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Introduce the English longbow to the Romans.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:25
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 11:44 |
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'English longbow' is what I call my cock.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:26
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If I could go back in time and give jesus thousands of copies of The Mormon Bible and also travel with him to north america to take pictures and selfies while he evaneglizes to the jewish native american lost tribes of israel i could come back to modern times and ensure an eternal mormon dominion over earth
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Nov 27, 2015 16:28
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I would crucify Christians, because that is just what they did back then. No hard feelings.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:33
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satanic splash-back posted:I would crucify Christians, because that is just what they did back then. No hard feelings. im having some hard feeelings, for buggering your rear end in a top hat ancient rome style 
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Nov 27, 2015 16:38
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Rutibex posted:its a hell of a lot closer than earth/fire/air/water we know enough, we know that if we split them stuff blows up 
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Nov 27, 2015 16:42
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it's not like we understand how atoms work exactly either
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1 AD? What an awful time to try this thought experiment. You're talking about going back to a time where the elites engaged in public debate regularly and were master rhetoricians. You might be able to convince the plebs in the country but if the rhetors in Athens and Rome were the best bullshitters in history. A guy named Gorgias could literally talk convincingly about any subject, no matter how little he knew about it. Even with modern proofs and whatnot, the average rhetor would destroy just about any of us in the public arena and explain away whatever we brought. It's not about truth/accuracy, it's about convincing people you're right and that would be nigh impossible around that time (unless you're well-versed in rhetoric yourself).
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Nov 27, 2015 16:45
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FooF posted:1 AD? What an awful time to try this thought experiment. wow look at this gay idiot lol what a knob
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Nov 27, 2015 16:47
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FooF posted:1 AD? What an awful time to try this thought experiment. i was gonna make this post but just say everything was about to get hosed up big time with barbarians and plague and poo poo
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Nov 27, 2015 16:48
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On the other hand I have just used my flamethrower to incinerate someone in a public display and claimed myself the god of fire, and i have ordered the horrified mob who has witnessed this to kill every senator in rome and to send messengers to the provinces instructing the plebs to arrest and kill every governor and every landed male, and they do it because what are they gonna do to a madman with napalm and a flame thrower
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Nov 27, 2015 16:50
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hemophilia posted:On the other hand I have just used my flamethrower to incinerate someone in a public display and claimed myself the god of fire, and i have ordered the horrified mob who has witnessed this to kill every senator in rome and to send messengers to the provinces instructing the plebs to arrest and kill every governor and every landed male, and they do it because what are they gonna do to a madman with napalm and a flame thrower cool you've caused an anarchy state and every would be hero around to pick up his pilums and try to jack you at range from behind
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Nov 27, 2015 16:52
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Maybe I'd convince a rhetoricians in private why arabic numbers are good, and he could do the rest of the work.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:54
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Moridin920 posted:cool you've caused an anarchy state and every would be hero around to pick up his pilums and try to jack you at range from behind im not gonna try to take control, the anarchy is thegoal. the god of fire is not a god of order
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Nov 27, 2015 16:54
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I would introduce the concept of eating pussy to the ancient greeks so they wouldn't have to be gay. E: I guess by 1AD the greeks are done. I guess I'd help the romans with their sex problems.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:54
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Applewhite posted:I would introduce the concept of eating pussy to the ancient greeks so they wouldn't have to be gay. Maybe introduce pussy hygiene first
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Nov 27, 2015 16:56
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hemophilia posted:Maybe introduce pussy hygiene first yeah very good point.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:57
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I would enter the colosseum and totally destroy and dismember all the malnourished diseased weakass syphillus gladiators and become a living god
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Nov 27, 2015 16:58
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SmokaDustbowl posted:I would enter the colosseum and totally destroy and dismember all the malnourished diseased weakass syphillus gladiators and become a living god RIP
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Nov 27, 2015 17:00
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hemophilia posted:On the other hand I have just used my flamethrower to incinerate someone in a public display and claimed myself the god of fire, and i have ordered the horrified mob who has witnessed this to kill every senator in rome and to send messengers to the provinces instructing the plebs to arrest and kill every governor and every landed male, and they do it because what are they gonna do to a madman with napalm and a flame thrower romans already had flame throwers, you wouldn't impress anyone
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Nov 27, 2015 17:01
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Rutibex posted:romans already had flame throwers, you wouldn't impress anyone you haven't seen my outfit 
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Nov 27, 2015 17:02
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FooF posted:A guy named Gorgias could literally talk convincingly about any subject, no matter how little he knew about it. Bonus points if he was actually handsome.
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Nov 27, 2015 17:04
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as if I'm scared of of some skinny slave with some pussyass net
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Nov 27, 2015 17:09
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FooF posted:1 AD? What an awful time to try this thought experiment. OTOH all you have to do is convince one of these fuckers in private that it's in their best interest to work with you, and now you've got a convincing spokesperson and crazy science that looks like magic/will of the gods. poo poo, show one of these fuckers something like a mechanical scythe or some other agricultural development and they'll loving line up to work with you.
