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Okay long story short I'm living at home waaaay past the age at which I should still be living at home (though I do come from a cultural background where living at your home till your start your own family is the norm.) I'm 30, my younger brother is 23, and he has no sense of responsibility. He's an alcoholic who frequently comes home drunk (this will happen once every two weeks) and when he comes home -- usually very late in the night -- he will insist on getting attention and starting incoherent arguments with the other family members (my mother and sister, who is 28.) The problem here is that I know what he needs: A kick in the rear end. We have gotten into several physical confrontations before that he provoked, and every time my sister and mother guilt trip me that I "almost killed him" (this when merely trying to shove him out of my room, and a couple of other times where he was very aggressive and I didn't just stand there and take his physical attacks but instead fought back.) His faults are: --Complete lack of responsibility and no direction in life. He couldn't hold a job at Trader Joe's for a month and now he's unemployed again. --Endless harassment of family members when he's drunk. He won't let us go to sleep and he'll just come into my room anytime he feels like it. Several times in the past 1.5 years I've made the determination to completely shut him out from my life, not befriend him, not allow him to use my stuff, not give him rides etc as long as he keeps acting like he does, but once I come to this decision and start sticking to it my sister ends up talking me out of it. You see, my sister and mother baby him like crazy. I told them several times that what he needs is to have to earn a living for himself and his lack of expending energy to earn his keep is what allows him to have so much energy to be such a douchebag. He doesn't pay rent, doesn't pay for groceries and so on. All that of that is mostly providing context as to the type of person he is... The question is, the next time he's being a drunken douche and harassing me and everyone in the house, would I be entitled to call the cops on him? My mother says that is beyond the pale and you never call the cops on a family member but screw that. I'm especially incensed right now because he took my car (which I had recently purchased) without permission, most likely to go party/drink. Two years ago he totaled my mother's car while likely under the influence (he didn't get caught for it but my mother had to get another car.)
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:39 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 02:40 |
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no don't be a nark
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:40 |
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What does sean price think?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:41 |
Snitches get stitches.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:41 |
no, don't call the cops on your brother, try sticking to your plan without pussing out as soon as the going gets tough, christ, do you always go running to authorities to fix problems because you're unable to stick to your guns?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:42 |
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you should chop his head off
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:42 |
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Are you seriously asking whether you should call the cops on your own brother who sounds like he's the only one having fun in your lovely stupid family? Everything about you sucks. You should call the cops on yourself for living at home at 30 years old and being such a whiny loving baby.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:42 |
starry skies above posted:Several times in the past 1.5 years I've made the determination to completely shut him out from my life, not befriend him, not allow him to use my stuff, not give him rides etc as long as he keeps acting like he does, but once I come to this decision and start sticking to it my sister ends up talking me out of it. well you see I WOULD do something about this problem, but get this, other people talk me out of it! well, there's nothing to do here, someone else talked me out of it! Better involve the people with guns.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:43 |
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starry skies above posted:Okay long story short let him do his thing
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:45 |
Have you tried moving out on your own instead of living with your insane family?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:45 |
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before I even read any of that here's my response: yeah sure if you want him to get killed e: now that I have read that, what are you wanting the police to do exactly? arrest him for grand theft auto?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:46 |
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Your brother's behavior is all an act, conceived and supported by your parents to make your life miserable and get you to finally move out of their loving house. Your brother executed the plan perfectly, but unfortunately you're too big a loser to get the hint.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:47 |
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Plant some drugs on him and call the cops. Prepare to be out on your rear end though since it sounds like your family likes enabling him
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:48 |
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rabble rabble posted:no, don't call the cops on your brother, try sticking to your plan without pussing out as soon as the going gets tough, christ, do you always go running to authorities to fix problems because you're unable to stick to your guns? My mother and sister end up emotionally manipulating and guilt tripping me. They say stuff like "you enable his alcoholism because you drink alcohol too." I do love to drink, and am likely in the top 30% of drinkers, but I don't harass anyone when I do so.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:49 |
