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Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
I don't know if I can make it home in this state. Thinking about cracking one off in the parking lot, or else I'm liable to gently caress without warning.

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Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
Pros of cracking one off:
-I'd be jacking off which is win
-get the chance to bust the big LOAD I'm working on

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post

Cross post from the booty thread

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Oh hey there, Kellen Winslow.

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/24411822/witness-kellen-winslow-masturbating-in-target-parking-lot

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
Cons:
-might make a mess
-won't be as good as JÖ at home
-potentially illegal

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

Windows 98 posted:

Cross post from the booty thread

Dude you are pushing me over the edge

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I say wait it out ,op.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I say 'bate it out ,op.

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000
one microsecond after "cracking one out" in the parking lot:

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

I've been misquoted

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
pst pics bb

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Baxter posted:

one microsecond after "cracking one out" in the parking lot:



Still not as bad as right after you just banged a girl you don't like but now she's in love with you.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Take a sex toy to work in your lunch bag.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I take a lunch to work in my sex toy bag.

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000

FIRST TIME posted:

Still not as bad as right after you just banged a girl you don't like but now she's in love with you.

does that happen to women?

Probably so, but they generally have more sense than to bang someone they don't like.

banme
Apr 23, 2008
goonfession: i used to crank off while driving and also high on adderall. ama

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Baxter posted:

does that happen to women?

Probably so, but they generally have more sense than to bang someone they don't like.

Yeah but usually they don't even try to pretend they like the guy afterward.

Not_Rainbow_Horse
Nov 11, 2013
take a sock off and bust into the sock. the benefits are two fold: no one can see your junk and no messy clean up!

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

fourteen hundred posted:

goonfession: i used to crank off while driving and also high on adderall. ama

Tell me more about being a trucker.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
where do you live? wanna j/o together? it's ok if you're a girl, girls can j/o too

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
Cut off your dick, problem solved

That will be $60

Tactical Lesbian
Mar 31, 2012

if you're in the car, in a parking lot

couldn't you work one out in the time it took you to shitpost this thread?

dreezy
Mar 4, 2015

yeah, rip.

fourteen hundred posted:

goonfession: i used to crank off while driving and also high on adderall. ama

where did the jizz go?

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

dreezy posted:

where did the jizz go?

best lubrication an engine can get

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
How did the jo session go ,op?

Tactical Lesbian
Mar 31, 2012

https://vine.co/v/e2Khj0p3W5M
https://vine.co/v/eYUZ9O5LqpE
https://vine.co/v/eYUWFZumwIi
https://vine.co/v/i7u0WixlVXt

:nws:

Ben Smash
Aug 22, 2005

LARDROOM
Grimey Drawer

These are great

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice




ur welcome

:gizz:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_O5R1WOyts

srsly

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 07:05 on Dec 24, 2015

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
What, no Lena Dunham?

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Cool NIN Shirt posted:

Cons:
-might make a mess

that's what makes it so nasty op, shoot a massive wad on the door handle of the car next to yours and just imagine that motherfucker going to open their car door and coming away with a spunk hand and they look down at the cum hanging in thick ropes from between their spread fingers and suddenly realize that the *system* is *bullshit* man

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

-won't be as good as JÖ at home

bust it in the parking lot and then roll home and smoke a doob and bust it AGAIN

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

-potentially illegal

toughen up

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

dreezy posted:

where did the jizz go?



it was prob the adderall

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Hector Beerlioz posted:

How did the jo session go ,op?

Well?

Tactical Lesbian
Mar 31, 2012

Ben Smash posted:

These are great

AREN'T THEY THOUGH??? Omg!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8uXDZ1S_zQ

Tactical Lesbian
Mar 31, 2012

Hector Beerlioz posted:

How did the jo session go ,op?

we demand answers, OP

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


you guys are killing op's boner

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
Well, I wasn't gonna JO tonight, but what the gently caress is the point of having a functional cock and balls if you don't beat it like an egg?

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


VendaGoat posted:

Well, I wasn't gonna JO tonight, but what the gently caress is the point of having a functional cock and balls if you don't beat it like an egg?

patriarchy

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

VendaGoat posted:

Well, I wasn't gonna JO tonight, but what the gently caress is the point of having a functional cock and balls if you don't beat it like an egg?

Masterbating is a mortal sin. You now must go to confession or else you can't receive communion at Christmas mass, which is another mortal sin.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Masterbating is a mortal sin. You now must go to confession or else you can't receive communion at Christmas mass, which is another mortal sin.

Now I gotta talk to a priest about the details of my JO sess?

This is a fetish porn script.

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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

FIRST TIME posted:

Still not as bad as right after you just banged a girl you don't like but now she's in love with you.

Haha I know right? This happens to me ALL THE TIME

all... The time... Sob

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