn't possibly contain gluten - you don't depend on some random Joe Someone to not accidentally leave a few bread crumbs or flour in the food at their house when they cook. Only trendy "I'm Gluten Free Now!" douches would risk that in the first place. Aquarium Gravel fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Nov 26, 2015 |
# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:44 |
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Aquarium Gravel posted:There's a genetic component, so it can run in families. Our two celiacs (orsotheyclaim) aren't related, but I agree - if there's a risk of hurting someone by trying to make gluten free food in our normally-gluten-cooking kitchen, then I feel like we shouldn't be even trying. Vegetarian and vegan I can do no problem, as that's just a matter of picking ingredients and recipes without any health-related risks of contamination. But to invite people who can't eat gluten, insist that we'll make our meals gluten free, sacrifice recipes or add extra complexity, and then almost inevitably gently caress it up seems extra retarded. vent vent vent
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# ? Nov 26, 2015 23:53 |
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Mein Eyes! posted:Our two celiacs (orsotheyclaim) aren't related, but I agree - if there's a risk of hurting someone by trying to make gluten free food in our normally-gluten-cooking kitchen, then I feel like we shouldn't be even trying. Vegetarian and vegan I can do no problem, as that's just a matter of picking ingredients and recipes without any health-related risks of contamination. But to invite people who can't eat gluten, insist that we'll make our meals gluten free, sacrifice recipes or add extra complexity, and then almost inevitably gently caress it up seems extra retarded. vent vent vent You're not wrong. Most people's kitchens, during the course of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner, run too high of a risk of contamination. Sorry about your dumb guests and the lady who invited them, feel free to tell them that a random guy on the internet who cooks for his celiac-diagnosed wife, says they're morons to pull this stunt over Thanksgiving, with someone else's food and kitchen. Eating less carbs is fine, faking an auto-immune condition to gently caress up someone else's holiday dinner is an rear end in a top hat stunt.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 00:05 |
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I feel like the weak should be left to die off so that our genetic pool becomes stronger and we can go forth into space for the great cleansing of lesser species.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 00:13 |
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Why are you trying to appease retards?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 00:29 |
it's not kosher, that's not even how gluten works jfc op you're fine
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 00:51 |
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easy you dumb fucker -turkey or ham -apple sauce -mashed potatoes -brussel sprouts -root veggies -cranberries -pumpkin pie in ramekins instead of pie crust -wine -ciders about the only thing you can have is gravy so just load up the mashers with tons of butter and garlic instead you idiot your friends sound like loving morons how about you get in a van and drive off a bridge with them inside and also you
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:11 |
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Mein Eyes! posted:
I have celiac disease and can confirm that it is one of the rules. another rule is that cross-contamination is serious and I'm thankful that you didn't cook me dinner.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:21 |
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Just.... Just kill yourself. It's easier then all this horseshit.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:23 |
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Lemon posted:Try just not telling them and see if anyone notices.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:25 |
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VendaGoat posted:Just.... Just kill yourself.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:26 |
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The gluten is fine now unless you got flour that is over 8 or 9 years old with the gentically modified gluten protein that causes an allergic reaction in a small percentage of the population. Even if you consume the tainted flour and are unlucky enough to have an allergy to the gmo flour, it probably won't be severe and you can just pop a Benedryl before your throat closes up and your eyes swell shut, but you would likely need to eat an entire 10lb bag of flour as nobody has actually died from the modified gluten.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:41 |
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Put laxatives in their food. That'll really give them the shits
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:44 |
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Macnult posted:I have celiac disease and can confirm that it is one of the rules. another rule is that cross-contamination is serious and I'm thankful that you didn't cook me dinner. after 10,000 years of humans cultivating grains to survive how does this gene still exist?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:45 |
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It wouldn't even be a legit disease if people hadn't genetically modified the majority of subsidized seed banks.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:47 |
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loving white people problems. kill them all
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 01:53 |
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Mein Eyes! posted:the new poo poo is to claim that you have celiac disease, thus making your position unassailable Don't tell them and give them gluten anyway. If they fine you can call them liars and if they aren't they will poo poo their brains out and you can feel superior that way. My aunt has celiac and just straight up skips thanksgiving and brings her own food because its so much of a pain. gently caress those ladies for springing that on you last minute, thats terrible. axeil fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Nov 27, 2015 |
# ? Nov 27, 2015 02:09 |
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Rutibex posted:after 10,000 years of humans cultivating grains to survive how does this gene still exist? idk but it sucks and I hate it.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 02:17 |
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i lived in a lactose-free environment for 3 months and when i came back to the real world regular milk only made me really gassy for about 2 weeks (best 2 weeks of my life) then my body adjusted gluten intolerance is the same gently caress these idiots that do it to themselves and then blame the thing theyre avoiding and they pretend its a medical problem like oh poor youre practically handicapped (not talking about the celiac people)
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 02:18 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:34 |
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i have a poo poo post intolerance and im getting an allergic reaction to this thread
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 02:21 |