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Start telling him about our dark family secret about how we've been hunted down for centuries by a cult out to end our bloodline. I apologize to him for bringing him into this world, knowing that, but he's old enough to know that he is the last of us and eventually he'll face the burden of avoiding and/or fighting The Fire Society and their army of assassins which secretly are trying to dominate all of mankind. If I should ever disappear, it's up to him to find the secret lost knowledge that is destined for him to rediscover, that will bring about a new golden age for humanity. Then if he doesn't ship up and start getting into shape or focusing on school, I'll just walk out the door and make it look like the Fire Society has found us.
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Dec 24, 2015 23:34
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Take his anime and videogames and internet away from him Now what are you gonna do NERD
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Dec 24, 2015 23:36
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My kid will be a buff ladies man who looks at me with disgust while i play nethack
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Dec 24, 2015 23:44
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Build a hidden room in your sub-basement filled with MREs, exercise equipment, a book on Kung Fu, and a letter telling him the bombs are dropping and he must teach himself the ways of the Fist of the American Star to survive once he emerges in 6 years. Throw him in and lock him up.
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Dec 24, 2015 23:50
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idiot, it won't happen because I won't vaccinate my kid like a dumpass
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Dec 24, 2015 23:59
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start spanking the moment he mentions minecraft
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Dec 25, 2015 00:07
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Son nerd. so what?
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Dec 25, 2015 00:09
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Beat his rear end til he does right. *sticks a pinch of snuff into cheek*  
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Dec 25, 2015 00:12
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I would be proud of him
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Dec 25, 2015 00:16
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:the tests come back negative. what do you do now Love is spelt T I M E. Show some love and your influence should grow. Also, check the house for lead.
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Dec 25, 2015 05:00
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ill blame it on memes and call it a day. parenting is for suckers
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Dec 25, 2015 05:20
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or ill just ip blacklist a bunch of usual suspects like reddit.com, battle.net, steam, etc. at the router-level in our home
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Dec 25, 2015 05:20
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Show him all of Jon Pop's posts and then ask him if he wants to end up like this when he grows up
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Dec 25, 2015 06:05
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LOL. I was gonna just post this. https://youtu.be/cpjQzi6v2Hk But there is this amazing comment. "I'm 12 and I know this ;~; I know it because of my dad though. He made we watch it." It's beautiful. This kid's dad is loving amazing. Don't worry about the insinuations of pedophilia. He's not a mod here. We're safe.
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Dec 25, 2015 06:07
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i take him to the vet and have him put down
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Dec 25, 2015 06:37
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MiracleWhale posted:i take him to the vet and have him put down I wish my parents had done that for me when I turned into an idiot nerd
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Dec 25, 2015 06:45
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tell him he;s gay, its the only way for him to be some body.
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Dec 25, 2015 06:48
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nerd jobs are like the only ones that make money besides whoring anymore so congrats i guess?
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Dec 25, 2015 06:51
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Wintermutant posted:Tell your dad to post his own threads, OP
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Dec 25, 2015 06:52
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:Imagine you have a son that's like 12 years old and you can tell he's turning into a huge idiot nerd with no social skills. Obviousily the failure would be you gave your son a smart device before the age of 17/18. Kid doesn't need a phone ipad or any of that poo poo before hes 18. Only phone he needs is a blue nokia. First correction sever technology.
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Dec 25, 2015 06:52
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i'd suck his dick op
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Dec 25, 2015 06:53
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Otto Von Jizzmark posted:Rape him. Nothing straraightens youth better than a little incestuous rape. Next time he goes to watch star trek voyager put on a Neelix mask and rape again. Problem solved yeah combine with a bell and/or a shock collar and u can basically train ur boy just like a lil doggie. but of course, while effective, this should only be done in the most extreme of circumstances and may also be against the law (like spanking or genital mutilation) depending on where you live.
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Dec 25, 2015 06:55
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Force him to play organized sports Worked for me
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Dec 25, 2015 06:57
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Mariana Horchata posted:yeah combine with a bell and/or a shock collar and u can basically train ur boy just like a lil doggie. but of course, while effective, this should only be done in the most extreme of circumstances and may also be against the law (like spanking or genital mutilation) depending on where you live. I'd prefer a catboy. HTH
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Dec 25, 2015 07:00
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Aralan posted:I wish my parents had done that for me when I turned into an idiot nerd same
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Dec 25, 2015 07:37
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Otto Von Jizzmark posted:Rape him. Nothing straraightens youth better than a little incestuous rape. Next time he goes to watch star trek voyager put on a Neelix mask and rape again. Problem solved "IT'S LEOLA ROOT TIME AGAIN!!!" "no, dad, no!"
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Dec 25, 2015 08:49
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Waroduce posted:Force him to play organized sports Yeah this, or maybe buy the kid a skateboard/weed
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Dec 25, 2015 09:41
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yeah buy your son drugs and force him to use them get him hooked real good
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Dec 25, 2015 10:11
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Zzulu posted:yeah buy your son drugs and force him to use them this can often backfire though and u can end up with an idiotic nerd virgin stoner (that only wears cargo pants/shorts and/or t-shirts from woot)...you have been warned 
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Dec 25, 2015 10:16
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Same as my last two families. I "go out for cigarettes" and never look back.
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Dec 25, 2015 10:20
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afeelgoodpoop posted:nerd jobs are like the only ones that make money besides whoring anymore so congrats i guess? Teach your son to whore
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Dec 25, 2015 10:25
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Frankenstyle posted:Same as my last two families. I "go out for cigarettes" and never look back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQSn26zCXYQ
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Dec 25, 2015 10:29
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Frankenstyle posted:Same as my last two families. I "go out for cigarettes" and never look back. same but my wife is jonesin and i tell her i'm goin out for a dub sack of brown and a sparks
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Dec 25, 2015 10:30
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i realize with terror that after i used that time machine to go back in time i accidentally ended up marrying and impregnating my own mom, who gave birth to me
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Dec 25, 2015 10:41
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what I'm trying to say is that time travel incest causes autism and someone should do something
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Dec 25, 2015 10:41
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ban time travel imo
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Dec 25, 2015 10:42
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Waroduce posted:Force him to play organized sports I get it
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Dec 25, 2015 11:21
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Get him a guitar or another instrument Get him a decent pc, photoshop, illustrator, 3ds max, etc If he's going to be an idiot nerd at least he can be an idiot nerd with skills. Those usually do well later in life
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Dec 25, 2015 11:35
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I'm more afraid of having a well adjusted child. I don't get normal people.
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Dec 25, 2015 11:45
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Tell him he can either go to college or get a sex change, but I won't pay for both.
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Dec 25, 2015 14:33
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