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Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

When I was young I once dreamed that I was dating Kiki form The Puzzle Place. We were riding bikes at a family outing and she wrecked hers and tore a big hole in her knee. Since she was made of foam rubber she just tore out a big chunk but didn't bleed. at that moment my family realized I'd been dating a muppet, and they went ape poo poo. Started telling me how we couldn't have kids and what not. don't remember how the dream ended but it was weird as gently caress. Feel free to share your weird night time visions.

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Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

I once dreamed that there was an old man who looked like Gargamel from the Smurfs. He'd get his kicks pushing kids down a bottomless pit. I turned the tables on him and pushed him down his own pit. Sounds simple but really I could fill a whole volume of books on the subject, like Harry Darger.

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005

Probably your mother, OP

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I had a dream where I was made mod of PYF

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
I keep having dreams where I get in fistfights and when I wake up I'm punching the mattress and pillows

I'm a sleepboxer

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
had one where i had like 50 testicles and the ball sack was swollen to the size of a big piece of luggage. i don't know what it meant, but i can't imagine it augers well for my future though.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
you know those dreams where you're back in school and the term is over but you haven't done any of the projects? I keep having those dreams but they're getting increasingly sophisticated, as if my subconscious is engaged in an arms race with my rational mind to persuade me that I'm still in school

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

I keep having dreams where I get in fistfights and when I wake up I'm punching the mattress and pillows

I'm a sleepboxer

That's impressive.

I have a hard time punching things in dreams. It's really hard to move fast and doesn't seem like there's any impact at all. Sometimes whatever I'm punching doesn't even get hurt, the dream just keeps going like I didn't try it, it's like I'm playing Half-life 2 and throwing junk around during a dialogue section.

Kicking in dreams sometimes works better, but I tend to forget.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Sometimes I dream my teeth fall out and for a few seconds after I wake up I have to check if all my teeth are there.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
I had a dream that I got attacked by a lion and I woke up flailing and trying to punch it. Boy was my face red! But yeah man I was ready to punch the poo poo out of that lion.
Another time I dreamed that a dinosaur was trying to look in my window and I had to hide.

I guess I am subconsciously afraid of large predators

insulated staircase
Aug 21, 2014

i like the ones where I get to fly :3:

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

I used to have reoccurring dreams of a WW1 soldier who died during the battle of the Somme.

This guy.

http://i.imgur.com/KW0z0rc.jpg

He come to our door and make the walls bleed. He was real pissed off at fist but once he got to know me he became benevolent. Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever return.

Smiling Mandrill fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Nov 29, 2015

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

you know those dreams where you're back in school and the term is over but you haven't done any of the projects? I keep having those dreams but they're getting increasingly sophisticated, as if my subconscious is engaged in an arms race with my rational mind to persuade me that I'm still in school

like, in the dream I'll be at my current job and get an email or something about a class I registered for and it will somehow manage to segue with another that I actually took through work and then I wake up and have to spend like ten minutes deprogramming myself and proving that it was just a dream

gently caress you, subconscious

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
Nothing more exciting than listening to a bunch of strangers talk about their loving dreams lol... haha.. Just kidding I am sorta curious since dreams are really cool and badass to me

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

One time in college I had a dream that I was being bitten by hundreds of snakes. This scared me, because I had a friend about to be shipped out for the Iraq war. The internet told me that I a dream about snakes meant that someone close to me was going to die. I got drunk one night an cried like a bitch because I was afraid that my friend was nearing his doom. Fast forward to today and it turns out that he never even deployed, and today we don't even talk to each other.Moral of the story is don't care about anyone but you.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Sometimes I dream about falling and I always wake up because my body actually shakes like I actually landed on something.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


One time I had this really hosed up dream about your mom. What was even more hosed up is the wet spot on my sheets when I woke up.

Basch lives!
May 31, 2011
Grimy Drawer
Dinosaur Gum
Teaching algebra to a class, unprepared. Spend 30 minutes fumbling around pages and pages of lecture notes before starting. Dream ends with lecture having not begun.

When I was 9: dreamt of zombie Michael Jackson coated in radioactive green, dancing/chasing after me in a greenly lit industrial factory with glowing green barrels of green radioactive goo. Woke up in another dream where I was in bed with a glowing green spot of goo, next to my face on my pillow. Woke up for real at 2am crying. Slept in parents' bed that night.

