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Hi I'm nooner, I work in an office and I bet a lot of you do too. Share your cool/funny/gross/depressing work stories itt (in this thread). Here are mine just from today. I work in marketing but I'm right next to the sales guys so I get to listen to them all day. Right before lunch sales guy A was on a call with potential client and sales guy B made a cold call. I guess the guy who was cold called wasn't happy so he started cussing out sales guy B who then started yelling back at the guy and saying lots of bad cuss words. The guy sales guy A was on the line with heard sales guy B yelling and swearing and got offended and told sales guy A How in professional he was and hung up. A then flips and starts screaming at B for ruining his call, also cussing up a storm about not swearing or yelling while he is on a call, all 9f this happens when sales guy C is on a call pitching a guy lol. Also we are soft launching the new site and sales guy A was super curious about the live chat feature and if it worked and how it worked and who saw it and stuff. After like 10 minutes of explaining it to him he finally gets it and goes back to his desk, then and minute later I get a notification that there is a new chat. It's sales guy A and he sent a message. The message was "friend of the family". This guy is like in his mid 50s lol Post work stories!!!
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Jan 11, 2016 22:37
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:37 |
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you jerked me off the other day!!!
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Jan 11, 2016 22:38
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Nooner posted:Hi I'm nooner, I work in an office and I bet a lot of you do too. Share your cool/funny/gross/depressing work stories itt (in this thread). are you one
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Jan 11, 2016 22:38
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when i worked at a pool concessions stand, one of my coworkers was late by, like, an hour and a half to her shift. me and the other cashier were berating her poor work ethic and hoping she got fired since she's been late before. turns out she was testifying in court because her mom's boyfriend attempted to murder her mother. i kind of felt like an rear end in a top hat when i found out.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:42
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my technology director thinks solid state drives are inherently soldered onto a board and are therefore irremovable. he's also a hulking mass of man.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:42
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i made 120 pounds (lbs) of pizza dough today
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Jan 11, 2016 22:42
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Nooner posted:Hi I'm nooner, I work in an office and I bet a lot of you do too. Share your cool/funny/gross/depressing work stories itt (in this thread). i didn't know FYAD was a company
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Jan 11, 2016 22:43
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scott zoloft posted:my technology director thinks solid state drives are inherently soldered onto a board and are therefore irremovable. he's also a hulking mass of man. At my old company my boss called me over because she needed help because "I want to put more files into this folder but it's full" Like she thought the file was "physically full" like you can't add more to it one the screen is full like scrolling bars don't exist or something
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Jan 11, 2016 22:45
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i've been puking in the coffee pot every day for the past 2 weeks
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Jan 11, 2016 22:50
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i worked at a family fun center in high school. like a privately owned chucky cheese type place. sometimes kids would piss, poo poo, and vomit all up in the overhead play tunnels. and it was essentially navigating a small cramped maze towards terrible treasure to clean up 30 feet above, and possibly also crying kids to fish out. but I could also play the time crisis II machine for free so whether or not it sucked is basically a wash.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:50
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Nooner posted:At my old company my boss called me over because she needed help because "I want to put more files into this folder but it's full" tell her to imagine how streamlined we'd be if she died and you got her paycheck.
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Jan 11, 2016 22:54
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at my wild west cowboy job i once shot a man for snorin' too loud
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Jan 11, 2016 23:06
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Celluloid Sam posted:i made 120 pounds (lbs) of pizza dough today keep up the good work!!
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Jan 11, 2016 23:09
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dad gay. so what posted:at my wild west cowboy job i once shot a man for snorin' too loud was this in Reno
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Jan 11, 2016 23:10
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:was this in Reno i honestly have no idea i was young and wild and full of whiskey. thats before i met my sweet clementine. she cured me of drinkin and cussin and fightin.
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Jan 11, 2016 23:13
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I more or less quit a year and a half ago but kept showing up to work to collect a paycheck. My punishment was being promoted to management; a tough, but fair, employer.
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Jan 11, 2016 23:16
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the first thing i did when i became a neurological pathologist was hang my degree on the wall, the second thing i did was take a whole bottle of oxycontin and chase it with a fifth of bourbon. they pumped my stomach and i got a free (much needed) 2 week vacation.
