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The 2015 holiday shopping season started with a bang as two people died outside a Target in Appleton, WI, hours before the doors even opened. Store management reacted with shock at the news. "This is unbelievable," remarked Target store manager Jeffrey Kimbrell. "I expected this to happen at Wal-Mart or maybe Best Buy, but MY store? When the district manager hears about this he's going to flip out. I bet I get a bonus. You can't buy this kind of advertising." When informed of the pre-dawn tragedy in Appleton, Wal-Mart CFO Brett Biggs remained unfazed. "This is a marathon not a sprint, and the day has just begun. Besides, I just received word that we had a 3-year-old trampled to death at Store #1587 in Modesto. The shareholders are going to eat that up." Biggs continued, "Let Target enjoy their first blood. Battles are decided by who strikes last not who strikes first - and our stores full of over-worked, underpaid employees currently facing wave after wave of desperate consumers hoping our strategic markdowns will allow them to afford a few mindless luxuries this Christmas is guaranteed to provide enough violence for even the most bloodthirsty investor."
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Nov 27, 2015 17:43
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Zzulu posted:theyve started introducing black friday here in sweden now too. It's not as big as in america yet but I guess some slightly cheaper stuff is nice That's how it starts. "Oh look, kladdkaka is on sale at ICA." Next thing you know, you're braining an 80 year old woman just to save 3 kronor on a bread maker. praxis fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Nov 27, 2015 |
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Nov 27, 2015 20:37
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JB50 posted:This is FAKE do not be fooled. The lady comes from the right, she was already in the store. The woman and child come from the aisle up top they already have boxes and were already in the store. There is a black mark on the ground where the woman try to stay at..it is a stage mark..now this is hopefully just a stupid Jimmy Kimmel stunt, but I fear there is a darker reason..you are being lied to, this was staged. Plus of course the woman walked right by 3-4 boxes just lying on the ground..Wanna get mad..get mad at the bastards that are lying to us! FALSE FLAG! JADE HELM!!
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Nov 27, 2015 21:14
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