FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

New wife every rank, makes sense.

Edgar posted:

I asked my dad about military spouses. He told me when the colonel's wife is having tea, all the other officer's wives have to go.
That the officer spouses truly acted they were their husband's rank. Other than that he went quiet and changed the subject.

MurderBot posted:

This thread made me ask my mom about what life was like after she married my dad in regards to being a mil wife. She said her first encounter with the mil wife "click" that was the officers wives made her vow never to ever associate with military wives again. She said "I did not like them, I just made friends with wives and women who weren't associated with the military."

And my mom is one of those people who is nice to everyone.

Dingleberry posted:

Jumpingmanjim posted:

In his defence, she looks like she has crazy eyes.

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

"we got promoted!"

Genocide Tendency posted:

I spent more time "working" with the army than I did on an air force base. Which basically means anytime they had to send someone to an army post for some bullshit or another, they sent me. But that was fine with me because being AF, no one really knew who was responsible for me. The down side was I some how wound up spending an uncomfortable time around one army officer who I still call "The Captain" despite him making at least Major. I'm pretty sure he "retired" roughly that, give or take a promotion because he was too awesome to make full bird, let alone getting a star.

Half of what made him awesome was his wife.

First off, she was a solid 7, mainly because she loved cheese cake and wine more than the gym. But genetics were overly nice to her. She was also smart. Not did well in school and finished college.. I mean MENSA level IQ. Combine those two with the utter contempt for humanity worthy of GIP and you get a fun evening of drinking.

This woman hated military spouses.

Literally. Hated them on principle.

One night, several glasses of wine too many later, she explained it.

Military wives are the worst god drat blight on the face of the earth. Most of them have an IQ slightly lower than that of the monkey at the zoo that throws poo poo at everyone. The only two things lower than their IQ is their husband's mental capacity and her chances of being a lingerie model. Its like making a sentient being out of a trash compactor. Big, foul smelling, noisy and consume garbage at an alarming rate. Entitled? Oh... Pretty sure more than one has their vibrator in a copy of their husband's last promotion announcement. They would have used the original but they couldn't figure out how to get it out of the picture frame they had it encased in. This leads to believing that they are the wife of someone important. Remember when the base commander's wife got a ticket for speeding, so the speed limit got raised and the mp who wrote the ticket got admin discharged? That is the mentality of just about every military wife. Those officer wives clubs are the same thing as a club for inbred trailer trash who won the lottery. Enlisted wives clubs are basically support groups for retired Alabama strippers. The easiest way to know all you need to about a military wife is their participation with spouse organizations. The more involved, the less you need to accept that they are actual human beings. The easiest way to figure out how involved they are is actually visual. The ratio of weight to clothing is a dead give away. If they look like 25 pounds of poo poo crammed into a 10 pound sack that they claim is only a 5 pound.. gently caress. You get the point. If that sack has camouflage anywhere, I mean anywhere, the grunts of her shoveling food into her mouth is the most intelligent she is capable of. When she starts to say something, save yourself from the anguish and just imagine Yakety Sax is the sound coming out of that hell hole of stupidity.

The best way to find a reasonable military wife is to run into them at a decent restaurant, and spend the entire time thinking you know them from somewhere, but just can't remember where. It was at one of those mandatory fun family days and she spent the entire time praying that she would spontaneously develop ninja skills so she could hide from these insufferable fucks. Or have a previously undiagnosed aneurysm rupture and she die on the spot. See the one in the corner wishing she had known the wallpaper design so she could have dressed in a manner that would allow her to flatten against the wall so no one would see her, thats the one that defies the norm.

Since most early enlisted are single or "engaged", which means they are single but still hung up on the first girl who managed to give him a blow job without cutting his dick up with their teeth, learn this one lesson. Above all else, know this one single thing. Never gently caress a girl who says she is into military men. Never. Don't even consider letting her know what brand of loving underwear you are wearing. These women are like military wives but not competent enough to actually dupe some dumb gently caress 19 year old kid who has more testosterone than functioning brain cells. These creatures either have less teeth than the average nursing home patient or syphilis has ravaged their cognitive abilities to the point even an E-3 can tell something isn't right, and that something is a deal breaker.

Do not ever go near a military wife. Avoid interaction with them in the same way you would avoid interacting with a rabies infected badger. If you know she is a military wife, treat her as radio active. You aren't dressed properly to be anywhere near them. Don't go near women who are interested in military men. If you have to commit ritual suicide on the loving spot to get away from one, well... Just know that you still get buried with honors.

Men who are military spouses are not so secretly gay. Or they were med boarded after a TBI and that sympathy gently caress he got from the physical therapy aid who taught him how to eat with a fork again at Walter Reed resulted in an unexpected bundle of joy, if you consider poo poo filled diapers joy . 90% of them aren't a blight on mankind who lower the average enough to rate human beings somewhere between a goat and that three legged blind cat you aunt wouldn't do the honorable thing and put down. But they also either are not so subtle about their willingness to help you "experiment" or can't quite grasp the complexity of shoe laces. So having a normal adult conversation with them is as likely as an ATI marriage working out.

People who want to attach themselves to military personnel are people you want nothing to do with. Unless his wife married him before he decided to further ruin his life by joining the military, its safe to assume you don't need to be anywhere near her. If she is in the military and married, as long as she isn't a marine then you are pretty safe to talk to her, her husband on the other hand is a crap shoot between getting expert curtain advice or drooling on themselves.

Also. Don't gently caress girls who are enlisted. Thats like sticking your dick in a live light socket. On second thought, you are better off sticking your dick in a live light socket.




We liked to get her liquored up and ask her for advice. Never once led us astray.

McNally posted:

I... wasn't trying to hide it?

gently caress, man, we all wore the uniform. Ain't nothing secret about that.

How do you know I'm not too stupid for shoelaces instead? Don't assume, man

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

I've known two.

They're both divorced now.

holocaust bloopers posted:

Professional photographer

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Sounds like strippers don't make cool friends. Your story makes them sound like broken people who unnecessarily hurt others by their selfish actions

Naked Bear posted: