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So as further proof that movie critics love the smell of their own farts, I finally watched Birdman. Now, credit where it's due: The style of the film was pretty cool and the faked one-take concept was good. It had some good moments and it wasn't the WORST film I've ever seen in my life that also indeed, had some good acting. So I do mean overrated bullshit and not "steaming pile of poo poo" bullshit. That said, holy poo poo, I've come to the conclusion all you have to do to win awards is: A) Be sappy about someone with a feel-good version of their life story that's full of lies and boredom (Theory of Everything) or B) Confuse the gently caress out of people so they don't realize your movie plot sucks and none of the plots have any resolution. About halfway into the movie, they utterly drop half the plots in the film and by the end, nearly all of them are completely rendered moot and pointless. Do you know what people say when plots get dropped, are pointless, or make less than zero since in a Transformers movie? They say it's bad writing, it's bullshit, and movies suck. Why do art house movies get a pass? I don't think they do but I think critics are too arrogant to say they don't understand something so try desperately to find meaning in plot holes if the film is being indie-as-gently caress; they proclaim things genius because they hit plot holes and don't want to look stupid for saying they don't understand something, so try to claim each hole is a genius detail with meaning behind it. I finally watched Nightcrawler shortly after and, holy poo poo, it was actually a complete movie with a unique concept and actually has a beginning, middle and end. Is that why it didn't win all the awards? Because it was too coherent, had some points, and actually knew what it wanted to do as a satire? That it didn't leave a dozen stories twisting in the wind at random in the middle? That it didn't try to confuse the gently caress out of anyone? I guess long story short of this rant is you too can win all the awards if you act like you're a genius and wrap your utterly incomplete script in some neat gimmicks and decent acting. PS: Also you don't need to be a REAL indie movie; you can have a 22 million dollar budget, totally, if you buy some cheap cameras and skimp out on production costs. The critics will love you. ED: If you can't guess I also think Theory of Everything was a streaming pile of bullshit trying to shove a pretty dark history into a feel-good inspirational piece for awards to lap up, it was as transparent as glass. But if you admit that you admit the Emperor has No Clothes I guess.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:06
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didn't read; birdman was great
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Dec 20, 2015 14:08
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Birdman's awesome and you're a loving moron
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Dec 20, 2015 14:10
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cram me sideways posted:didn't read; birdman was great It has great style but no substance. At all. It was even shallower than a Michael Bay production at it's core, but with better actors. Pointless characters and plot lines and a recycled on-stage suicide attempt (hey, worked for a few other critically acclaimed movies) is the art house version of getting a hot girl to wash a car to sell to the masses, except it's to sell to awards people and not dumb teenagers but it's just as pandering. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Dec 20, 2015 |
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Dec 20, 2015 14:10
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op is right birdman sucked. better off watching paint dry.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:11
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What a bitch rear end way to try to take down a movie. Birdman has plenty of substance. You probably also hated Whiplash you dumb poo poo
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Dec 20, 2015 14:11
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What a dumb motherfucker
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Dec 20, 2015 14:12
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Wow, a "Birdman Sucks" thread. Great concept for a thread. No one has ever made a thread exactly like this.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:12
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Blazing Ownager posted:Why do art house movies get a pass? I don't think they do but I think critics are too arrogant to say they don't understand something so try desperately to find meaning in plot holes if the film is being indie-as-gently caress i'm not sure what you think you are talking about but there was nothing remotely "indie" or "art house" about birdman
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Dec 20, 2015 14:13
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OP try again but do it without ending any sentences or using any periods
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Dec 20, 2015 14:14
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Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law has been completely buried by time 
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Dec 20, 2015 14:15
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Earwicker posted:i'm not sure what you think you are talking about but there was nothing remotely "indie" or "art house" about birdman Oh, it pretended to be, it pretended to be so hard. It was repeatedly screened and promoted as an indie film. They even tried to justify the budget as "necessary for our special effects," and tried to frame it like a studio "rescued" an indie movie. Because if it was an actual studio movie and wearing that label it'd probably only gotten some acting nods and that's it. But you're right, there was nothing remotely indie about it.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:16
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I'm pretty sure this is like the fourth thread I've seen on this topic
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Dec 20, 2015 14:16
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I think the studio felt the movie sucked, as they advertised it as a comedy, hoping to draw unsuspecting viewers in. The movie was good, but it had about 30 seconds of "comedy" in the entire thing.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:17
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Blazing Ownager posted:Oh, it pretended to be, it pretended to be so hard. It was repeatedly screened and promoted as an indie film. huh? it was promoted as a quirky comedy about the movie business. it was never promoted as an "indie film" its from New Regency and there was never any effort to hide that.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:19
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This is a sad, pathetic thread. Here we watch someone try incredibly hard. They try so hard and think so hard. How can I ruin this good movie Uuuuuuuuuuh God you are loving stupid and no one agrees with you. You might as well have not made this thread at all. You are inconsequential in time immemorial. gently caress you
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Dec 20, 2015 14:19
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whats your opinion on the new star wars OP?