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Nov 27, 2015 17:10
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destroy all the gladiators with an aluminum baseball bat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DXb1z25hnI
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Nov 27, 2015 17:12
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SmokaDustbowl posted:I would enter the colosseum and totally destroy and dismember all the malnourished diseased weakass syphillus gladiators and become a living god syphilis is from the americas. enjoy being dismembered
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Nov 27, 2015 17:44
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The decimal system, germ theory and vaccination, basic chemistry, crop rotation, gunpowder, steel making would be accessible things to them. 1AD Rome? Get an audience with Maecenas.
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Nov 27, 2015 17:57
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1AD North America, convince closest civilization to domesticate turkeys, so when Old Worlders show up they are wiped out by Turkey Pox. Entire planet is depopulated.
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Nov 27, 2015 18:01
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Rutibex posted:its a hell of a lot closer than earth/fire/air/water We have a pretty good nuclear model. That guy's atomic theory is closer to the elements idea than it is to modern science. All he says is that at some point you can't cut stuff in half anymore. It's like congratulating a kid for pointing out some symbolic imagery in a movie and they say "I thought it was interesting when..." Thanks kid you really had some insight there.
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Nov 27, 2015 18:14
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"Stay safe poverty ghost"
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Nov 27, 2015 18:16
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I only know how to Google things so I'd just set them back by some imperceptable amount as they're forced to deal with yet another anonymous corpse.
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Nov 27, 2015 18:33
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SHISHKABOB posted:We have a pretty good nuclear model. That guy's atomic theory is closer to the elements idea than it is to modern science. All he says is that at some point you can't cut stuff in half anymore. Every goon posting like this needs a good rear end kicking
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Nov 27, 2015 18:36
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Every goon needs a good rear end kicking FTFY
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Nov 27, 2015 18:39
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It's great how a bunch of neckbeards are fantasizing about amazing everyone with an iPod or dominating the Roman Empire because you have a gun like you think you are gonna be some kind of walking God-King just because you can carry some stupid big weapon You could walk into Ancient Rome with a full frikken armory and you'd still be killed in under a minute by anyone with an arrow, spear or knife because you are a loving goon Having modern technology doesn't mean poo poo other than you are weaker without it, you're talking about a bunch of people who struggled with no modern technology living in a world full of barbarians and ultraviolence who were able to conquer much of Europe and establish the largest and most complex empire ever seen and build colleseums and marble statues and poo poo with just a bunch of twigs and rocks and unclean water Your average goon can barely feed himself properly, kill a spider, or have sex and that's with the entire wealth of all human knowledge at his finger tips And yall think you could become some sort of emperor as if the ancient Romans give a poo poo about your Thomas the tank engine collectibles
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Nov 27, 2015 18:45
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Yeah just ignore the fact rome pretty much managed all that by storming a bunch of technologically inferior petty kingdoms and tribally controlled territory or just waving a sword at some of the older, more advanced parts of the world that still didn't want to bother fighting the terrifying roman army bringing innovations such as forcing a bunch of slaves to build roads everywhere and military logistics.
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Nov 27, 2015 18:50
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I'd teach the Romans that pro-wrestling is fake as gently caress by learning Augustus how to do a proper Super-plex
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Nov 27, 2015 18:51
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Lmbo eurocentric.jpg
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Nov 27, 2015 18:53
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SHISHKABOB posted:We have a pretty good nuclear model. That guy's atomic theory is closer to the elements idea than it is to modern science. All he says is that at some point you can't cut stuff in half anymore. its a conceptual framework, they didnt just figure out atoms they figured out that most of matter is void, which is pretty important too. the idea that the shape of atoms is what gives them their characteristics is mostly correct as well. they called it "hooks" instead of "electro magnetism" but the concept is sound the greeks problem was that they didn't like experiments. they considered empiricism to be a more degenerate knowledge than what you could get just by thinking. if they did some experiments with their ancient atomic model in mind i feel confident they would have figured out the missing details pretty easily (like atomic elements)
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Nov 27, 2015 18:56
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I'd introduce the nobility to heroin.
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Nov 27, 2015 18:58
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Commie NedFlanders posted:It's great how a bunch of neckbeards are fantasizing about amazing everyone with an iPod or dominating the Roman Empire because you have a gun like you think you are gonna be some kind of walking God-King just because you can carry some stupid big weapon everyone in old times are weak and malnourished and infected with parasites and half drunk all the time it'd be easy to steamroll them
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Nov 27, 2015 18:59
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 11:44 |
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I was sent back but ended up inside of the ground killing me instantly.
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Nov 27, 2015 19:05
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