You will be visited by three computers.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > You will be visited by three computers.

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angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

your greedy computer deeds have finally caught up with you and now your last chance is to heed the warnings of the three computers

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 11:34

pram: Jun 10, 2001

a man shows up to your door with THREE computers.. each of which will show you a harrowing glimpse into your past, present, and future. do you accept his offer?

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:26

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

dont forget the ghost of christmas past

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:27

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

the ibm pc jr appears on your desk and gradually displays a series of 4 color 640x200 images that show you as a youth, happy and innocent, before you learned to copy that floppy.

the next image series is hard to make out, but it seems to show your girlfriend leaving you when you chose to fiddle with irq settings to get a pirated copy of wolfenstein running instead of going to a christmas party

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:01

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

pram posted:

a man shows up to your door with THREE computers.. each of which will show you a harrowing glimpse into your past, present, and future. do you accept his offer?

yeas

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:07

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

ok we have computer 1 computer 2, and computer 4... wait a dang minute!!

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:09

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

imagine four computers on the edge of a cliff. ghosts work the same way

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:40

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost :xd:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:44

pram: Jun 10, 2001

qirex posted:

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:44

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

qirex posted:

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:45

Peanut and the Gang: Aug 24, 2009; by exmarx

qirex posted:

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:46

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

The Sun, the Ghost, and the Holy Circuit

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:55

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

qirex posted:

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost

# ? Dec 24, 2015 22:18

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

qirex posted:

the 0th ghost, the 1st ghost and the 10th ghost

Nice!

# ? Dec 24, 2015 23:13

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

# ? Dec 25, 2015 01:08

obstipator: Nov 8, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

angry_keebler posted:

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

gently caress! :wth:

!!!!

# ? Dec 25, 2015 01:10

pram: Jun 10, 2001

angry_keebler posted:

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

lol

# ? Dec 25, 2015 02:03

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore� While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. ��Tis some visitor,� I muttered, �tapping at my chamber door� definately not linux lol linux has no sound�

# ? Dec 25, 2015 03:06

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

angry_keebler posted:

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

# ? Dec 25, 2015 03:09

Gazpacho: Jun 18, 2004; by Fluffdaddy; Slippery Tilde

"Are these simulations of the things that will be, or are they simulations of things that may be only? Algorithms will enable certain code paths which, if perservered in, must hang, but if the algorithm be debugged, the program will terminate. Say it is thus!"

The computer was as Turing-complete as ever.

# ? Dec 25, 2015 04:45

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

angry_keebler posted:

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

# ? Dec 25, 2015 06:50

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

angry_keebler posted:

startled, you sit down to enjoy some pirated games on your ps4 but wait a second, that's right, the ps4 is a computer too.

instead of booting up your ps4 makes a fairly spooky sound and then shows your neighbor's crippled kid crying and your neighbor (who's also your employee somehow? whatever) under his sink making dad noises because he can't afford a computer to search for local plumbers with a good angie's list score so he's too busy to go chritmas shopping for new crutches for his crybaby son

suddenly the view switches to a storm sewer and inside you can see hideo kojima frozen solid with a sad smile on his face. if only you hadn't pirated the phantom pain!

🍞

# ? Dec 25, 2015 06:53

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Silver Alicorn posted:

🍞

does angry keebler have his own emoticone now

# ? Dec 25, 2015 10:10

Video Nasty: Jun 17, 2003

angry_keebler posted:

your greedy computer deeds have finally caught up with you and now your last chance is to heed the warnings of the three computers

Abort, Retry & Fail

# ? Dec 25, 2015 10:27

qntm: Jun 17, 2009

today? why sir, it's 0day

# ? Dec 25, 2015 16:25

Satellit3: Oct 21, 2008

Silver Alicorn posted:

🍞

haha loafmarf

# ? Dec 25, 2015 16:31

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

Barnyard Protein posted:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— definately not linux lol linux has no sound”

# ? Dec 25, 2015 16:33

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

angry_keebler posted:

the ibm pc jr appears on your desk and gradually displays a series of 4 color 640x200 images that show you as a youth, happy and innocent, before you learned to copy that floppy.