man, all those harsh words and "guilt" sure must be really bad! you know what's actually bad? Being in jail. man the gently caress up and do something about your life, guilt, jesus christ dude. come on.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:50 |
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recruit a friend, find your car and leave your brother to die while intoxicated wherever the hell he is. fool proof
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:51 |
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Moridin920 posted:before I even read any of that here's my response: The next time he starts harassing the family because he's blacked out drunk I'd want him to spend the night in jail. And he's, he just committed grand theft auto, but I wouldn't call the cops on him for that (though perhaps I should, perhaps it's this endless protection we give him from the consequences of his own actions, even when they come at our expense, that have enabled him to be such a douche.) PS I did make a determination to move out several years ago but my mother guilted me out of it by saying she needs my share of the rent.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:52 |
starry skies above posted:My mother and sister end up emotionally manipulating and guilt tripping me. They say stuff like "you enable his alcoholism because you drink alcohol too." have you considered that you actually, may point in fact, be enabling him? and perhaps, as quick as you are to judge him, others do the same to you?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:52 |
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rabble rabble posted:man, all those harsh words and "guilt" sure must be really bad! you know what's actually bad? Being in jail. man the gently caress up and do something about your life, guilt, jesus christ dude. come on. Some people deserve to be in jail for being such douchebags towards others, that's why we have a criminal justice system.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:53 |
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append this op to the "why I don't have a girlfriend " thread you posted in e/n, it's at least as instructive as the reasons you gave there
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:54 |
I mean if you're a lovely human and want your brother to face the incredibly harsh machinery of the American Criminal Justice system because you're such a pussy you can't move out on your own, sure, just don't think it makes you anything less than a complete wet fart of a person, and should be ridiculed and looked down upon
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:55 |
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starry skies above posted:The next time he starts harassing the family because he's blacked out drunk I'd want him to spend the night in jail. you don't really decide what he gets charged; with the cops will just gently caress him to the full extent possible and there's a very real chance if you call them while he's doing some dumb poo poo he could end up in prison or dead uh just loving move out dude
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:57 |
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starry skies above posted:My mother and sister end up emotionally manipulating and guilt tripping me. They say stuff like "you enable his alcoholism because you drink alcohol too." Call the cops on your mom and sis for making you feel bad How is he even drinking if he makes no money? Sounds like someone is doing more than enabling by example and actually buying him alcohol.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 07:59 |
I actually just re-read the OP and it's amazing how lovely you are Your younger brother is 23, and a young shithead who's coming home drunk twice a month and being overly affectionate. that sucks to have to deal with someone like that, I totally get it, and have been there. but then you go on to say that you, his brother 7 years older, have gotten into such bad fights that your mother AND sister think you're going to seriously hurt him. the kid who's 23. beyond this, your mother and sister ALSO seem to think you are acting as a bad role model for, you know, being loving drunk all the time. it may be something that your YOUNGER BROTHER who looks up to you has picked up on over the years and thinks is the way you're supposed to live your life. this, combined with your posts about your "involuntary celibacy" tells me all I need to know. stop drinking so much, stop kicking the poo poo out of your brother 7 years younger than you, and stop dragging your mom and sister into your weird antisocial bullshit.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:01 |
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Move the ever living gently caress out and never call the cops cause a lot of them only want to kill people like you. Sorry 30 and living with mom doesn't sound good for you. gently caress you too
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:02 |
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starry skies above posted:The next time he starts harassing the family because he's blacked out drunk I'd want him to spend the night in jail. Don't let yourself be guilted just use your brain If you are paying rent and your family depends on you earning rent money then you are in a position to lay down some ground rules Your share of the rent comes with your share of decision making and not allowing him to drink should be a condition for you staying there, just make that clear. If he wants to drink he can buy his own alcohol after paying his share of the rent, it's as simple as that.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:03 |
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starry skies above posted:(perhaps it's this endless protection we give him from the consequences of his own actions, even when they come at our expense, that have enabled him to be such a douche.)
