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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



I feel like women are only attracted to me because I'm extremely good looking. So when i go to have sex with a woman, I often start to think, maybe she only wants my 10 inch dick, and is not going to respond to my calls, or listen to my voicemails, or read my emails, or texts. Anyways, during this time of wonder, i often lose my erection while putting on condom.

edit: thank you thread, i will switch to a larger condom, who knew all this trouble was because my large dick was being strangled.

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DEAD MAN'S SHOE
Nov 23, 2003

We will become evil and the stars will come alive
its a bit easier if you are attracted to condoms

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
use a cock ring

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
Cut off your dick, problem solved

That will be $60

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

put in your buttplug

www
Aug 4, 2010

dont use one

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Perhaps you are actually attracted to men?

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



OctoberBlues posted:

Perhaps you are actually attracted to men?

i'm gay??

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

ethanol posted:

i'm gay??

Maybe, we will support you either way.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

I don't put on a condom. I prefuck a condom on

ghosTTy
Sep 22, 2008

make her put the condom on with he r fanny

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

ethanol posted:

I feel like women are only attracted to me because I'm extremely good looking. So when i go to have sex with a woman, I often start to think, maybe she only wants my 10 inch dick, and is not going to respond to my calls, or listen to my voicemails, or read my emails, or texts. Anyways, during this time of wonder, i often lose my erection while putting on condom.

edit: thank you thread, i will switch to a larger condom, who knew all this trouble was because my large dick was being strangled.

This but uniroinicly

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
lol if you dont raw bareback it like a real man

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

EorayMel posted:

lol if you dont raw bareback it like a real man

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot

EorayMel posted:

lol if you dont raw bareback it like a real man

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
Lol who wears a condom in 2015?

DICKLORD BONE
Aug 27, 2003
I must go shopping...

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001

EorayMel posted:

lol if you dont raw bareback it with a real man

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000

ethanol posted:

I feel like women are only attracted to me because I'm extremely good looking. So when i go to have sex with a woman, I often start to think, maybe she only wants my 10 inch dick, and is not going to respond to my calls, or listen to my voicemails, or read my emails, or texts. Anyways, during this time of wonder, i often lose my erection while putting on condom.

edit: thank you thread, i will switch to a larger condom, who knew all this trouble was because my large dick was being strangled.

this but facetiously

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Make her do that mouth trick like Mr. Garrison from Southpark.

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

for real though, are those slimey stinky things really the best tech we have been able to come up with?

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene

Fonzarelli posted:

for real though, are those slimey stinky things really the best tech we have been able to come up with?

I agree. Human female vaginas are so stone age.

the last signal...
Apr 16, 2009

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
killing yourself always get me hard

Testikles
Feb 22, 2009

The cast of Seinfield must have loving cerebral palsy because they can't open peanut bags or condoms.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Testikles posted:

The cast of Seinfield must have loving cerebral palsy because they can't open peanut bags or condoms.
junior mints flying everywhere

Testikles
Feb 22, 2009

numberoneposter posted:

junior mints flying everywhere

No that was Spin City and Michael J Fox's Parkinsons.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



cant be done. thru trial and error i have developed what i think is the best way to do it. ive got a technique where you unroll the condom to maximum length and then use the eraser end of a pencil to stuff your flaccid member into it. one day i hope to find a pwrson to have sex with

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

tell me more about cockrings...

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene

Testikles posted:

No that was Spin City and Michael J Fox's Parkinsons.

There's an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer drops a junior mint into a patient undergoing surgery, and you parsed this sentence correctly the first time.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
lol if it doesnt take you like 2 seconds to put a condom on

jesus christ

Testikles
Feb 22, 2009

Sharzak posted:

There's an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer drops a junior mint into a patient undergoing surgery, and you parsed this sentence correctly the first time.

Yeah, I got the reference. I just flew too close to the sun by trying to kick it to a Parkinson's joke and it didn't work out. It was worth a shot.

Killed a Girl in 96
Jun 15, 2001

DON'T STOP CAN'T STOP
lol if you don't pull incredible rear end all the time, but your dick don't work properly cause of all the anti-depressants youre on.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
big dicks are hard to deal with

Killed a Girl in 96
Jun 15, 2001

DON'T STOP CAN'T STOP
just to re-iterate, even when i'm balls deep in an incredibly beautiful woman, on some level i still want to kill myself

Cantorsdust
Aug 10, 2008

Infinitely many points, but zero length.
You make her (him?) put it on instead, idiot.

tote up a bags
Jun 8, 2006

die stoats die

Just wear one (the same one) for your entire life

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
You can use them twice by turning them inside out after the first time

Truck Stop Stall
Jul 11, 2006

amityville anus posted:

You can use them twice by turning them inside out after the first time

just like toilet paper

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Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
how to maintain erection while assembling a gundam

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