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Vitalis Jackson posted:Whoops. It must have been an F100. ironically it was a volvo
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Jan 20, 2016 04:17
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:35 |
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I once bought underwear drunk. For some reason I bought extra smalls. I am not an extra small guy. I somehow managed to get a pair on but when I bent over they basically exploded off of me like I was in some bizarre, hopeless, incredible hulk themed porno.
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Jan 20, 2016 12:50
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Pissed into the drain hole of a half basement at a college party with roughly 30 people in said basement at the time, this was the center of the room and half the people watched me in shock.
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Jan 20, 2016 13:29
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Gaunab posted:Sometimes I drink so much that I become stunningly self-aware. that sounds awful
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Jan 20, 2016 14:52
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I'm not an expereinced drinker, but the drunkest I'd ever been in my life I was sitting in the corner of some seedy townie bar and chugged some drinks that I thought were just Cokes, but later turned out to be really really strong Long Island iced teas. I was already sloppy drunk by this point. I stumbled home as one of my friends crashed in the guest room and my other friend tried to get me to take some aspirin and water as I was debating whether or not to poop myself on my couch and just "deal with it in the morning." And then I started crying for no reason. Yeah, don't go drinking with me. Oh, and I threw up all over the living room carpet and my wife spent a good part of the next day using the steam cleaner to try to get the stain out. It's about 5 years later and I still get poo poo for it.
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Jan 20, 2016 15:17
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Back in college, working as an RA, drinking with my coworkers for the first time. We were playing Ring of Fire. Drawing a King meant you had to pour some of what you were drinking into the King's Cup in the middle. If you drew the fourth King, you had to drink the entire cup. I drew the first and fourth king. I remember chugging the entire thing, leaning my head back, and thinking, "This is going to gently caress me up." and waking up the next morning in my bed. There was vomit on the sheets. There was poo poo in the toilet. One of my coworkers helped me to my room, and I can only imagine he helped me onto the toilet as well. I called the Assistant Resident Director, my direct supervisor, and asked her if she wanted to come to my room and have sex (she declined, though we did end up hooking up a week later). Apparently I insisted on helping with a resident issue sometime between blacking out and being taken back to my room. It's the only time I've ever blacked out.
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Jan 20, 2016 16:01
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I was drinking with a couple of co-workers in the office breakroom for like three hours, just slamming beers out of the company kegerator. Someone brought up trying to take my keys, because I was visibly plastered, so next time I went to the bathroom, I snuck around the outside of the building, grabbed my laptop off my desk, got in my car and drove home. I texted "got home alive, owned" and passed out. I drove drunk a lot back then, and got really good at pulling the irish goodbye whenever anyone tried to stop me. Same job, company Christmas party. We had a 9% ABV oatmeal stout on tap, and I started pre-gaming at around 4PM, before getting to the bar and slamming Brewer's Art Resurrections (they were the best beer on our open tab). By the time the CEO started his annual speech at 7:30, I was passed out face-first on a table. I'm told I kicked in the door to the janitor's closet because I thought it was the bathroom. Another time, my (now ex-)wife was working late, so I played Saints Row 3 all night and drank almost an entire bottle of Pernot. At some point I lost my glasses (turns out they were wedged between the trash can and the wall), and she came home to me laying facedown on the floor because I passed out trying to see under the couch, as if my glasses could have been under there. She thought I was dead when she walked it.
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Jan 20, 2016 17:09
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dunk a dill pickle, reald-o.
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Jan 20, 2016 17:32
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hot bi roommate got mad at gf. wanted to play beer pong. got drunk. started getting touchy feely. turned her down. we talked about her dead mom. :iamafag:
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Jan 20, 2016 17:46
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trikker posted:hot bi roommate got mad at gf. wanted to play beer pong. got drunk. started getting touchy feely. turned her down. we talked about her dead mom. congratulations on not raping someone
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Jan 20, 2016 18:20
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Gaunab posted:congratulations on not raping someone thanks
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Jan 20, 2016 18:21
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How are so many people comfortable with the prospect of getting behind the wheel absolutely plastered?
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Jan 20, 2016 18:25
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The closest I've ever come to drunk driving was after a wedding when the group I arrived with all got hammered at the reception, designated driver included. We had to all size each other up to determine who was least drunk and most capable. Luckily it was all isolated back roads home (hence not just taking a cab) and my friend was a seasoned drunk driver. Doesn't mean I didn't feel bad about being party to it. It was reckless.
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Jan 20, 2016 18:29
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Because they're stupid and irresponsible.
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Jan 20, 2016 18:30
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When I arrived back to my house I came across a possum on my back deck. I attempted to scare it away by yelling at it and waving my arms around with minimal success. In a brilliant moment I decided to pull out my dick and start peeing on it. Surprisingly this possum just took the golden shower to the face without moving and let out a small grunt. After I was done it scurried off. As I stumbled into the house I yelled out "King of the jungle my rear end!" and promptly passed out in my bed I'm not actually embarrassed by this.
