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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Sorry, this will be sort of long.

I work with/for my parents in their real estate business and on their team. The team has my stepmother, the lead and listing agent, and my dad, who is also licensed but does mostly admin and marketing. We also have two assistants and three buyer specialists. I'm the photography guy, and I also do all the print marketing and internet marketing relating to all the listings, and I input the listings into our multiple listing service. I've recently begun to question whether it's good for my mental health to be working with them. On one hand, I gained lots of experience and knowledge in the real estate field after getting licensed, and I have their expertise to benefit me in deals. On the other hand, I've since stopped selling or looking for buyer leads, because photography and marketing is a 55-65 hours-a-week job. I got out of the army and landed in this job because why not? Before I came back, my dad was doing all the photography and such, so he taught me most of what I know. Since I've been in the business (about 3 years and some change), I feel as though I've surpassed him in photography and marketing skill. I took it upon myself to learn more about photography, what does and doesn't work in photographing homes, the equipment needed to get the best photos, and the best way to market homes with photos.

Recently, he's been so busy with other things that he barely checks on my photos or anything, which is how I like it anyway, because he's so super-particular about photography that he basically nitpicks at everything I do. It's too much contrast or not enough; too much saturation or not enough; the angle of the photo of the front of the house is wrong; etc. I did some night photography on a luxury listing a couple months ago and the clients raved about them. Now, I know I'm far from perfect, and I never alleged to anyone that I think I'm the bee's knees when it comes to home photography. That said, I feel like I do way better than 90% of the agents out there, who mostly take photos with their cell phones or crappy $50 digital cameras. I think I'm pretty much, in a lot of respects, on par with other professional photographers who get hired by listing agents. I've had numerous agents ask what it would cost them to hire me, and I tell them I only work for our group. Anyway, I ordered some brochures with the night photos and I thought they were pretty good. My dad saw them and picked them apart, said nothing positive about them at all, and told me I had to go re-do the night photos and the brochures. Again, the clients loved them. I felt it was more important that the clients love the photos, and my dad felt it was more important to adhere to his standards for the photos. I told him he'd certainly only be satisfied with my photography if he got to edit the photos himself, because I feel like it's never good enough unless I edit them exactly how he would. We got into a huge shouting argument, and I'm glad this was early in the morning before anyone showed up to the office. He told me to re-do the photos, I said the clients are satisfied and that I wouldn't re-do them. Then he told me to go home because I was fired. Later on he called me and left a VM on my phone and texted me saying he was sorry and this argument was stupid and he wanted me to come back to work.

All of this is to say I feel like this wouldn't have happened if he wasn't my father. He wouldn't have screamed at me or demanded I re-do, which I still feel was unreasonable. I wouldn't have gotten in his face and yelled right back. If he was my boss, and I wasn't related to him, I couldn't have gotten away with speaking to him like that and been un-fired. If I wasn't his son, he would've respect my work and suggested in some other way that I could have done better. Like I said, I'm in no way perfect and I want to go to school to get better at photography, something I can't do during the day and still work at the pace I need to in order to do this job well. Yes, we shouldn't have spoken to each other in such a way. I told him that if he respected me or my work that he would have something positive to say about anything I do. He basically just kept on screaming, "I'm your father, and you don't talk to me that way! You'll speak to me with respect!" To which I replied that respect goes both ways, and I'm an adult also worthy of respect, especially when I put in the hours I do just to get my work picked apart by a guy who has barely looked at a camera since handing over the photo duties to me. Most recently, my father-in-law died, and I had a buyer taken from me summarily after no other agent had the time/was willing to take over the buyer's file and help them through the rest of the process to closing. So I kept on with the buyer until she was taken from me by my step mother, meaning I had to give a big percentage of the commission I'd make (my largest commission ever, and one that was going to pull my wife and I out of financial trouble) to one of the very agents who didn't want to put in the time to help me originally. I was in no emotional state to handle this buyer alone and made that known and tried to hand it off, only to get it thrown in my face and have them act like I was the one screwing up to the point THEY had to TAKE it from ME.

