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Ringo Star Get
Sep 18, 2006

JUST FUCKING TAKE OFF ALREADY, SHIT
I got one a few months ago and have been using it a lot. What is a Squatty Potty? Heres a helpful video:

https://youtu.be/YbYWhdLO43Q

And a quick product description for those that can't watch the video:

quote:

Made in the USA! The Squatty Potty is a wonderful health aid for the entire family. The Squatty Potty helps you to eliminate faster and more complete by putting your body into a natural squatting position over your own toilet. Using the Squatty Potty during elimination will un-kink your rectum taking your body from a continent mode to an elimination mode. This will speed up the elimination process therefore reducing the risk of toxic build up of fecal matter left in your colon

I'll get some Q's answered right away to save time:

Does it really work?
Yes! It made my dumps quicker and easier, it's honestly night and day.

Do you use it all the time?
Honestly sometimes I forget it's there because it tucks away neatly under the toilet so there's been times where I do the deed and go "whoops!"

Do pee sitting down now?
No, I still stand. I wouldn't sit down to pee to just use the Squatty Potty, it'd just waste time.

Have you noticed any drawbacks?
I hurt my knee and for a few days using the Squatty Potty wasn't easy. another draw back is that it can be a tripping hazard.

Can fat goons use this?
I don't see why not, it'll probably help a lot. I'm about 200lbs and it wasn't a problem to use it. A larger friend of mine tried it (300lb rugby player) and said it was a bit awkward but after some practice he didn't have any troubles.

Are there any downsides?
Obviously if you have any leg injuries it is going to be difficult. Its also going to take some time getting used to it too. I recommend using it every other time to ease yourself into it, and set aside times when you have to go, that you won't be rushed.

Will I get made fun of for using this?
Yes, but generally after some time, people will get intrigued and when they come over to visit, will try it anyways. My pregnant friend gave it a shot and now their home has one for each bathroom. Apparently it's great for pregnant people.

Hope this is a good starter, ask away. I am not a paid employee of the Squatty Potty Corporation or related to any employees.

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Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001
Mods change my name to Un-kink your rectum please thanks

Not_Rainbow_Horse
Nov 11, 2013

Aralan posted:

Mods change my name to Un-kink your rectum please thanks

ho ho another amazing dg,sw post

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
ive started using a squatty potty when i poop on ur moms chest OP

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx
I can't support anything that was on shark tank

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
Do you do squats at other points in the day OP not just while making GBS threads?

That also helps for taking big dumps and giving you luscious thighs

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

i make it a point of principal to never tell another man how to poo poo

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Noblesse Obliged posted:

i make it a point of principal to never tell another man how to poo poo

you should poo poo like I do ....... with your butt

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

lol if your feces aren't constantly compacted deeper into you by another man's penis

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Nooner posted:

you should poo poo like I do ....... with your butt

i prefer to do it with my keyboard thanks

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Blue Train posted:

lol if your feces aren't constantly compacted deeper into you by another man's penis

Eat some fiber dude.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

Eat some fiber dude.

I only eat cum

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Blue Train posted:

lol if your feces aren't constantly compacted deeper into you by another man's penis

lol if your feces and urine are not recycled into 100% efficient energy to allow you to do more things

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Blue Train posted:

I only eat cum

Well have your boyfriend eat more fiber then, dummy.

HollywoodDialysis
Jan 19, 2005

not doing nothing
Grimey Drawer
Got one for Christmas, works well for the poop but now I get this feeling of incompleteness afterwards w/r/t to the pee.

plape tickler
Oct 21, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
There has been a lot of blood on my toilet paper lately. I'm kind of concerned

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

plape tickler posted:

There has been a lot of blood on my toilet paper lately. I'm kind of concerned

same :ohdear:

Not that it hurts or anything but i do not like my blood going to waste in the sewers it should be inside somebody else after I get stuck with a needle and eat a bunch of doughnuts

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

OP posted:

Toxic build up of fecal matter left in your colon

Why do people believe that is a thing? There's this obnoxious radio ad lately promising to make you lose 'pounds and pounds' of 'toxic junk' jamming up your plumbing.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
op why can't u afford a real toilet

Gibberish
Sep 17, 2002

by R. Guyovich
Finally something that nihonjin quantifiably got right, Baka gaijin

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

tactlessbastard posted:

Why do people believe that is a thing? There's this obnoxious radio ad lately promising to make you lose 'pounds and pounds' of 'toxic junk' jamming up your plumbing.

people are idiots and truth in advertising doesn't matter anymore so here we are

just like the vitamix blender commercials or whatever saying they extract more nutrients than just eating the foods alone!