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Jan 20, 2016 18:41
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One time my buddy found some human ashes in a box on a park bench out front of a Subway, this weird black paper box with a name and some dates on it. That ended up in the king's cup. I didn't end up drinking it, but my buddy who did figured out in the morning that he and the dead guy share a birthday. I have been to some places man
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Jan 20, 2016 19:30
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Batterypowered7 posted:It's the only time I've ever blacked out. Anyone who doesn't have at least one blackout a week is a pussy bitch imo.
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Jan 20, 2016 20:41
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I went to puke out of a second floor bathroom window and puked on some girl's head. i dumped my water cup out on her to clean her off. I think I thought I was helping?
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Jan 20, 2016 20:47
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scott zoloft posted:I went to puke out of a second floor bathroom window and puked on some girl's head. i dumped my water cup out on her to clean her off. I think I thought I was helping?
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Jan 20, 2016 21:44
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After drinking a shitload of rum, before hand... Drank a margarita, took a shot of tequila, threw up the margarita back into the margarita glass and played it off as if I just didn't like the drink. The bartender apologized and offered to bring me a new one. I never actually specified that it was bad, I just said "I'm all set" when she asked if I still wanted "the drink." As she was walking away, I saw her glance at it, with a "What the gently caress is this poo poo?" expression on her face. It looked exactly the same as how they brought it out, but with some mucus floating in the middle. Still not sure if she noticed or not. Probably thought I spat in the drink and sent it back. I felt bad. I'm sure she thought I was a snobby rear end in a top hat, but I'd rather someone assume I'm a snobby rear end in a top hat vs "Holy poo poo this is a glass full of puke." liquorlanche fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Jan 20, 2016 |
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Jan 20, 2016 21:50
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Back when I was younger, I'd usually wrap up a long day at the studies with drinks every Thursday. Often times that meant showing up to class with few or no hours of sleep Friday morning. More than once did I do math assignments on the blackboard in front of class being awake for 24 hours, the last 16 of which had been spent drinking. I recall one time I insisted on doing an entire assignment and meticulously color-coding all symbols with 5 or so different colors depending on their semantical category (parentheses, operators, functions, variables, numbers, etc). The instructor let me do it because I was the only one nerdy enough to actually show up prepared (if drunk) for class. I only did that very few times 10 years later as the teacher because being 10 years older getting math right while drunk going on hung-over is fricking hard.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:19
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liquorlanche posted:After drinking a shitload of rum, before hand... Drank a margarita, took a shot of tequila, threw up the margarita back into the margarita glass and played it off as if I just didn't like the drink. The bartender apologized and offered to bring me a new one. I never actually specified that it was bad, I just said "I'm all set" when she asked if I still wanted "the drink." As she was walking away, I saw her glance at it, with a "What the gently caress is this poo poo?" expression on her face. It looked exactly the same as how they brought it out, but with some mucus floating in the middle. Still not sure if she noticed or not. Probably thought I spat in the drink and sent it back. lollin irl at this
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Jan 20, 2016 22:21
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I don't really black out as I refer to it as time travel.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:41
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Was dating a girl who I really liked and was going to meet her brother and his girlfriend for the first time the next day at Worlds of Fun amusement park. We were leaving early in the morning so it was important that I didn't drink the night before. I thought it would be ok just to go get one drink with my pal Nick. One triple bourbon and coke, then two. . .then seven. . .a couple of guys start some poo poo with us, we can't be bothered to move off our bar stools, one of them puts me in a headlock from behind, I don't seem to mind. Those guys get kicked out, I finish my drink. Nick asks me if I'm ready to go, I turn, throw up all over the floor of the bar, turn back to him and he says "I'll take that as a yes". Stumble out of bar asking Nick to take me to Jennifer's apartment, wake hanging over the edge, puking, of the 2nd floor railing outside the door of my girlfriends apartment, black out again, wake up on the floor of my girlfriends apartment living room, babbling about how sorry I am and how much I love her; black out AGAIN, wake up to puking in the toilet of the bathroom, black out one more time, wake up a few hours later in her bed and she's sleeping on the floor. She is visibly pissed at me and after she gets some coffee into both of us she tells me how she was up most of the night cleaning up after me puking and making GBS threads everywhere in the bathroom. making GBS threads in the sink, bathtub, floor, on the walls, sometimes even the toilet, but mostly those other places.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:50
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PureEvil6_13 posted:Stumble out of bar asking Nick to take me to Jennifer's apartment, wake hanging over the edge, puking, of the 2nd floor railing outside the door of my girlfriends apartment, black out again, wake up on the floor of my girlfriends apartment living room, babbling about how sorry I am and how much I love her; black out AGAIN, wake up to puking in the toilet of the bathroom, black out one more time, wake up a few hours later in her bed and she's sleeping on the floor. Someone edit the picture of the guy in the bathtub making GBS threads and pissing while saying "I love you".