My only relationship with him these days is work. If they are unhappy with my my performance at work, this bleeds over into our personal life (though they allege it doesn't). I only see them at work, and because of this, my wife and I are rarely inclined to see them socially as often. I am anxious all the time about work, can't escape it, and even when I do see my parents socially, the conversation turns to real estate. If I get a text from my dad or my step mother, I assume it's to bitch at me for something I couldn't get done to please a client quickly enough. It all just builds into anxiety. I feel like I can't take a sick day or be gone even though I'm supposed to have time flexibility to handle personal matters if I need to during the day, because if I'm not there to do my job, it doesn't get done--there's no one to whom I can throw the ball, because no one has the time or know-how to do my job. I have no assistant because I'm told we have two already and can't afford another. Hell, just a few months ago I was sick with a massive sinus infection and my eyes burned, I couldn't hear, and I couldn't breathe through my nose. That day we had a scheduled professional team photo shoot, and I called my dad to tell him I was sick, and he made me come in anyway after he swore up and down that it would be okay if someone couldn't make it (they'd just have to have the photos done on their own time). I'm expected to take over this business when they retire, but when I see what it does to my parents now, I feel less inclined to do it. So I've begun to look at the possibility of a job change related to what I did in the military, which could be lucrative for my wife and I. She has a job that could support the both of us, but we want children within this year, and we both work hours that really preclude the idea of being good parents to our children. My wife is also looking for a job change because he's unsatisfied with her job situation (it's a six-figure job).

Overall, I feel like I can't sustain this. I want a good relationship with my parents that doesn't hinge on work. I don't want my dad to be my boss. I don't want to get calls about tasks or things I haven't done when I'm in my off time. I don't want to work 60 hours a week anymore with more poo poo waiting to be plopped on my plate for the next week. Responsibilities keep getting added to my job with no consideration as to whether or not I might have more than enough to do already. While I'm sure many of these things would come with a job in which I didn't work for my parents, or one not related to real estate, I think working with my parents is causing anxiety I don't need. I've recently looked into getting a non-narcotic stress and anxiety medication, though this is only temporary until I can find a different job.

Is this a common downfall of working with/for one's parents? Or is this situation unique to me and my parents? Is it objectively a bad idea to work with one's parents because of issues like this?

tl;dr: Working with parents causing a lot of stress, I feel they are being unreasonable and don't consider how much I already work before putting more work on me, and that it's affecting my relationship with them to a large degree because we're family and will more readily speak to each other in a manner in which a normal boss/employee relationship wouldn't make possible. Do I look for another job which would let me make just as good (or better) pay to work 40-50 hours a week?

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My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

life is killing me posted:

Do I look for another job which would let me make just as good (or better) pay to work 40-50 hours a week?
Yes. Any other questions?

slap me silly
Nov 1, 2009
Grimey Drawer

life is killing me posted:

Is this a common downfall of working with/for one's parents? Or is this situation unique to me and my parents? Is it objectively a bad idea to work with one's parents because of issues like this?

Yes, no, and sometimes. Anyway your entire feeldump post could be summarized as "I'm sick of being in business with my fam", and that's totally legit. It's not working for you, so find something else - that's 110% reasonable no matter what your parents may say about it. Sounds like you have a good skill set if you want to keep doing the real estate photography. Want to branch out on your own with it? You are right that lots of agents do poo poo photo work.

However you should stay in close communication with your wife about this, since she's also feeling restless in her current job and you guys are thinking kids. Maybe try not to change everything all at once, I'm thinking.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
You need to have a sit down conversation with them addressing these concerns. Family business can be a bitch, but it also can mean far more flexibility and freedom than 'normal' jobs.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

n8r posted:

You need to have a sit down conversation with them addressing these concerns. Family business can be a bitch, but it also can mean far more flexibility and freedom than 'normal' jobs.

