Yelp reviews for sex clubs

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Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

from http://www.yelp.com/biz/power-exchange-san-francisco-3

Monica V. posted:

We settled on a spot on the 3rd floor overlooking the main level that had a stage with several mini couches all around. After a couple minutes of making out, there were guys hovering all around our little couch with their ding dongs out just wacking off a foot or two away.

Elaine B. posted:

PE is basically a maze of creepiness with rooms that resemble the sets of 80s comedy-horror cheesefests. I'm talking Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Funhouse, and Waxwork. I kept expecting Freddy Krueger to pop out of the shadows.
In addition to the nightmare-inducing decor, there is a trail of penises painted on the wall leading you down to the whack off room where old bald guys watch nasty porn. We tried to avoid that room but kept ending up in there regardless because there are multiple entrances.

etc.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 07:59

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 17:46

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Power Exchange, San Francisco posted:

The furniture is not draped with anything. If you jizz into the darkness (you loving goth), nobody will know until they sit in it.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:04

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Power Exchange, San Francisco posted:

This one particular room had some crowd and I decided to check it out. It must of been a senior citizen night, lots of creepy old looking men and women. Some ancient looking hag, half naked, was sitting on some fully naked guy and was rubbing her canoe on him.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:08

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

whoflungpoop posted:

jizz into the darkness

mods

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:10

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

You have my fiveas

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:32

old-timey newspaper gal: Feb 23, 2005

An all goon sex club would be really great.

Cum on down to Cuck's

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:36

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

pubie's pawg house lol

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:46

Big McHuge: Feb 5, 2014; You wait for the war to happen like vultures.
If you want to help, prevent the war.
Don't save the remnants.
Save them all.

Hot Jam posted:

An all goon sex club would be really great.

Cum on down to Cuck's

Bring a printer and get in for half off!

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:47

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

Hell Yeah posted:

pubie's pawg house lol

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:50

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Big McHuge posted:

Bring a printer and get in for half off!

That bit in fantasia with the buckets of water but its all of us in gbs carrying printers

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:53

Rabite: Apr 13, 2002; Dynamiet Rab

This is the only strip club I have ever wanted a refund from. Nasty, dirty , grimey, expensive. I would never recommend this place to anyone. You might catch something just by sitting down. There was only one decent girl on stage the entire night.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:54

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Ive been to a grimy strip club with no strippers working at all. That guy should consider himself lucky

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:55

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

Teasers Bikini Bar & Grill posted:

Came here for my dudes Bach Bach par par, and let me just say dog some snarly gnar gnar up in this joint. The liquor is bomb and the Babes are sloppy and emotionally 2 dimensional just like I like em. Wings were pretty good as well 5 stars

# ? Jan 12, 2016 08:59

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:07

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

On my way out I was going up the stairs and held onto the railing. It felt like it was coated in lotion and I left with a film on my hands. Lol! Gross!

Over time, I've talked to a lot of the girls, and since I've known some dancers in the past, I offer to give them a quick massage. I've done this for a while, but recent one of the new managers on duty seems to have taken a disliking to me, not sure why, I've never talked with her, but the other night she decided that me massaging the girls counted as me getting a dance (I'm not paying $20 to massage someone). She didn't bother telling me or any of the girls I spent time with that night, so some of the girl that were having a slower night ended up with more dances than they really got. If I was told this was happening, I wouldn't have massaged the girls or but for the MoD to take her dislike out on her employees is very unprofessional in my opinion. Until something is done about her, I'm never going back to this club

from the same strip club:

just had my phone stolen by one of the chicks. beware.

at least two of the girls are really men AND one of the psychos stole my wallet. Giving up on strip clubs.

A friend had a hat stolen from a stripper, somehow they couldn't find it and kicked us out and then the bouncers proceeded to threaten to beat us up since their weren't any camera's to see it.

if you liked to get drugged by dancers offering you a drink, and pushed hard to drink it, WATCH OUT. Then the next thing you know, many hours have passed and your credit card bill is scorching as your have been the victim of fraud. Yes, drugged and then victim of fraud.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:20

lenoon: Jan 7, 2010

Sex? In my sex club?!?!?!??!!

Chris Oct 3, 2013
I visited a few days ago and it really does live up to all the awful/wonderful rumours. I only wanted to relax and have a sauna. You can't relax for a sauna or steam room or jacuzzi due to the endless prowling of men. The moment a woman goes for a swim, men go to the jacuzzi over looking and start to masturbate. If they're lucky a woman will get in with them and help them out whilst everyone else looks on (it's very unsubtle). The private back rooms brought a stream of people knocking on any closed door in the hope of joining the sexual activity inside.

This is not a naturist spa. Naturist night is a joke. You're warned that it's naturist night but no one takes their towel off unless they want to be followed or oggled. I found it laughable that some people were horrified of the idea of being naturist there. It's a waste of decent facilities. Maybe my biggest mistake was being there in the evening.

Get rid of all the people.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:23

Red_Museum: Apr 17, 2011; Shredded Hen

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:33

Microwaves Mom: Nov 8, 2015; by zen death robot

Red_Museum posted:

5'd

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:45

Nude Bog Lurker: Jan 2, 2007; Fun Shoe

Hell Yeah posted:

pubie's pawg house lol

jizz in the darkness, piled high

# ? Jan 12, 2016 09:45

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

saw an outlet mall totally empty except for a porn store. looked up info later on local website. half posts were people complaining about how this is so close, but they have to drive 30 minutes to buy shoes. the other half were old men giving their stats and hours they would be at the gloryholes.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 10:07

Microwaves Mom: Nov 8, 2015; by zen death robot

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

saw an outlet mall totally empty except for a porn store. looked up info later on local website. half posts were people complaining about how this is so close, but they have to drive 30 minutes to buy shoes. the other half were old men giving their stats and hours they would be at the gloryholes.

