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I write this with great foresight so that perhaps this knowledge can aid either myself or a reader. Some time ago I installed a dreaded app on my phone. The app in question seemed harmless at the time, as it is the official app for audiobook website, Audible. I had purchased a collection of HP Lovecraft short stories. Looking back, this is when the beast first took notice of me. Little did I know that it was creeping dread I was feeling at the time. It was harmless stuff at first. Neighbours dogs would be barking at my house all night, speakers would seemingly pick up transmissions of some kind, and old blind gypsies would try to warn me of the impending doom. Yoknow, the usual stuff. Now? Things are far more dire. Recently my computer died, despite me never turning it off since I bought it 3 years ago. I think this was a cunning ploy to limit my communication with the rest of the world. Sure not too sinister on its own, but there are other things that have been happening that support this. Take, for instance the fact that I recently purchased three packages of hot pockets. I got home and put as many as can fit on a plate and heated it LONGER than the reccomended time. When I touched those round ball like things they were colder than the cheese on the moon!! The final and most recent piece of evidence happened a mere 45 minutes ago! I was sitting on the couch, rubbing Doritos dust on my chest when my poorly balanced phone suddenly fell to the floor. The shock of this made me inhale doritos dust and I passed out after it gave me an asthma attack. I awoke not 10 minutes later, alone. Somehow in the attack my phone opened up audible and started playing a spooky story from HP Lovecraft. I hid in the laundry for a good 20 minutes, scared for my life. The beast seems to be gone now as my phone is out of battery. I will update as more spookies occur and pray I won't die. Thanks for reading my harrowing tale.
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Jan 9, 2016 15:40
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 07:37 |
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I'm crazy now, thanks rear end in a top hat
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Jan 9, 2016 15:43
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Fire all six shots of a revolver with great suddenness when one would probably be sufficient into your head OP
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Jan 9, 2016 15:44
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That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die
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Jan 9, 2016 15:50
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Shaquin posted:Fire all six shots of a revolver with great suddenness when one would probably be sufficient into your head OP I tried that. The beast jammed my gun. 
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Jan 9, 2016 15:51
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Stay safe, Cthulu ghost.
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Jan 9, 2016 15:53
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ask it what its having for lunch and hope it doesn't say you, i'm having hummus dipp and i just had a sandwich with spinach and tomatoes in case you were wondering but you probably have a lot on your mind - if you read this all the horror has snuck behind you while you were distracted
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Jan 9, 2016 16:11
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The Vulcan Science Directorate has ruled that eldritch horrors are impossible.
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Jan 9, 2016 16:17
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Jukeboxblues posted:I write this with great foresight so that perhaps this knowledge can aid either myself or a reader. Hmm, yes. And how many unspeakable Congo Secrets have been revealed to you by misshapen cyclopean mudmen thus far?
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Jan 9, 2016 16:28
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hemophilia posted:Hmm, yes. And how many unspeakable Congo Secrets have been revealed to you by misshapen cyclopean mudmen thus far? At least 5. My Man Shran posted:The Vulcan Science Directorate has ruled that eldritch horrors are impossible. Did your dumb vulcan eyes read my op? It gives clear and concise information proving otherwise. Nation posted:ask it what its having for lunch and hope it doesn't say you, i'm having hummus dipp and i just had a sandwich with spinach and tomatoes in case you were wondering but you probably have a lot on your mind - if you read this all the horror has snuck behind you while you were distracted It did sneak up on me but it was stunned by the question. It decided on dim sims and fried rice. I will post more info after I secure the perimeter.
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Jan 9, 2016 16:34
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Jukeboxblues posted:
I am no Vulcan, you filthy pinkskin. I'm going to ushaan you in the butt, okay?
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Jan 9, 2016 16:37
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The only power that Cthulhu has is the power to make anyone talking about it instantly more insufferable than Firefly fans.
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Jan 9, 2016 16:38
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we were talking about hp lovecraft not cthulhu
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Jan 9, 2016 16:40
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write a letter to a seldom heard from uncle about it op
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Jan 9, 2016 16:42
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Blue Raider posted:write a letter to a seldom heard from uncle about it op Good idea! I think my mom still has his address. PS update coming after this sobering coffee!