Yeah, but I lose that perk because I have enough work to do as it is, and I'm the only one who can do this job. I've had a conversation with my dad recently where I basically said that I may be looking for other opportunities and he said he wouldn't stand in my way and wants me to be where I'm happier. This was part of a longer conversation that we needed to have regarding the shouting match we got into before and how I felt it was unresolved and there needed to be more calm, frank talking about it. The concerns typically fall on deaf ears; when I voice them, and even give possible solutions to them, they are shot down and reasons are given as to why I must keep doing x because we can't do y. In many ways those concerns and solutions have been directly related to their personalities and have, in not so many words, been part of an effort to improve how we do business and help them realize that they also have some shortcomings when it comes to the business that cause some of the problems we have.


slap me silly posted:

Yes, no, and sometimes. Anyway your entire feeldump post could be summarized as "I'm sick of being in business with my fam", and that's totally legit. It's not working for you, so find something else - that's 110% reasonable no matter what your parents may say about it. Sounds like you have a good skill set if you want to keep doing the real estate photography. Want to branch out on your own with it? You are right that lots of agents do poo poo photo work.

However you should stay in close communication with your wife about this, since she's also feeling restless in her current job and you guys are thinking kids. Maybe try not to change everything all at once, I'm thinking.

The only thing that makes me hesitant to leave are the connections I've built. Need something done? I know someone who can do it, and do it well, and who actually is a good businessperson to boot, so they won't just never return your call or try to gently caress you over. Moving, mortgage, roofing, foundation, etc. I also have built connections through our sellers, which basically indirectly gave my wife another job option when I overheard a seller talking on the phone while I was at her house doing photos and asked her if she was in consulting like my wife is. Turns out she was (I noticed that her phone conversation sounded much like my wife's conference calls and they talked about the same things, so I had a reasonable suspicion this woman was a consultant), and was a VP of one of her company's departments--and seemed super excited to know my wife could be interested in working for her company. A couple weeks later, they have a coffee appointment and the woman all but hires my wife. Now we are just waiting on her to get back on my wife's salary requirements (we had been concerned this company could not or would not pay my wife what she currently makes, which is essential for us, and the position into which they want to hire her might not be the type of job that pays what she's used to). So I'm of course sticking it out until we find out if she'll make that move, but if not, she has other options and I can wait. I make about 60k after taxes so it's not paltry, but I also couldn't leave for a whole lot less than I'm making now. We just know that we can't currently be working a combined 120-130 hours a week and actually be parents to our kids, so things need to change.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

life is killing me posted:

The concerns typically fall on deaf ears; when I voice them, and even give possible solutions to them, they are shot down and reasons are given as to why I must keep doing x because we can't do y. In many ways those concerns and solutions have been directly related to their personalities and have, in not so many words, been part of an effort to improve how we do business and help them realize that they also have some shortcomings when it comes to the business that cause some of the problems we have.

This ain't exactly unique to working for your family.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
It sounds like you've got some good stuff in place with the fact that you have been able to sit down and at least discuss things with your family. I think the most important thing is to accept that your Dad is still your boss, and he still gets to call the shots. Lots of time people don't really want to hear about 'ideas and concerns' about the way they run their business. We do stuff like planning meetings where we discuss those sorts of things, but on a day in day we focus primarily on just getting our jobs done. It sounds like with the photo related stuff, that you should work with your Dad on creating a process where he can be involved and you don't feel like you're being insulted or micromanaged.

I think more important than any of that stuff is you're just working too much. You need to set better boundaries about how much you are willing to work, and once again you need to sit down and have a clear understanding with your Dad about this.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

n8r posted:

It sounds like you've got some good stuff in place with the fact that you have been able to sit down and at least discuss things with your family. I think the most important thing is to accept that your Dad is still your boss, and he still gets to call the shots. Lots of time people don't really want to hear about 'ideas and concerns' about the way they run their business. We do stuff like planning meetings where we discuss those sorts of things, but on a day in day we focus primarily on just getting our jobs done. It sounds like with the photo related stuff, that you should work with your Dad on creating a process where he can be involved and you don't feel like you're being insulted or micromanaged.

