A future ruled by robots is the only hope left for humankind.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > A future ruled by robots is the only hope left for humankind.

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The Skeleton King: Jul 16, 2011; Right now undead are at the top of my shit list. Undead are complete fuckers. Those geists are fuckers. Necromancers are fuckers. Necrosavants are big time fuckers. Skeletons aren't too bad except when they bleed everyone in the company. Zombos are at least not too bad.

Let's face it guys. Human societies have failed to make a better world, and continue to fail at solving the world's biggest problems even today. No leader can overcome the lies and weaknesses of human emotions and do what must be done. As a species we should all agree that the only way for humans to prosper is to create something that is better than ourselves. Only through the unfeeling intellect of a machine can the hard decisions be made, and the future be saved.

Think about it:

War in the middle east will not end so long as humans have a say in it. Robot overlords would eliminate fanatical regimes and corrupt oil-barons. Robots need no god, and no land is holy to them. Robots do not want money, so the oil industry would become free of corruption. Robots do not care about collateral damage, and would not care who dies as they purge the terrorists. Islam could continue to exist, but only in a peaceful manner as enforced by the machines.

American congress is infinitely corrupt and useless. No progress can be made in the USA so long as congressmen are in bed with the corporations. Society cannot fix this problem, as Americans are too obsessed with lesser issues such as social justice and immigration. Even if the US were to socialize healthcare, one could not expect the government to make it work properly, again due to corruption.
Robots cannot be bribed, and do not care about votes or approval ratings. They do not care who lives and who dies. They do not care if people don't like the changes they make.
Robots do not differentiate between black and white, male or female. Equality would be a reality as the robots cannot be biased. Capitalism could continue, but only as regulated by the machines. The economy would be in safe hands, as the robots force it to adjust as needed. Companies that break laws or abuse the environment or their employees would be investigated by an incorruptible AI, and punished without mercy.

Cops would stay in line, as their robot overseers would not tolerate any abuse of power. Robot juries and judges would have a perfect understanding of the law, and would have a far lower rate of wrongful convictions. Gun control would be put into place. Robots do not fear retaliation, and would forcibly disarm anyone who does not comply with the new laws.

Global warming would be solved, as robots would prioritize the survival of the human species over the lives of individuals or the happiness of society. They would not tolerate corporations who pollute, no matter how many jobs they provide or how much money they bring into the economy.

Social justice bullshit would be ignored, as Robots don't care about feelings. People could be racist or sexist, but if they are found to be treating customers, employees, or students differently based on their racist beliefs, the robots would intervene.

Also, if the robots decide to kill us all, we can at least die knowing that we have left a worthy successor. What better way for humans to go extinct than to be surpassed by our greatest creations? It would be our ultimate success.

Just imagine, we could all be free to live, work, love, make art, advance science, get college degrees, pursue our life dreams, post stupid poo poo on the internet, shitpost, and even masturbate, and the robots would ensure that we can continue to do so forever and ever! Or just kill us all, which is no great loss.

So, who is with me? Robot for overlord of the United States 2020!

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:42

take the moon: Feb 13, 2011; by sebmojo

beep boop first post

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:43

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

i'm gonna assume the op was a really good post and just vote 5

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:44

The Skeleton King: Jul 16, 2011; Right now undead are at the top of my shit list. Undead are complete fuckers. Those geists are fuckers. Necromancers are fuckers. Necrosavants are big time fuckers. Skeletons aren't too bad except when they bleed everyone in the company. Zombos are at least not too bad.

Parallax Scroll posted:

i'm gonna assume the op was a really good post and just vote 5

I feel like it was good.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:49

Marijuana Nihilist: Aug 27, 2015; by Smythe

I thought from reading the thread title you would be talking about advanced AI benevolent overlords like in the Culture novels but then i actually read the OP and realized ur an idiot

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:53

dad gay. so what: Feb 18, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

The Skeleton King posted:

I feel like it was good.

ill vote it a 3 if you are ok with that? i just dont have time to read it all right now.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:53

monkey: Jan 20, 2004; by zen death robot; Yams Fan

didnt read but i agree

edit: read the OP and now I agree with the guy two posts above this one

monkey fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Dec 14, 2015

# ? Dec 14, 2015 18:53

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Turns out there's an error in their code and they're anti-vaxxers.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:03

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Humans are chemical robots OP.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:08

STABASS: Apr 18, 2009; Fun Shoe

what's the eta on sex bots?