Were they offering to stuck or were they hoping to get sucked?

# ? Jan 12, 2016 10:12

El Estrago Bonito: Dec 17, 2010; Scout Finch Bitch

quote:

Maybe I'm the only female in Portland who likes to go to adult video stores with her man and sit in the booths and watch good old fashioned porn? The only non-skanky female, anyway.

It's not easy. These places are often filthy, there are rarely any other regular couples around, and there are lots of men, standing around nervously waiting for a chance for a clandestine encounter of the, uh, personal hygiene kind with like-minded fellows.

Paradise video is probably the best in town, though. You walk into Paradise after parking in their private parking lot. If you go to the right, you see all the items for sale, and if you go to the left, that's where the booths are... That's where we're going today, kids!

There's also a nice, very clean, restroom in this main area, before you go to the booths - solely for employees and the lady visitors! The kind of restroom you could take your grandmother to, if the two of you were looking for a porn store restroom.

The booth area, or "arcade," is a U-shaped hallway with doors and behind each door is a little room. The rooms are actually quite large, compared to many in other businesses around town.

In each room is a machine that takes bills (1s, 5s, 10s, 20s) and one largeish screen TV with a TV above it, divided into 4 screens. The 4 screens continually move up through the channels, showing you the selection of DVDs. You choose one, using the push buttons, and it shows on the large screen. You can change it as often as you like. You can change the volume. You can watch the DVDs on the 4 little screens, or just what you've chosen for the big screen.

Some of the films will not be to your taste, of course, but there is such wide variety there's something for everyone!

There are two chairs in the booth (many places only have one). They are plastic folding chairs, so not so comfortable, nor very appropriate for certain couples-based calisthenic activities, but they are CLEAN.

There's a coat hook, a paper towel dispenser, a trash can, and a little shelf with an ash tray, because, yes, oh joy, you can smoke cigarettes in Paradise! At least until January, 2009.

The floors are clean. The walls are clean. The ashtrays are clean. The trash cans are emptied regularly. The place is so clean because, as far as we can tell, there is always a janitor on hand. As soon as someone leaves a booth, he is right there, clanking away with his bucket and other janitorial supplies.

There are some booths with special "voyeur glass." These are like large windows that you can not see through, unless the occupant on the other side pushes a button AND you push a button, too. Then you can see each other doing whatever it is you do. I've never looked!

Some also have "glory holes" which people use to stick things through for other people to suck on, like lollipops, I suppose, and candy canes, and popsicles. I've never done that, either. Not into licking other people's lollipops.

Anyway, I encourage all fun-loving, porn-positive couples to check this place out. Sure, there are sometimes single men hanging out, waiting to "make friends" with other guys, but you just walk on by. And lock your door, once you are in your booth! Once I caught someone kneeling outside our door, trying to see what he could through the space under the door. I told him to go away, and he did. We stay away from the voyeur glass and the glory holes, and we've never been bothered.

It can feel a bit weird, as a female, especially one raised as strictly as I was, to go into these places, but really, if you like porn, it is fun as heck.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 10:26

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

offering. also a man complaining that the other theatre patrons didn't respect he and his wife's boundaries, which got a response of "can i cum in youir wife's hair?"

# ? Jan 12, 2016 10:26

Microwaves Mom: Nov 8, 2015; by zen death robot

HAHAHA

# ? Jan 12, 2016 10:33

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

offering. also a man complaining that the other theatre patrons didn't respect he and his wife's boundaries, which got a response of "can i cum in youir wife's hair?"

Ugh such prudes

# ? Jan 12, 2016 16:49

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

Red_Museum posted:

lol if you can't even de-summon succubi

# ? Jan 12, 2016 16:51

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Nude Bog Lurker posted:

jizz in the darkness, piled high

Bad dongers.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 16:59

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Power Exchange, San Francisco posted:

If you do let one of the hideous gay grandfather transvestites suck your prick RUN to the hideous bathroom and wash your prick off with the supplied aids soap. Oh don't run too fast into the bathroom or you will slip on all the water that seems to jump out of the toilet when no one is around.

I would go back only if thousands of babies were on fire in there.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 17:14

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Red_Museum posted:

To be fair, Paladins are self-righteous assholes and deserve to be kicked out of sex clubs.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 17:18

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Power Exchange, San Francisco posted:

The one bouncer down stairs will try to impregnate you with dirty looks and cock blocking.

did I mention the prostitutes inside? They smell like the back end of a taco bell mcdonalds diet.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 17:18

KiteAuraan: Aug 5, 2014; JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!

I had never heard of Power Exchange until my boyfriend mentioned it, and when he brought it up, all he said was that it was 'like a strip club.' Anyway, he has been wanting to take me there forever, and suggested I gather some really adventurous girls from work to come with his large group of friends one night. So I agreed, and me and the girls met at a nearby bar to try and get a little buzzed before we all met up.

Once we got there, I knew I was in for a great night! For the first time in a while, I was truly able to "let go." It's no wonder why places like this are exploding all over Europe! Many of my girlfriends are from Europe, and when they realized it was a sex club, most of them said they had been to them before (leaving me to feel like the prude of the bunch!) A great experience that helped show me a side of myself I never knew existed AND explore my gender identity.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 17:27

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Pretty much old dudes in corners choking their chickens. If you are even mildly attractive creeps will follow you around asking if they can jerk off next to you. I think my friend and I spent 15 min or less inside and felt really dirty, but not in the good way.

# ? Jan 12, 2016 17:40