I think more important than any of that stuff is you're just working too much. You need to set better boundaries about how much you are willing to work, and once again you need to sit down and have a clear understanding with your Dad about this.

I totally understand that he's my boss, it's just that I'd like someone else to be my boss, in that I don't want to work for him. Yes he gets to call the shots, but 99% of the time he's not paying attention to anything but his own stuff unless he gets involved by someone else. Literally the only reason he saw these photos is because I showed them to him. That's when he got sawed-off and said he wants them done how he wants them done. Otherwise, he is too busy to care. So I take issue with the fact that he gets to do that when he doesn't bother the rest of the time. We're in the business to please the client first and foremost.

What really gets me is that I do make efforts to improve what I'm doing, I'm constantly reading up on blogs and how-tos and posting on forums (like SA) to talk to other photographers and get tips on editing and framing, always trying to improve my photography because I truly do want it to be better than everyone else. I think our disagreement comes from the fact that he hasn't done photography in awhile and thus isn't trying new things to see what works and what doesn't--he's stuck in the mindset of what he knew when he was doing it, and that's how it has to be done. He doesn't listen to me in anything. He wants to get new computers but only when his computer becomes too slow to function, and if I try to show him how to clear out malware and junkware, he posits that he can get rid of all that with a piece of junkware called PCMatic. When I said I needed a new computer to do faster editing (the old one was literally too slow for me to edit and work at the pace HE set because it was well past its useful life), he didn't want to get a graphics card, all he wanted was more RAM than was reasonable, and which wouldn't affect anything graphical or photo editing-wise. I paid out of pocket for a graphics card in the end.

All of that aside, I'm making him out to be this terrible monster when he's not; I just don't think we're compatible in a work environment and that bleeds over into our personal relationship. One of my biggest gripes with him is that he makes things too complicated and drawn-out needlessly. Going on a trip? Let's put all the luggage on the top of the car and take like 45 minutes fastening it down with rope it took us an independent 30 minutes to find and tying a gordian knot, instead of using ratchet tie-downs and bungee cord and taking 15 minutes to do it. It's probably because I worked at a fast pace and had to solve problems a lot quicker in the military, which precluded thinking too hard about certain problems. I get (probably a little too easily) frustrated with the complication he adds to certain things. I like to do things right, but I don't like to do them slow. He's a perfectionist, which is probably why it's his way or the highway on just about everything; if he's not doing it, it's wrong, period.

As to working too much, I'm not sure how to stop. I set boundaries constantly. I have set a boundary on how much I'm willing to work or how late I'm willing to stay, but there is always more work to be done deadline now. So if I leave at 5 with more work I can reasonably do in a day left to do and that needed to be done that day, I'm just getting texts bitching at me for it not being done. When I successfully manage to get an area of work off my plate, something more demanding is put in its place. When I say this is more work than I can reasonably do and not stay until 11pm, I'm asked what else I have to do that would prevent me from finishing it all, and when I answer, I'm simply asked why I can't finish THAT. No answer is good enough for them, as they don't accept that they are overloading me with work and that's what is causing me to get behind.

life is killing me fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Dec 16, 2015

Droo
Jun 25, 2003

How much do they pay you, and how much could you make with a less annoying job elsewhere? Do you stand to inherit any kind of business ownership or whatever by staying on?

It seems like you should quantity this job compared to other things you could be doing as a first step, and then based on that decide if it is worth the extra annoyance of working for pushy family members instead of a more professional environment.