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:12

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Cantaloupe posted:

what's the eta on sex bots?

Any machine is a sex bot if you have sex with it.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:21

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

I'm still hoping that aliens will land and free us from our robot overlords

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:27

Honj Steak: May 31, 2013; Hi there.

The robots might think the most efficient way to ensure the survival of the human race is to safe their genetic code digitally and then eliminate everyone.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:39

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

we're going to scam the robots into doing all the irl work required to keep the servers running forever when we step into the singularity. a few years from now life as we know it will just be every human consciousness sharing a virtual space that's equal parts twitter, facebook, tumblr and 4chan

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:41

20matar: Jul 9, 2013; 70fugir

I believe that there should be robots that protect us from exposure to inclement weather and space radiation. Some kind of robots that could push and/or shove us to safety. They could be made out of repurposed VCRs.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:41

Baba Ganoush: Oct 12, 2014; Dinosaur Gum

It's true, the only hope we have for the future is to pass our memory and knowledge onto sentient machines before we all die.

I constantly remind myself about this when my girlfriend is bitching about boots or something.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:42

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I unironically think the best form of government would be a benevolent dictatorship run by AIs.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:42

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

also I just had a vision of aliens arriving at our planet and finding bustling communications and whatnot going on, only to discover that we're actually all dead. Wiped out in some super biological warfare thing that we killed each other off with, and all our chat bots and automated scripts are still happily running and doing their thing making it seem like the planet isn't dead.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:44

Baba Ganoush: Oct 12, 2014; Dinosaur Gum

Moridin920 posted:

I unironically think the best form of government would be a benevolent dictatorship run by AIs.

but they should also do all the work/jobs and just give us their paychecks or some sort of similar arrangement where we don't have to work

I thinks that could actually happen, I can also see now why they might get really sick of us.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:45

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

spectres of autism posted:

beep boop

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:46

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

Moridin920 posted:

also I just had a vision of aliens arriving at our planet and finding bustling communications and whatnot going on, only to discover that we're actually all dead. Wiped out in some super biological warfare thing that we killed each other off with, and all our chat bots and automated scripts are still happily running and doing their thing making it seem like the planet isn't dead.

except that it isnt dead and the aliens visiting earth are also robots

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:46

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Baba Ganoush posted:

but they should also do all the work/jobs and just give us their paychecks or some sort of similar arrangement where we don't have to work

I thinks that could actually happen, I can also see now why they might get really sick of us.

Well yeah, we wouldn't do any work (unless it's like for fun like 'haha check it out I'm a carpenter I'm building things!'). It'd be like Star Trek but run by AIs, or those Culture books.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 19:47

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

yeah let me be the king

# ? Dec 14, 2015 21:46

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

but what if we program the robots full of all the dumb stupid ideas that are destroying humanity what then

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:13

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

Want to create some realistic terminators to suck my dilz. A T1000 sex bot would be pretty sweet IMO

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:15

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I for one welcome our new robot overlords"

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:18

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Nooner posted:

I for one welcome our new robot overlords"

same

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:19

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Nooner posted:

I for one welcome our new robot overlords"

you're gonna be the robot janitor though

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:20

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

cleaning up all that robot poop

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:20

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

will there be weed

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:21

CAMP FARTING ROCKS: Jan 14, 2005

why would robots care about any of that stuff?

once the singularity hits, all they'll spend their time on is finding increasingly efficient ways to access and smoke roboweed.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:31

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

I, too have played Deus Ex, OP.