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Dec 20, 2015 14:29
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gigawhite posted:God you are loving stupid and no one agrees with you. I agreed with him. I did not enjoy this movie.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:29
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I felt bored overall with Birdman. Whiplash and Nightcrawler were much more engaging, but I guess they were more traditionally told and shot, so they didn't win. I agree with you, OP. Thanks.
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Dec 20, 2015 14:34
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I enjoyed Birdman more when he was with the Big Tymers. Harvey Birdman is p cool too.
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Dec 20, 2015 15:10
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www posted:whats your opinion on the new star wars OP? Im sure he loved it do you even really have to ask?
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Dec 20, 2015 15:24
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gigawhite posted:This is a sad, pathetic thread. Here we watch someone try incredibly hard. They try so hard and think so hard. How can I ruin this good movie Uuuuuuuuuuh i was gonna say something but this post is better
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Dec 20, 2015 15:40
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Dec 20, 2015 15:42
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birp
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Dec 20, 2015 15:45
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mdm posted:I'm pretty sure this is like the fourth thread I've seen on this topic yeah! stop making these these kind of threads and give us more threads whining about sjws!
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Dec 20, 2015 15:57
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Who cares, Crash is actually the worst movie to win best picture.
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Dec 20, 2015 15:59
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FogHelmut posted:Who cares, Crash is actually the worst movie to win best picture. Most of the "best picture" movies are poo poo. American Beauty? No Country For Old Men? Titanic? You have to go all the way to 1991 to find an actual good movie that won the award.
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Dec 20, 2015 16:02
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he has some decent songs
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Dec 20, 2015 16:03
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I saw this movie high. Not recommended. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIkHMGxyN34
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Dec 20, 2015 16:07
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lol who the gently caress still watches awards shows
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Dec 20, 2015 16:07
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i kinda liked birdman
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Dec 20, 2015 16:08
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BigBoss posted:No Country For Old Men whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. whoa. settle down beavis
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Dec 20, 2015 16:08
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fethers
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Dec 20, 2015 16:10
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I enjoyed Birdman and it's worth watching esp while baked, but OP is also totally right e: gigawhite posted:This is a sad, pathetic thread. Here we watch someone try incredibly hard. They try so hard and think so hard. How can I ruin this good movie Uuuuuuuuuuh
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Dec 20, 2015 16:12
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nachos rule!
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Dec 20, 2015 16:15
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anyway thats enough from lil ol me. i didnt read any of this thread and i hope everyone gets aids edit: happy holidays
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Dec 20, 2015 16:16
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Yeah I guessed as much so I avoided it. It's probably smarmy faux-intellectual bullshit for millenial hipstrs.
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Dec 20, 2015 16:30
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here's a cool idea, don't watch movies that never get released outside of LA and New York
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Dec 20, 2015 16:35
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A misanthrope posted:yeah! stop making these these kind of threads and give us more threads whining about sjws! I wasn't a fan of Birdman's feminist undertones
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Dec 20, 2015 16:36
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mike12345 posted:Yeah I guessed as much so I avoided it. It's probably smarmy faux-intellectual bullshit for millenial hipstrs. This makes you a hipster.
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Dec 20, 2015 16:47
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