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Snatch Duster
Feb 20, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

osirisisdead posted:

^^^You are engaging in sexytimes with the wrong women.^^^


No. Not even goddamn close, but it doesn't have the same consequences.

You can use a vib with a partner too, you loving moron.

you loving idiot. you only like hand jobs because you and your jar heads raped a woman iraq and you were left with her hand.

it is the act of rape that got you off, not the hand job you loving piece of poo poo

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Novo
May 13, 2003

Stercorem pro cerebro habes
Soiled Meat

WatermelonGun posted:

y'all need church

church is for dimwits

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo

Novo posted:

church is for dimwits

Been there, done that, wearing a "The Dungeon" t-shirt. Eat my rear end.

Snatch Duster posted:

you loving idiot. you only like hand jobs because you and your jar heads raped a woman iraq and you were left with her hand.

it is the act of rape that got you off, not the hand job you loving piece of poo poo

k. Eat my rear end.

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



WatermelonGun posted:

y'all need church

Forgive me Lord, for I have jizzed

daemonsultan
Dec 28, 2004

Cuckoo posted:

I am a woman and whoever I date will pry porn from my cold, dead fingers.


Could I ask how? I know this sounds like a retarded question but I don't have the equipment v:v:v
The most important thing is, in my opinion, that when wanking you don't need to think about the other party. It's just me and whatever I choose to want.

Sex on the other hand (heh) is quite the opposite. Even if it's purely masturbatory, you still have to notice the one you're loving.

The physiological thing is slightly problematic imho, since both are better in their own way.

One needs both, if you ask me.

daemonsultan
Dec 28, 2004

And what would the options be? Writing fanfic? Sounds like hell of a work for just a wank.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

osirisisdead posted:

^^^You are engaging in sexytimes with the wrong women.^^^

I know what I like. Women don't normally handle the same dick for for a lifetime/

www
Aug 4, 2010

VendaGoat posted:

I know what I like. Women don't normally handle the same dick for for a lifetime/

what you need is a man.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

www posted:

what you need is a man.

It's depressing enough being attracted to women.

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo

VendaGoat posted:

I know what I like. Women don't normally handle the same dick for for a lifetime/

That is irrelevant. If the women that are handling your dick treat them as a one-size-fits-all object, then you are engaging in sexytimes with the wrong women.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

osirisisdead posted:

That is irrelevant. If the women that are handling your dick treat them as a one-size-fits-all object, then you are engaging in sexytimes with the wrong women.

Please describe to me how to differentiate between the right and wrong women?

Like, do they advertise their carnal knowledge by dressing in a certain manner and/or frequenting areas that are known to have women of a similar skill level?

Does your mom frequent these areas?

VendaGoat fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Jan 8, 2016

daemonsultan
Dec 28, 2004

osirisisdead posted:

That is irrelevant. If the women that are handling your dick treat them as a one-size-fits-all object, then you are engaging in sexytimes with the wrong women.

I must agree. Women rarely know dick about handling a dick. Sadly.

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
One dick is the same as the other (unless you were mutilated at birth) It's really not that hard compared to a vagina

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo
It's not about knowledge. It's about intent. You are engaging in sexual activity with women who don't enjoy playing with your dick, but are doing it because they think they should. A handjob from a women who is "trying to make you cum" is the worst. A handjob from a women who "wants to play with your dick" is the best.

Y'all need some real sluts.

Decebal posted:

One dick is the same as the other (unless you were mutilated at birth) It's really not that hard compared to a vagina

lol hard

daemonsultan
Dec 28, 2004

osirisisdead posted:

Y'all need some real sluts.
I will quote this should my wife want divorce. And from there on base my life upon this.

clone on the phone
Aug 5, 2003

Porn isn't immoral so its okay

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



Hand jobs are easy you engage the balls either with the other hand or your mouth and vary what you're doing a bit. If they aren't scared of it you put a little pressure on their taint at the same time

I use a guy's hardness as a barometer, it's pretty obvious if they like it or not

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003

by Nyc_Tattoo

daemonsultan posted:

I will quote this should my wife want divorce. And from there on base my life upon this.

If you wanted a good handjob, you shouldn't have been looking for a wife.

jlechem
Nov 2, 2011

Fun Shoe
gently caress you OP sex is good open is good prostitution is good

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


XMNN posted:

they thought he was a nice guy even though all the articles said hes into the spitting in/on and choking stuff

i continue to be impressed with how bad the posts in this thread are

there is nothing inconsistent about thinking he's a nice guy even though he's into that stuff

not everyone fucks with the lights off through a hole cut in a sheet

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Snatch Duster posted:

But presented with all four, id prob choose a great blow vs a great lay imo

personally i'd choose a great lay that involved a lot of foreplay and got us both incredibly excited

it's all psychological imo

macdonal hamborkles
Mar 29, 2010

Twerk it good!
best thread

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


WatermelonGun posted:

y'all need church

i'ma gently caress in the confessional booth during the service

Neutrino
Mar 8, 2006

Fallen Rib

WatermelonGun posted:

y'all need church

Totally agree. I used to have some serious wet dreams about Charlotte Church.

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
Im gunna create an effigy out of chicken bones so I can put my dick through it when we fuckin so we can make a voodoo child. Thats my fetish.

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opus111
Jul 6, 2014

goons giving sex advice.

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