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Jan 20, 2016 22:58
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dad gay. so what posted:i got hit by a car once Fukken LOL!!!!!
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Jan 20, 2016 23:28
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i had a friend who really got hosed up when he drank. one day he was hammered, started pissing in the corner of his house. his girlfriend walked in, started yelling. he just turned his head over his shoulder and said "what? like you're perfect?"
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Jan 20, 2016 23:43
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We were drinking in the street outside a pub and a really smelly old tramp walked up and started asking us for money. The ladies we were with were annoying me and got pissy with him so I defended his honour by hugging him and giving him a big sloppy kiss. He stank of piss , booze and stale cigs. And after so did I. My wife got so annoyed she made me sleep downstairs as I was too drunk to shower the reek of tramp off me. Good times.
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Jan 21, 2016 00:09
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Lol this thread is a honeypot for goon self destruction. Y'all suck and should stop pissing on yourselves
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Jan 21, 2016 00:18
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I was at some guys house and his gf got cheesy fries and put them in the fridge and I thought it would be a good idea to sneakily give the whole 2lbs of cheesy fries to their greyhound. I was at some party and allowed everyone to draw all over me in sharpie, my friend drew a heart with his name on it above my crotch (I did not have sex w him) and then some people poured beer over my head for some reason. I had to go to work the next day and couldn't wake up early enough so I went in reeking of beer and people commented on it. We were going to the beach and I was wasted in the back seat of this guys car. I couldn't get out so they had to open the door for me and I literally rolled out from the car to the ground singing ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN by Limp Bizkit. Makes me feel old cause they're partying on the WTC   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYnFIRc0k6E Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Jan 21, 2016 |
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Jan 21, 2016 00:42
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Toadvine posted:How are so many people comfortable with the prospect of getting behind the wheel absolutely plastered? I'd much, much rather drive drunk than hungover. It's not even a contest. Like I'm not saying do either but the closest I ever came to injuring someone while operating a motor vehicle was backing out of a gas station parking lot hungover without checking my blind spot and nearly knocking over a motorcyclist.
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Jan 21, 2016 01:20
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i dont drive "drunk" or whatever but i drive after a few beers or while having a few beers and shots and its actually one of the most enjoyable parts of my daily routine. im much smarter than everyone else + plus these rules dont apply to me is my common justification if i even think about it all.
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Jan 21, 2016 01:38
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A Stupid Baby posted:I'd much, much rather drive drunk than hungover. It's not even a contest. Like I'm not saying do either but the closest I ever came to injuring someone while operating a motor vehicle was backing out of a gas station parking lot hungover without checking my blind spot and nearly knocking over a motorcyclist. +1 im much more dangerous hungover. by a lot. you are probably one of those that gets a little sharper as they drink, like me and johnny fever. the trade off is we have much more horrible brain damage the following day. professor barney.
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Jan 21, 2016 01:41
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i dropped my phone and it didn't broke but it was scary
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Jan 21, 2016 01:54
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liquorlanche posted:After drinking a shitload of rum, before hand... Drank a margarita, took a shot of tequila, threw up the margarita back into the margarita glass and played it off as if I just didn't like the drink. The bartender apologized and offered to bring me a new one. I never actually specified that it was bad, I just said "I'm all set" when she asked if I still wanted "the drink." As she was walking away, I saw her glance at it, with a "What the gently caress is this poo poo?" expression on her face. It looked exactly the same as how they brought it out, but with some mucus floating in the middle. Still not sure if she noticed or not. Probably thought I spat in the drink and sent it back. lmao
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Jan 21, 2016 02:38
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I was simultaneously making GBS threads diarrhea, leaning over puking into the bathtub, and sporting a rock hard boner when my buddies girlfriend walked in to the bathroom
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Jan 21, 2016 02:53
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SaltLick posted:I was simultaneously making GBS threads diarrhea, leaning over puking into the bathtub, and sporting a rock hard boner when my buddies girlfriend walked in to the bathroom  Go on....
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Jan 21, 2016 03:23
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One tiem I got two #drunk and too my #eyesofftheprize and stopped thinking about #brands
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Jan 21, 2016 03:30
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dad gay. so what posted:i once hosed my friends fiance why he was in vegas for his bachelor party YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER TELL! <  >
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Jan 21, 2016 03:52
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:35 |
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I took too many tequila shots and ended up passing out in a bathroom stall at a Christmas staff party when I was 21. I was wearing 5" heels, and I'm already 5'11. A coworker and her husband had to carry me out of the party, and took me home to their place while I barfed and farted at the same time. I then got up in the morning and walked to a city bus stop in bare feet, and took a bus home where I got off one stop too early because I was still drunk. Pretty sure I looked like a hooker.
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Jan 21, 2016 03:59
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