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:03 |
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rabble rabble posted:I actually just re-read the OP and it's amazing how lovely you are Lot of good points here
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:04 |
wait, isn't the OP the guy who is always in jon pop threads cheerleading from the sidelines? this thread makes a hell of a lot more sense now.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:05 |
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stop snitchin
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:06 |
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sounds like the op is a real shithead -shithead
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:06 |
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Just lock the basement door so he doesn't bother you.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:07 |
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rabble rabble posted:I actually just re-read the OP and it's amazing how lovely you are He's not being affectionate, he's been aggressive with no regards for the work schedules of everyone else the next day. quote:but then you go on to say that you, his brother 7 years older, have gotten into such bad fights that your mother AND sister think you're going to seriously hurt him. the kid who's 23. beyond this, your mother and sister ALSO seem to think you are acting as a bad role model for, you know, being loving drunk all the time. it may be something that your YOUNGER BROTHER who looks up to you has picked up on over the years and thinks is the way you're supposed to live your life. He picked up his heavy drinking from his stint in college. I only started drinking regularly 3 years ago.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:07 |
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rabble rabble posted:I mean if you're a lovely human and want your brother to face the incredibly harsh machinery of the American Criminal Justice system because you're such a pussy you can't move out on your own, sure, just don't think it makes you anything less than a complete wet fart of a person, and should be ridiculed and looked down upon Yeah seriously you are talking about putting your own brother in a judicial system that is so harsh and hosed up that several nations won't extradite people here because they consider our system to be cruel and unusual, tantamount to torture. All because you can't grow a pair and assert yourself. Living at home at 30 complaining that mom emotionally manipulates you so you want to call the police to settle a petty squabble.... You don't need to be Sigmund Freud to see why you are forever single
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:08 |
starry skies above posted:He's not being affectionate, he's been aggressive with no regards for the work schedules of everyone else the next day. Totally get it, that completely sucks. But men talk about things. You should try doing that, even though it's really hard. But here's the thing, I know you won't do this. I know you won't do this because it's hard. you don't like doing hard things. you don't like doing things that will take you out of your comfort zone. I feel pitty for you over this. It must really suck to live like that, being so afraid all the time. being so unhappy. That sounds like hell. But the thing is, it doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to live at home with your Mom, unless you want to. You can move out, and not be annoyed by your brother, if you wanted to. It may be hard. You may have to take loans, or go to a school, or take a job that you don't like, but it's possible. It's always something that you can choose to do, but you don't. and that's why you have the life you have. your lovely, sad life, where you want to call the cops on your younger brother. So make a choice to be better this one time. Make the choice to sit your stupid loving rear end down with your brother and have a loving conversation. Have it over beers, you clearly both like to drink. Just be a loving man about it and stop pussying out about EVERYTHING all the time
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:13 |
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call the cops because you sound awful and bad things should happen to you and your family "waaaah waaaaah my brother gets drunk every two weeks and i live at home and still pay rent and am a complete pushover, waaaaah come save me police man waaaaah"
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:15 |
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"my brother keeps coming into my room because i still live at home like a complete fuckwit, oh well time to call the cops. *picks up phone, begins dialing 911*. hello, cops? id like to report a real jerk. wait, mom?! mom get off the phone! im trying to be a good citizen!"
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:17 |
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lol this is the OP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnqgmgOJ4iI&t=120s
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:17 |
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Move out of your house you goony goony fucktard dummy. You're already paying rent to live with your mom. Move out. You're 30. Move the hell out. Idiot.
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:18 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 02:40 |
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hey op does your mom wash your underwear for you? when she packs you a lunch for your important big boy job does she cut off the crusts of your sandwich the way you like and leave you a note in the bag telling you she loves you?
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# ? Nov 27, 2015 08:19 |