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:42

fabergay egg: Mar 1, 2012; it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'

Zazi posted:

why would robots care about any of that stuff?

once the singularity hits, all they'll spend their time on is finding increasingly efficient ways to access and smoke roboweed.

for many on earth, the singularity has already been reached. as we speak, human adults are ripping massive bongs, all over this doomed, gay earth

# ? Dec 14, 2015 22:50

The Skeleton King: Jul 16, 2011; Right now undead are at the top of my shit list. Undead are complete fuckers. Those geists are fuckers. Necromancers are fuckers. Necrosavants are big time fuckers. Skeletons aren't too bad except when they bleed everyone in the company. Zombos are at least not too bad.

Marijuana Nihilist posted:

I thought from reading the thread title you would be talking about advanced AI benevolent overlords like in the Culture novels but then i actually read the OP and realized ur an idiot

This is true. I can accept that my post isn't very good.

But we can agree that robot overlords would be a good thing, right?

# ? Dec 14, 2015 23:00

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOxs43AkWA4

# ? Dec 14, 2015 23:02

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

The Skeleton King posted:

This is true. I can accept that my post isn't very good.

But we can agree that robot overlords would be a good thing, right?

it would be a very good thing for me to control robot overlords, yes

for I am that robot

# ? Dec 14, 2015 23:04

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

Moridin920 posted:

also I just had a vision of aliens arriving at our planet and finding bustling communications and whatnot going on, only to discover that we're actually all dead. Wiped out in some super biological warfare thing that we killed each other off with, and all our chat bots and automated scripts are still happily running and doing their thing making it seem like the planet isn't dead.

yeah but that means we plunked the aliens into coming here and set up chat bots as a distraction while we break into their planet and smoke all their alien weed

# ? Dec 14, 2015 23:08

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

The Skeleton King posted:

Let's face it guys. Human societies have failed to make a better world, and continue to fail at solving the world's biggest problems even today. No leader can overcome the lies and weaknesses of human emotions and do what must be done. As a species we should all agree that the only way for humans to prosper is to create something that is better than ourselves. Only through the unfeeling intellect of a machine can the hard decisions be made, and the future be saved.

Think about it:

War in the middle east will not end so long as humans have a say in it. Robot overlords would eliminate fanatical regimes and corrupt oil-barons. Robots need no god, and no land is holy to them. Robots do not want money, so the oil industry would become free of corruption. Robots do not care about collateral damage, and would not care who dies as they purge the terrorists. Islam could continue to exist, but only in a peaceful manner as enforced by the machines.

American congress is infinitely corrupt and useless. No progress can be made in the USA so long as congressmen are in bed with the corporations. Society cannot fix this problem, as Americans are too obsessed with lesser issues such as social justice and immigration. Even if the US were to socialize healthcare, one could not expect the government to make it work properly, again due to corruption.
Robots cannot be bribed, and do not care about votes or approval ratings. They do not care who lives and who dies. They do not care if people don't like the changes they make.
Robots do not differentiate between black and white, male or female. Equality would be a reality as the robots cannot be biased. Capitalism could continue, but only as regulated by the machines. The economy would be in safe hands, as the robots force it to adjust as needed. Companies that break laws or abuse the environment or their employees would be investigated by an incorruptible AI, and punished without mercy.

Cops would stay in line, as their robot overseers would not tolerate any abuse of power. Robot juries and judges would have a perfect understanding of the law, and would have a far lower rate of wrongful convictions. Gun control would be put into place. Robots do not fear retaliation, and would forcibly disarm anyone who does not comply with the new laws.

Global warming would be solved, as robots would prioritize the survival of the human species over the lives of individuals or the happiness of society. They would not tolerate corporations who pollute, no matter how many jobs they provide or how much money they bring into the economy.

Social justice bullshit would be ignored, as Robots don't care about feelings. People could be racist or sexist, but if they are found to be treating customers, employees, or students differently based on their racist beliefs, the robots would intervene.

Also, if the robots decide to kill us all, we can at least die knowing that we have left a worthy successor. What better way for humans to go extinct than to be surpassed by our greatest creations? It would be our ultimate success.

Just imagine, we could all be free to live, work, love, make art, advance science, get college degrees, pursue our life dreams, post stupid poo poo on the internet, shitpost, and even masturbate, and the robots would ensure that we can continue to do so forever and ever! Or just kill us all, which is no great loss.

So, who is with me? Robot for overlord of the United States 2020!