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe
It looks like you've given this a lot of consideration and it appears best that you get a job elsewhere. If you can reduce family conflict and feel better then do it. Even if you return to the family business at some point they'll probably realise how much work you did once you leave and appreciate you a bit more.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
You're describing lots of things people experience regardless of whether you're related to your boss or not. Lots of times, when someone hands off a job - like the photo editing - when they do step back in they feel the need to critique (often without much tact) the work being done. I've experienced this a number of times in my family business when it comes to the book design poo poo that we do. First and foremost, you have to stop taking these things personally. Additionally, come up with a way for him to review photos at a certain point so he isn't shooting down all your hard work. My mother would have nothing to do with a cover project, then at the last minute she'd see a proof, and call the whole thing crap. A lot of this is totally subjective, but she would act like her opinions were objectively correct. I quickly learned to send her early samples and let her give her input. Often times, people just want to feel like they are involved and their opinion is being heard.

You flat out need to start giving less of a gently caress. If this wasn't family, I would guarantee you'd just stop caring, and this whole thing would bother you less.

I would still contend the deadlines, working late, and other burnout stuff is more problematic. In my situation, we'd decide we really need to get a book out by a certain date. Deadlines can be good, but only when they are reasonable. I'm sure you do have some situations where you do have some stuff that needs to get done ASAP, but you might have lots of other ones that aren't reasonable. Just keep working on communication and having sit down adult conversations about these things and not getting into arguments.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

n8r posted:

You're describing lots of things people experience regardless of whether you're related to your boss or not. Lots of times, when someone hands off a job - like the photo editing - when they do step back in they feel the need to critique (often without much tact) the work being done. I've experienced this a number of times in my family business when it comes to the book design poo poo that we do. First and foremost, you have to stop taking these things personally. Additionally, come up with a way for him to review photos at a certain point so he isn't shooting down all your hard work. My mother would have nothing to do with a cover project, then at the last minute she'd see a proof, and call the whole thing crap. A lot of this is totally subjective, but she would act like her opinions were objectively correct. I quickly learned to send her early samples and let her give her input. Often times, people just want to feel like they are involved and their opinion is being heard.

You flat out need to start giving less of a gently caress. If this wasn't family, I would guarantee you'd just stop caring, and this whole thing would bother you less.

I would still contend the deadlines, working late, and other burnout stuff is more problematic. In my situation, we'd decide we really need to get a book out by a certain date. Deadlines can be good, but only when they are reasonable. I'm sure you do have some situations where you do have some stuff that needs to get done ASAP, but you might have lots of other ones that aren't reasonable. Just keep working on communication and having sit down adult conversations about these things and not getting into arguments.

I'm glad this isn't unique to my experience. Not because other people are going through it and schadenfruede, but because I was thinking this was abjectly lovely. I still want to find another job. I'd be able to care a lot less. I want to care just enough to do my job and do it well, go the extra mile when needed but not put it on myself to feel like I have to go the extra mile if everyone else isn't.

As far as my dad, if I asked him to critique everything I do, he'd say he doesn't have time. In reality, I'm not sure if he does or doesn't. He has his irons in a lot of fires to be sure, but much of the time I can catch him browsing Facebook and posting about his hardline Republican politics. Not that I don't do that to some degree, but if you say you don't have time to do something, let it not be because of Facebook? Also, to his credit, each home I photograph, from start of photography appointment to editing and finally to listing input (all of which I do) and print marketing and virtual tour, takes at least a day and a half worth of man-hours, and I can get listings up without print marketing or virtual tours to the tune of 4 each week, which is a lot. I really can't say that he has the time to look over each one of those, nor that he cares to be overly involved in what I'm doing unless he happens to see a photo I took he doesn't like. He just picks literally the worst times to bring poo poo up. I take it more personally than I should I admit, mostly because he's my dad and his timing on critiquing or getting involved in my job is terrible usually. It's almost always after I've completely finished everything and (gulp) made the clients more than satisfied with our customer service and photography. He lets his my-way-or-the-highway mentality get in the way of people doing their job, and is a micromanager but only when he actually cares to get involved.