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Jan 11, 2016 23:22
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dad gay. so what posted:at my wild west cowboy job i once shot a man for snorin' too loud but ur still alive
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Jan 11, 2016 23:23
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Putty posted:but ur still alive when they shut down the stealth bathysphere program at NASA due to funding cuts (thanks bu$h!!) i did a brief stint as an intern with a local nail salon and it was probably the most rewarding work i have ever done, except for when i worked as a riverboat captain in new orleans
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Jan 11, 2016 23:24
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one time at my job of streaming videogames and screaming for a living i found a potato chip under my gamer rig and ate it
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Jan 11, 2016 23:25
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Kuato posted:I more or less quit a year and a half ago but kept showing up to work to collect a paycheck. My punishment was being promoted to management; a tough, but fair, employer. The American Dream
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Jan 11, 2016 23:31
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at the amusement park I worked at we would stay super late get stoned and watch torrented movies or play ps3 on an imax projector, sometimes we would flip the breaker for one of the arcades and play games into the wee hours of the morning, they also had this cool laser trip-wire room that you have to get through like that movie with the sexy actress (emilyblunt?) it was timed and really difficult felt like tom cruise executing a perfect roll and tuck-dive between lasers. oh and we didn't clock out while we did all this
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Jan 11, 2016 23:41
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Nooner posted:It's sales guy A and he sent a message. The message was "friend of the family". This guy is like in his mid 50s lol a straight shooter for middle management imo
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Jan 11, 2016 23:49
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"tells it like it is"
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Jan 11, 2016 23:49
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basement jihadist posted:you jerked me off the other day!!! *dinosaur jerker nooner turns to camera and shrugs* it's a livin
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Jan 11, 2016 23:51
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someone took a poo poo in a fitting room and I helped clean it up. they put a bunch of clothes on top of it to hide it or something. it was really gross oh is this a joke thread? mine's true though I wish it weren't.
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Jan 11, 2016 23:52
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Cowman posted:someone took a poo poo in a fitting room and I helped clean it up. they put a bunch of clothes on top of it to hide it or something. it was really gross no its not a joek thread, my stories are 100% real things that just happened this morning. My office is kinda weird but its fun and chill also, just the sales guys are nuts
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Jan 11, 2016 23:54
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what if the guy was buying clothes for the turd and just trying them on??? rude of u to barge in on it
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Jan 11, 2016 23:55
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I'm an old timey fish monger who spends most of his day monging almost fresh fish from a mule pulled wagon on the dreary streets of this tenement community.
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Jan 12, 2016 00:09
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Right now I'm on workman's comp so I get paid to laze about and draw tacoman and shitpost.
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Jan 12, 2016 00:12
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The person I share an office with eats his lunch at his desk every day (I go out) and he eats very slowly, like over the course of an hour, and he eats very loudly. I find it really disturbing and I don't know what to do about it.
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Jan 12, 2016 00:13
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TEAYCHES posted:The person I share an office with eats his lunch at his desk every day (I go out) and he eats very slowly, like over the course of an hour, and he eats very loudly. I find it really disturbing and I don't know what to do about it. i do this but i've got my own office, sucker. my office is 95% women. you'd think as a hot single young dude that would be ideal for me but they're all old or married.
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Jan 12, 2016 00:23
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dreezy posted:i do this but i've got my own office, sucker. ahh yes prime cucking material
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Jan 12, 2016 00:27
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When I worked in the toilet department at Lowes, about three times a month we'd get wiseguys who wanted to take one of the display toilets for a "test drive" so to speak. Nothing like spending an entire afternoon opening lids trying to figure out which of the two hundred toilets the poo poo smell is coming from. poo poo was actually the easiest to find because it's visible. If someone pisses in the toilet and you don't catch it right away then the urine dries and you have to figure out which toilet got pissed in by smell alone.
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Jan 12, 2016 00:30
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Once i threw 600kg of salt in the bin
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Jan 12, 2016 00:30
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Isaac posted:Once i threw 600kg of salt in the bin you must be very strong
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Jan 12, 2016 00:38
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lmao all the sales guys are yelling at eachother right now cause one of the guys said a lead we got through the website was his guy but then it turns out he never contacted the guy lol
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Jan 12, 2016 00:43
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amusinginquiry posted:you must be very strong 
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Jan 12, 2016 01:18
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I proccess data for people and give them attitude about it.
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Jan 12, 2016 01:20
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:37 |
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i had a student throw up on his final exam once. it went all over the place and all over him and all over the table he was at. then he started sobbing. so the entire room of 600 students just hears *hyuck* *sob* and i'm sure everyone is now feeling very confident about the exam. the course coordinator made me wash the exams off and copy them so he could keep taking the exam 
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Jan 12, 2016 01:27
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