Basch lives!
May 31, 2011
Grimy Drawer
Dinosaur Gum

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Sometimes I dream about falling and I always wake up because my body actually shakes like I actually landed on something.

gently caress those dreams

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i dreamed i was standing alone in an infinite wheat field when an invisible force grabed my ballsack and started to pull it away from me and my skin just kept stretching out until tears started to open up and grow and it stretched out like bubble gum until there were only a few thin almost transparent strands left and just as i was geting ready for my balls to break off the invisible force sudenly it releases them and with great incredible speed my balls accelerated toward my face and straight into my open mouth giving me a huge mouthful of my own balls, jolting my head back with the impact of my balls, and i wake up, the feeling of my own balls is still fresh in my mouth as i become aware of a hot sensation in my pants like im pissing but actually im cuming freestyle. i lay in bed for a while then rubed out another one and went back to sleep.

Orkin Mang fucked around with this message at 09:07 on Nov 29, 2015

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
what if

we're still dreaming

1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

The one with the serial killer who tapes party horns/blowers to his victim's mouths as they take their final breaths.

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
A killing squad was combing through my neighborhood and i watched them murder people I knew irl. Tried to run away and hide but they caught me and started shooting and I actually felt the bullets hitting my body it was hosed.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Tace Vim posted:

The one with the serial killer who tapes party horns/blowers to his victim's mouths as they take their final breaths.

haha

naem
May 29, 2011

Mr. Unlucky
Nov 1, 2006

by R. Guyovich

down n out posted:

A killing squad was combing through my neighborhood and i watched them murder people I knew irl. Tried to run away and hide but they caught me and started shooting and I actually felt the bullets hitting my body it was hosed.

I have been electrocuted in dreams a few times and its like my whole body is in extreme pain for a few seconds as I wake up. that poo poo is weird.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Tace Vim posted:

The one with the serial killer who tapes party horns/blowers to his victim's mouths as they take their final breaths.

lol

George Rouncewell
Jul 20, 2007

You think that's illegal? Heh, watch this.
Like last week i dreamed i was at work and loving werewolves ran around the hospital running moonshine and drugs to the severely cirrhotic patients. They spoke in high pitched Estonian.
When i woke i was like man gently caress you Warren zevon

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
i regularly have dreams when im workinhg in a kitchen trying to clear tickets but i cant figure out how to make anything and i cant get anything done. also usually nothings wrapped or labeled or properly stored and i get angrier and angrier until i wake up sobbing

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
i have some crazy dreams i tell you what

Constipated
Nov 25, 2009

Gotta make that money man its still the same now
Dreamt a Muslim dude I work with was a member of isis, and I was being held prisoner. He raped me and then I escaped and brutally stabbed the gently caress out of some guards with an enormous knife.

Was kind of weird seeing him the day after that one.

Boko Haram
Dec 22, 2008

My brother was laughing and chasing me while he shot threw these 6" needles at me that were piercing me, so I had to go after him and strangle him. It didn't phase him and he was laughing and making eyte contact the whole time which was really disturbing for me.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
I had a dream where people I knew turned into zombies.

Worldshatter
May 7, 2015

:kazooieass:PEPSI for TV-GAME:kazooieass:



I had a dream where a few friends and I were traveling across America, but we ran out of money. In order to resolve this issue we decided that the best course of action would be to rob a McDonald's (because it's America so that place is bound to be loaded with cash). The robbery went off without a hitch and we left with two big bags of money. We then decided later that day that the best course of action would be to spend some of this money on lunch in that very same McDonald's. Halfway through our meal a police man walked in and declared "I've figured out who robbed the McDonald's, it was... The French" In response to this a random French man in the restaurant gave an accented giggle and bolted out the door in a way only a Frenchman can.

That was a loving weird dream.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
Last night I dreamt that I was like the emperor of Wisconsin basically. I had like a queen wife and several magical aliens that were like red blue green etc that I would bang and what not in bathroom stalls.

Then I lost everything somehow and had to fight my RL dad to take my land back. I outsmarted him and then basically was like "whatever you're not the real mastermind! The Joker is!" And then I killed the joker from batman and I was racing around on a robotic horse or some poo poo or chasing a robotic horse while helicopters were circling around my old neighborhood looking for me. Then I found several grates on the ground that had spy cams n poo poo in them I smashed them all and was like "This ones my spy cams, this ones the government, this ones the FBI, this ones the secret illuminati!"

Then I reached into the illuminati one and pulled out two large candles made of fat with human blood dripping off them. Then I met a monk in a hooded robe who was in charge of the cult. They were upset I found their candles but took me to their cult meeting anyways where they were performing some kind of ritual to awaken a dragon.

I went there and was like HAH I'm going to use these candles to greet the dragon and make a blood pact with it! They were like "Oh shittttt you have those candles so Ig uess we can't stop you!, But if you fail you'll die!"

So then I spoke to the dragon and told him how I've killed all this other poo poo before him and consumed their power, ogres, elves, rats, and other kinds of poo poo. Then I told him after I'm done with him I'm gonna go kill some even bigger poo poo. He was so impressed and amused he agreed to the deal and made the pact with me after I lost both my arms in some kind of fight with his servants and him within his realm of existence.

So then I came back with like scaly dragon claw hands I could rip people apart with and was even more powerful and everyone in the cult was applauding me. I looked in the audience and there I saw my cousin and uncle who were nodding with approval and applauding too! It was pretty crazy they were members of this cult but w/e I was their god now.

Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep again and had a dream there was flooding and I couldn't get back home and was stuck at some bar full of really nice people who built a bridge out of wooden planks for my car to drive across and get home so I wouldn't have to go through like 12ft deep water.

My dreams are almost always poo poo like this and its pretty great.


Also I get a lot of blowjobs from chicks in my dreams too which is nice except when you wake up and are like "oh poo poo it was a dream god dammit! Well at least I didn't nut myself."


E:

Thankfully I always wake up before I nut myself otherwise it would suck rear end.

Microwaves Mom fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Nov 29, 2015

My Q-Face
Jul 8, 2002

A dumb racist who need to kill themselves
I have nightmares several times a week, that probably counts as hosed up dreams. I can't really single out the most hosed up ones, though I can remember my earliest, when I was about 3 years old. We were living in a farmhouse at the time. There were flashes coming through my curtains, so I stood up in my bed to look out and everything was lit up red. I saw these creatures with upside down tear-drop faces walking in and out of the barn across the street. They were bathed in the red light coming from somewhere out of my view. Then one of them walked right up to my window and looked directly at me. I threw the curtains closed and threw myself down on my bed, but somehow it could still see me through the still swinging crack in my curtains. And then there was another one standing there in my room who threw a net over me, and I woke up screaming, wrapped up in my knit afghan blanket.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

My Q-Face posted:

I have nightmares several times a week, that probably counts as hosed up dreams. I can't really single out the most hosed up ones, though I can remember my earliest, when I was about 3 years old. We were living in a farmhouse at the time. There were flashes coming through my curtains, so I stood up in my bed to look out and everything was lit up red. I saw these creatures with upside down tear-drop faces walking in and out of the barn across the street. They were bathed in the red light coming from somewhere out of my view. Then one of them walked right up to my window and looked directly at me. I threw the curtains closed and threw myself down on my bed, but somehow it could still see me through the still swinging crack in my curtains. And then there was another one standing there in my room who threw a net over me, and I woke up screaming, wrapped up in my knit afghan blanket.

lol, wrapped up in your afghan like a net oh my god that had to be terrifying.

I had a nightmare once where I was half awake. It was that sleep disorder or whatever where you're awake but your body isn't. It felt like someone put their hand on my back and started rocking me back and forth, but i Knew no one was in bed with me. I was terrified and wanted to scream for help but couldn't. So I just pretended to be asleep like it wasn't bothering me.


E:
One time I dreamt Hellen Keller threw a fire axe at me and it went right into my nuts. I woke up and immediately grabbed down there to make sure I was still okay I swear I could feel pain.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

When I was taking seroquel to help me sleep, I would have these really long and hosed up dreams where I would have to repeat an action until I got it correct. They always involved my death and it felt like I had to repeat them hundreds of times.

The least hosed up one involved me, Batman, falling off a building in slow motion with the Joker. I had to shoot and kill him before we hit the ground. I can remember it happening over and over because it was nearly impossible to aim and fire while falling and confused. It was some kind of clock tower in a middle eastern setting. It started again as soon as I touched the ground.

Another involved dinosaurs. I was on the side of a large field and had to get into a bunker on the other side, but had a herd of large carnivorous dinosaurs blocking it. Eventually I reached the other side by running to the right and then directly through them which makes no sense. This one also started again as soon as they reached me.

The worst was the alien dream. I was in a large warehouse style store like Sam's Club or Costco and had to escape the building without being killed by a xenomorph from the Alien series. It was horrific. I kept dying over and over. It would drop down on me, come out of a grate, already be charging me when I began, be waiting outside the exit and impale me with its tail when I was almost out, etc. I never escaped because I was woken up in the night mid-dream by my brother drunkenly walking into my room to tell me about porn he had just watched. This was the worst dream not only because it was loving horrifying, but because it didn't "restart" like the others when the alien reached me. I felt it, albeit in a painless way, every time and watched as it lowered its face to mine to kill me skull punch style before it restarted.

It was like some hosed up version of the Matrix and occurred just about every night I took seroquel.

flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Nov 29, 2015

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

My nightmares these days always involve hitting someone with my car and thinking my life is over, then I wake up and I'm happy :)

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Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
You just made me remember a dream I had when they gave me knockout gas it was pretty rainbow hilly and trippy. Was a nice dream. I think I was riding a magic rainbow carpet over the rainbow hills.

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