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



I just want someone to drop a hot steaming load of pineapple splatter on my moobs

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
Lol. Buy this product to poop like everyone in the developing world.

Ringo Star Get
Sep 18, 2006

JUST FUCKING TAKE OFF ALREADY, SHIT
In response for some Qs:

Squats are my favorite workout because I believe that's the path to immortality and great butts and thighs.

As for not having a good toilet, a lot of toilets for me are uncomfortable. Either the seat is too small and my balls and dick are jammed up, or it's too big and I have to be careful not to fall in.

I like telling others about proper pooping because it's a blight on our community.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
Couple quick questions op. Very interested.
1. Suitable for outdoor use?
2. Warranty?
3. Money back guarantee?
4. Bears a big problem with these if used in bear country?

Thanks you.

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Ringo Star Get posted:

I got one a few months ago and have been using it a lot. What is a Squatty Potty? Heres a helpful video:

https://youtu.be/YbYWhdLO43Q

i wasn't sure that Howard Stern pooped until now

Gibberish
Sep 17, 2002

by R. Guyovich
Can't you just push off the bathroom floor with the balls of your feet for the same effect?

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
how much did you spend for a piece of plastic you put your feet on op

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!
Is there an invention where I can poo poo rainbows like that unicorn?

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LueN4W5fzdw

Ringo Star Get
Sep 18, 2006

JUST FUCKING TAKE OFF ALREADY, SHIT

King of Bees posted:

Couple quick questions op. Very interested.
1. Suitable for outdoor use?
2. Warranty?
3. Money back guarantee?
4. Bears a big problem with these if used in bear country?

Thanks you.

1. Yes
2. 60-day guarantee if you're not happy with it
3. Yes, if returned within 60 days of not being happy
4. Bears tend to gravitate to squatting devices, be careful out doors.


What did I pay for it? I got it for free as a gift. It's 25 dollars which I think is too much. You can make your own if you're inclined, but if you're lazy and incompetent, buying might be the safest bet.

Jalumibnkrayal
Apr 16, 2008

Ramrod XTreme
Just ordered one, thanks OP. I will probably use it twice, hide it in a closet when company comes over, and forget all about it.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



If your rear end is still on the seat, it doesn't seem much of a squat. It should be another foot higher and force you to do a real squat while you poo poo.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

Jalumibnkrayal posted:

Just ordered one, thanks OP. I will probably use it twice, hide it in a closet when company comes over, and forget all about it.

like a fleshlight basically

complete eliminations are something to be extremely proud of and promote (even on social media, kinda like ppl detail posting about their mammograms), not to be shameful for and hide from ur in-laws...they could prob benefit it and prob already know about it from watching Shark Tank on Friday nights.

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo
Jesusfuckingwhat, bend your trunk forward while you are pooping on the john. It does the exact same thing without having to buy yet another product to solve a manufactured problem.

I bet you stand when you pee and don't know how to use the three seashells.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

osirisisdead posted:

Jesusfuckingwhat, bend your trunk forward while you are pooping on the john. It does the exact same thing without having to buy yet another product to solve a manufactured problem.

I bet you stand when you pee and don't know how to use the three seashells.

what it doesnt do unfortunately is give u that special feeling on communion when u do one of humankinds most basic acts in the same manner and setting as our ancestors (home sapiens) did 2+ million years ago. nothing like making GBS threads in the woods friend.

prob exactly why having sexual intercourse in the woods is also very special compared to inside in a bedroom.

Don't be afraid to give into ur primal urges...hell doing so is nearly a requirement to living in 2015 and maintaining ur sanity and a clean, unfettered mind and soul.

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Dec 27, 2015

A Stupid Baby
Dec 31, 2002

lip up fatty
save money and make your own squatty potty at home using literally any object thats about a foot and a half tall

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
op toilet drains don't generally have a trap, what are u doing to prevent disgusting back gasses into your shithole

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo

Mariana Horchata posted:

what it doesnt do unfortunately is give u that special feeling on communion when u do one of humankinds most basic acts in the same manner and setting as our ancestors (home sapiens) did 2+ million years ago. nothing like making GBS threads in the woods friend.

prob exactly why having sexual intercourse in the woods is also very special compared to inside in a bedroom.

Don't be afraid to give into ur primal urges...hell doing so is nearly a requirement to living in 2015 and maintaining ur sanity and a clean, unfettered mind and soul.

I've done each more than once, though never concurrently.

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Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

osirisisdead posted:

Jesusfuckingwhat, bend your trunk forward while you are pooping on the john. It does the exact same thing without having to buy yet another product to solve a manufactured problem.

I bet you stand when you pee and don't know how to use the three seashells.

lol if you dont pee by lying flat on your back and pissing into your own mouth

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