Deadlines-wise: Some things are put on my plate without a deadline, but it's implied that they are important and I should be able to get to them within a reasonable time without dropping whatever I'm doing. That's no problem at all and I totally understand that dynamic. Any time I'm given something new, I ask how it should be prioritized and sometimes I get a straight, direct answer, and sometimes I don't. My only problem with any of this is, the listings, the things that drive our income, are always most important, with marketing our success via post cards and such following in second. But when most of my day (and week even) is filled with the things that are the most important, I rarely get the time to get to the stuff that's less important. Which would be fine, if I didn't eventually get behind on those less-important things and get bitched at because I was full up with photographing and listing input. I'm sure that that is also a thing which is unique to my situation or working with my parents, but it can get maddening.

My stepmom demands to proof sold postcards and pick the neighborhood streets to which they are sent, which is reasonable, but she's rarely here, and finished postcard proofs sit in the marketing website waiting to be looked at for at least a week usually. Then she'll come in asking if I ever did them, bitching at me if they haven't been sent out, apparently forgetting she told me not to send them unless she looks at them first. I really only can work on them while she's in the office to get them proofed and sent out, but since this is next to impossible, I feel I'll get bitched at either way. So I've started just sending them out without her input and picking entire neighborhoods so at least I can say that I sent them out when she asks, which I've decided is objectively better than saying I haven't.

Droo
Jun 25, 2003

life is killing me posted:

My stepmom demands to proof sold postcards and pick the neighborhood streets to which they are sent, which is reasonable, but she's rarely here, and finished postcard proofs sit in the marketing website waiting to be looked at for at least a week usually. Then she'll come in asking if I ever did them, bitching at me if they haven't been sent out, apparently forgetting she told me not to send them unless she looks at them first. I really only can work on them while she's in the office to get them proofed and sent out, but since this is next to impossible, I feel I'll get bitched at either way. So I've started just sending them out without her input and picking entire neighborhoods so at least I can say that I sent them out when she asks, which I've decided is objectively better than saying I haven't.

This is a good example of typical office people everywhere and you just have to learn to deal with them. In this case, I'd send her an email with the image attached and tell her that unless she has any comments, I will by sending it out on Tuesday at noon (or whatever date is about 24 hours away).

She might still complain about that but it's certainly not hard to win the argument at that point.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
Your Dad probably doesn't want to review every photo, but you should give him a chance to give some input at some point in the process. It's up to you to figure out how to do it in a way that makes him happy and doesn't drive you crazy. Perhaps after you select the photos, you should email him link to the gallery and say hey look at these and let me know if you're happy with them. You can come up with some sort of an arrangement on this stuff.

With regard to the listings, is there any particular reason that you have to hammer those out uber fast? I'd think once you have a client all signed up, it's not like the listing is going to go anywhere. Perhaps this is a mentality that goes back to a time when listings were easier to setup. It would be very reasonable to coach your clients on the fact that once they have sign up with you, that it will take 5-7 days to get the listing done. If you are distinguishing yourselves based upon the quality of the listings you create, which it sounds like you do, I'd guess that most people won't mind. If you have impatient clients, perhaps you could do 'quick' listings that show a single photo, and then go back and update it when the final work is done.

I'd guess that another reason you get pushed on the listing stuff is that when pressed, you do crank out a listing in a day. Anytime you work faster, people are going to start expecting it. Stick firm to whatever is a reasonable timeline for getting the listings up, give yourself a buffer. When someone asks for it faster, just say it can't happen. Start slow and taper off (a rule to live by).

Setup reminder emails for your stepmother once the proofs are ready. You can probably figure out some sort of a nag email that goes out to her everyday that there is a proof ready, or perhaps you need to start texting.

You're being far too reactive with regard to these issues, and I can guarantee you would encounter similar stuff at other jobs. Luckily for you, if you start sticking to reasonable deadlines and developing proactive approaches to solving issues, I'd guess your parents will fall in line.