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Jan 9, 2016 16:46
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Eat the friggin bones
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Jan 9, 2016 16:47
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Tell your mom I said "Hi".
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Jan 9, 2016 17:02
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Official Update #1: I heard a ghostly moaning earlier. It was coming from my mothers room, yet strangely when I enquired about it later she said she heard no such thing and that I should ignore all sounds coming from her room. Perhaps this beast has put my mom under a spell? Or perhaps I am the only one that can hear this strang beast... I mentoined before that I spoke with the beast, and that I asked it what it planned to eat. During this time I studied it, or should I say him, for it was most certainly a male, of that I have no doubt, and managed to commit its form to memory, of which I shall now descrbe. It had a strange nest like object resting on its head, its eyes were seemed to be puffy, as if it were made of bread rolls. Overall it resembled a human, but its skin was as if it were made of tanned leather. Its arms dropped by its side as if they were made of jelly fish. It had an extended abdomin, and it reeked of cinnamon and juniper berries. Its voice, oh god its voice. It spoke as if it were strained, horse and rhaspy. I think it has chosen this form as my dad died 12 years ago and it senses my need for a male role model.I think I hear it upstairs rummaging through my collection of rare cereal boxes as I write this. My basement seems the only safe place for me, I suspect due to the ancient rite of protection I casted down here in the fifth grade, of that I am almost certain. My supplies are running low, and I will have to venture to the walmart sometime today. I pray this unspeakable horror will make flight soon, as I doubt I can be so lucky as previous encounters.
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Jan 9, 2016 17:22
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Punch his dick op
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Jan 9, 2016 17:27
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Hey now, hey now now
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Jan 9, 2016 17:32
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> summon jolio
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Jan 9, 2016 17:33
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Cast enlarge satan.
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Jan 9, 2016 17:42
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boy lovecraft's writing sure was scary! because racism is scary, you see
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Jan 9, 2016 17:55
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Talking about lovecrafts racism is so frickin boring
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Jan 9, 2016 17:57
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:Talking about lovecrafts racism is so frickin boring i dont have anything else to do
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Jan 9, 2016 17:57
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It's cool man
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Jan 9, 2016 18:16
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Here's a guys 250 page dissertation on lovecrafts influence on speculative science fiction and modern/post modern art https://etd.ohiolink.edu/ap/10?0::NO:10:P10_ACCESSION_NUM:ohiou1417615151 Pretty good
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Jan 9, 2016 18:18
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He was a gigantic pussy so scared of the world that even a frickin type of geometry was terrifying to him
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Jan 9, 2016 18:25
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:Talking about lovecrafts racism is so frickin boring
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Jan 9, 2016 18:40
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:Talking about lovecrafts racism is so frickin boring
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Jan 9, 2016 18:42
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Did you guys know that a person who was alive in the early 1900s was racist!? shocking!! Here's 10 things YOU didn't know about HP Lovecraft that'll BLOW YOUR MIND! Not the least of which the cthulu mythos ha ha thanks I'll be here all week
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Jan 9, 2016 18:44
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He was in Screwdriver?
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Jan 9, 2016 18:52
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better than being pursued by an eldritch whore imo. bitch thinks i owe her money, which is some bullshit.
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Jan 9, 2016 18:56
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PM Gatekeeper, he seems to be an authority on magicks and may be able to help u
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Jan 9, 2016 18:57
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A misanthrope posted:boy lovecraft's writing sure was scary! because racism is scary, you see Man, NWA's early work was so pretentious.
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Jan 9, 2016 19:14
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SIox6Z81Fw
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Jan 9, 2016 20:03
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find an occultist, they get bonus damage and mad crits on eldrichii. more so if they have your buddy's head in a bag or something.
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Jan 9, 2016 20:29
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op is a fhtagn
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Jan 9, 2016 20:46
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My gums bleed every time I brush my teeth, must be an eldritch horror following me around
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Jan 9, 2016 20:54
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 07:37 |
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ghlbtsk posted:op is a fhtagn
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Jan 9, 2016 20:56
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