Cubone posted:

*removes hat and sits down*

Have you ever autofellated, son? Have you ever orally stimulated your own erect genitalia? Well let me tell you something. For a man with his penis between his own lips, post-ejaculatory feelings of regret can only arrive at the least convenient of times. That much is true. But listen to me. And believe me when I say this. When you're there. When you're actually there, in that moment, tongue glazed with cum and mind full of conflict and self-loathing, tasting salt and bleach and the fish fries you ate for lunch, you have two options. And you do not take the coward's way out. Not if you're any man worth knowing. You, jizz dribbling down your throat and cool air caressing your rapidly limpening prick, by God and all his angels you man up and you suck that spunk down your reluctant gullet the way the good lord intended. You might wince. You might rinse your mouth out. Your eyes might water.
But you do it because it's what's right. And you go to sleep knowing that.

Robokomodo posted:

Don't try to get your mouth around your dick. Try to get your dick into your mouth. I read that somewhere.

les fleurs du mall posted:

les fleurs du mall posted:

les fleurs du mall posted:

Vulture posted:

i tried along time ago and failed. i will try again though and see if i can do it. my dick and balls were realaly itchy two days ago or so,

do inned to worry about possibly infecting my mouth if i suceed? i will not cum in my mouth fyi, just my belly

criscodisco posted:

They were probably just dirty which makes them really itchy. I haven't blown myself but believe me you don't want a nose full of smelly balls, your own or otherwise.

If I could hog out on my own dork, I'd probably only ever do it after a shower, and I love dicks and balls. A real dream talent though would be to be able to gently caress myself or at least eat my own rear end.

criscodisco posted:

I would definitely not try in the shower, that's an accident waiting to happen. Maybe put a towel on the bathroom floor and try there. You'll also be good and limber from a nice hot shower.

If you're still having problems, you can snap a few pics of you trying, PM them to me, and I can give you some pointers. I'll actually extend that offer to anyone reading this, because this topic is very close to my heart.

criscodisco posted:

I would definitely not try in the shower, that's an accident waiting to happen. Maybe put a towel on the bathroom floor and try there. You'll also be good and limber from a nice hot shower.

If you're still having problems, you can snap a few pics of you trying, PM them to me, and I can give you some pointers. I'll actually extend that offer to anyone reading this, because this topic is very close to my heart.

Vulture posted:

it would be tough to take pics while also trying to suck my dick. agree that i wasnt thinking much when i thougt about doing it in the showe. will try the towl thing though.

is there a safe way to do auto-exphicaiton?

criscodisco posted:

I'm not sure what exphicaiton is but I'll see about googling it. Also, I think most camera phones have a timer on them, but maybe it's just mine. I would say have a friend take the pictures, but I suppose it would be just as easy to have your friend blow you, since that's what friends are for anyway.

Vulture posted:

ther e is the one friend i like but he is not gay and will not suck my dick probably. he is from colombia and was in the military and is suave, but it was not meant to be unless uintended effects of intoxication (even then...)

yeah my phone camera has timer, but i woud need a stand of some kind. thats kind of annoying i really just want to suck my own dick here...

criscodisco posted:

I don't want to speak ill of your friend but I can't think of a friend that I wouldn't blow if he needed it, but I'm the type to give a friend the shirt off my back. I just feel like if we can't count on our friends when we need help, who can we count on?

Maybe you could make a mouth out of some melted gummy bears or something? Don't burn yourself though! Unfortunately, that would probably be too much like beating off, so I definitely understand the desire to auto-fellate. Plus, if you are into lassies and pull this off, you could give them valuable pointers. I know I've had to teach plenty of my lady friends how to really "take care" of a fella, if you know what I mean.

les fleurs du mall posted:

The Goatfather posted:

Let me share my story with autofellatio first. Ever since I was a young teen I was fascinated with my dick and the thought of being able to suck it. I tried multiple times and couldn't even get close, but when I was 15 I looked up some how to articles and did the common legs down from bed method. It took some time but eventually I could get the head in. I was so turned on and I wanted more. I kept practicing and practicing, and a year later, I could literally go balls deep. Ever since then I've been able to do that. I'm 20 now and I'm wondering if this isn't good for my spine. I've never injured myself, but I've strained some muscles before, and there have been times I have been sore afterwards. Nothing uncommon, I would take breaks when that happened, but as time went on my back became very flexible.

I have recently been noticing that it's hard for me to naturally sit up straight. My spine wants to hunch forward as it does when I'm performing the act. Obviously it's not as extreme, but I believe habitually doing this has caused it and I'm wondering if it was a mistake. I haven't been to a gym in a while, but during my senior year of high school I would struggle with doing squats. Why? Because my spine is used to curving forward. I have been looking into posture and fitness more and more lately and learned that I have anterior pelvic tilt, also known as APT. I believe it is a result from this, although it's common from sitting a lot and being hunched over a computer, something I've also had a habit of doing. Due to that, I'm not too concerned about it but sometimes I wonder. I love being able to do this, but I don't want to be injure myself working out.

Do any of you relate to what I'm saying, and are there any post autofellatio stretches you guys recommend that help you? I would like to be able to develop good posture, even if it makes this skill impossible. As a result, I'm planning on quitting for a while, but my question to you guys is has your spine become more flexible like I have described, and is that bad for your back? I don't want to have back problems for the rest of my life, and if any of you have quit and reversed your posture over time, how have you done so and what helps? Thanks much and happy sucking!

Tl;dr: Been able to self suck from. 15-20, can go balls deep. Spine is very flexible. Wondering if that's bad, if workouts such as squatting will be impossible due to it. Is it reversible, and what post stretches do you guys do afterwards.

criscodisco posted:

When I was in high school my friend Chad could do it but only if I sat in front of him and pushed down on his shoulders, but then once I tried to play with his balls while he did it and he was like "I ain't no fag man" so I stopped helping him blow himself.

DamnCanadian posted:

Lowtax once gifted a goon a $50 SA certificate (IIRC) after said goon posted a pic of him sucking his own dick

Constipated posted:

When I was like 12 or 13 I could suck my own dick, I remember it hurting my back pretty badly. It's alot like trying to tickle yourself, it's just not the same as someone else doing it to you.

Pastor Perineum posted:

http://i.imgur.com/kIpVEF4.gif

whoflungpoop posted:

im sitting on my own face pls send help

ikanreed posted:

I've never tried. Should I try now?

Windows 98 posted:

I've never actually tried because I can't even touch my own toes let alone this spinal bullshit twist