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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

n8r posted:

Your Dad probably doesn't want to review every photo, but you should give him a chance to give some input at some point in the process. It's up to you to figure out how to do it in a way that makes him happy and doesn't drive you crazy. Perhaps after you select the photos, you should email him link to the gallery and say hey look at these and let me know if you're happy with them. You can come up with some sort of an arrangement on this stuff.

With regard to the listings, is there any particular reason that you have to hammer those out uber fast? I'd think once you have a client all signed up, it's not like the listing is going to go anywhere. Perhaps this is a mentality that goes back to a time when listings were easier to setup. It would be very reasonable to coach your clients on the fact that once they have sign up with you, that it will take 5-7 days to get the listing done. If you are distinguishing yourselves based upon the quality of the listings you create, which it sounds like you do, I'd guess that most people won't mind. If you have impatient clients, perhaps you could do 'quick' listings that show a single photo, and then go back and update it when the final work is done.

I'd guess that another reason you get pushed on the listing stuff is that when pressed, you do crank out a listing in a day. Anytime you work faster, people are going to start expecting it. Stick firm to whatever is a reasonable timeline for getting the listings up, give yourself a buffer. When someone asks for it faster, just say it can't happen. Start slow and taper off (a rule to live by).

Setup reminder emails for your stepmother once the proofs are ready. You can probably figure out some sort of a nag email that goes out to her everyday that there is a proof ready, or perhaps you need to start texting.

You're being far too reactive with regard to these issues, and I can guarantee you would encounter similar stuff at other jobs. Luckily for you, if you start sticking to reasonable deadlines and developing proactive approaches to solving issues, I'd guess your parents will fall in line.

Re: listings, most of the pressure is coming from her to do them quickly. The rest is due to the board of realtors here who govern our actions to some degree outside of the state laws, sometimes more strict than state laws (which is a big reason the board here is not particularly well-liked). So if we have a listing agreement signed today, for instance, we have three days from signature (starting the next day) to do the photos and get the listing up. If it's later than that, we really have to send amendment paperwork for the seller to sign. We need it to be correct so buyers don't come in with expectations that they are being conveyed something the seller doesn't wish to convey, such as mineral rights. In the past, rarely, we have indeed put listings up with one photo, but under no circumstances will we not have any photos at all lest a seller allege we aren't doing enough to market and sell their house. Really just cheap, vacant listings that look like dogshit inside or foreclosures get the one-photo treatment. We do have a good reputation and we'd like to keep it, which I imagine is why things are promised for me to sellers. There are certain things we promise sellers we will do and those things are largely part of my duties. The thing is, sometimes poo poo gets over-promised on my behalf, or my stepmother promises sellers a time line that is unreasonable for my work load that week, like it will take longer than she promised. I've asked her to tell sellers it takes 3-5 days from the time I take the photos to the day the listing goes online, and she has done that. Sellers usually ask me when I'm at their house when the listing will be live, and I usually answer with a no-later-than date rather than a definitive day and time, and that is usually based on how much work I've got that week.

The biggest reason, to expound on the above, that I need to bang out these listings: with the market the way it is (totally favors sellers right now in my area), the quicker I get the listing online the quicker it sells. She wants to sell these houses quickly, but you can't sell a house if it's not listed online per the agreement, given that the governing board requires the house be listed online for it to be technically available. There are legal ways to skirt some of the requirements of the board, because they don't require us to send them listing paperwork, and thus are unlikely to notice that the listing date online is not the same as on the agreement, for instance. They will only know if I set an earlier date on the online listing than the actual day I made it live. At any rate, so many variables come into play that I can't control them all.

I have been somewhat successful on some of the boundaries I've set, less successful with others. High-producing real estate agents are trained to smash through boundaries, which it the exact thing that makes it difficult for me to set them...they are subconsciously searching for ways around them or reasons those boundaries are not valid, so it really is a constant struggle to keep them in place.

Perhaps I am being too reactionary. Proactivity is something that doesn't fly here all the time when it comes to making my job a little bit easier, but I do get appreciation from them when they give me a task and I run with it.

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