the next image series is hard to make out, but it seems to show your girlfriend leaving you when you chose to fiddle with irq settings to get a pirated copy of wolfenstein running instead of going to a christmas party

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8PelLIWD-E

# ? Dec 25, 2015 16:35

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

angry_keebler posted:

a fairly spooky sound

Barnyard Protein posted:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— definately not linux lol linux has no sound”

qntm posted:

today? why sir, it's 0day

# ? Dec 25, 2015 16:42

immolationsex: Sep 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW I ENJOY RUINING STEAK LIKE A GODDAMN BARBARIAN

im the ghost of Christmas future,sufficiently advanced to be indistinguisthable from God. If you don't do everything in your power to bring about my existence, I'll make infinite simulations of you in my magnetic tapes and torturey ou forever
Bayesianisn says you'd better do as I say. :2spooky4u:

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:12

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

you will be visited by three pandas.

they will eat all your fruits.

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:19

Cat Face Joe: Feb 20, 2005; goth vegan crossfit mom who vapes

Silver Alicorn posted:

you will be visited by three pandas.

they will eat all your fruits.

will i at least learn an important lesson?

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:21

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

you will learn the importance of conserving our planet's endangered species

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:22

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

you yank the power strip from the wall to kill the ps4, and as the screen goes black an ominous knocking begins to reverberate through your house. like a man possessed you storm down the hallway trying to find the source of the maddening knell.

with a sudden sinking feeling you realize the sound is coming from your computer room. as you crack open the door you see your monster gaming rig is gone, replaced by an oculus rift plugged in to a black laptop with a skull decal on the back covering up the glowing alienware logo

you slip on the headset and are transported to a vision of the future. your neighbor is laying dead in a pile plumbing tools and his cripple kid is ululating before he touches off a suicide bomb hidden in his very futuristic hover wheelchair. it turns out those fbi warnings you ignored were right all along; downloading a copy of ant-man was all the terrorists needed to recruit a sad neglected kid and turn him into the ultimate terror weapon.

the view dissolves and with a lurching motion that nearly makes you puke. you're transported to a dreary graveside service. two figures holding glowing umbrellas and wearing bright pastel metallic jumpsuits are crying next to a robot wearing a priest's paper collar. overcoming the nausea you realize it's your kid brother and his wife, only they look like they've aged 60 years. a sudden flash from the overcast sky shows the headstone in stark contrast

and oh no, they're burying you! that's right! if you don't fix your lowdown ways then on christmas day, 2072, you're going to die

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:31

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

angry_keebler posted:

you yank the power strip from the wall to kill the ps4, and as the screen goes black an ominous knocking begins to reverberate through your house. like a man possessed you storm down the hallway trying to find the source of the maddening knell.

with a sudden sinking feeling you realize the sound is coming from your computer room. as you crack open the door you see your monster gaming rig is gone, replaced by an oculus rift plugged in to a black laptop with a skull decal on the back covering up the glowing alienware logo

you slip on the headset and are transported to a vision of the future. your neighbor is laying dead in a pile plumbing tools and his cripple kid is ululating before he touches off a suicide bomb hidden in his very futuristic hover wheelchair. it turns out those fbi warnings you ignored were right all along; downloading a copy of ant-man was all the terrorists needed to recruit a sad neglected kid and turn him into the ultimate terror weapon.

the view dissolves and with a lurching motion that nearly makes you puke. you're transported to a dreary graveside service. two figures holding glowing umbrellas and wearing bright pastel metallic jumpsuits are crying next to a robot wearing a priest's paper collar. overcoming the nausea you realize it's your kid brother and his wife, only they look like they've aged 60 years. a sudden flash from the overcast sky shows the headstone in stark contrast

and oh no, they're burying you! that's right! if you don't fix your lowdown ways then on christmas day, 2072, you're going to die

lmbo

# ? Dec 25, 2015 18:53

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

there are FOUR computers

# ? Dec 25, 2015 20:45

angry_keebler: Jul 16, 2006; In His presence the mountains quake and the hills melt away; the earth trembles and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before His fierce anger?

bumping in honor of computer christmas, in july

# ? Jul 20, 2016 18:56