Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Tell me some embarrassing drunk stories
 
  • Locked thread
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

yoyodyne posted:

My posting history.

Yup

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2016 20:44
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:48
  • Quote
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Nation posted:

quote this if you slammed some whale when you were wayyyy too drunk
* # ¿ Jan 16, 2016 23:05
  • Quote
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Thin Privilege posted:

Being female I was on the bottom and I literally thought I was going to die because he was so fat and heavy and thus was preventing my chest from moving & preventing me from breathing. Was not a good time.

Oh so females are only allowed to be on the bottom? :colbert:


:v:

* # ¿ Jan 17, 2016 00:37
  • Quote
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
 I was so drunk I once objectified the women around me as complete and total sexual objects.

* # ¿ Jan 17, 2016 03:31
  • Quote
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

FizFashizzle posted:

19, back to college for spring semester early because I did a winter semester thing in London.

There's like six people in the dorm so i get drunk by myself and fire up AIM to see who's around. Only girl on is some loving heffer from Alabama. Whelp, whatever. I ask her straight up if she'd blow me. She says maybe and invited me up.

I get up there with what was left of the handle of mr Boston and holy poo poo she's fat. I mean like 250 easy. Just loving obese.

anyway she won't blow me but I can gently caress her. I'm like ehhhhhhhhhh but the dick is in control. I turn out the lights and tell her to keep her clothes on.

I bent her over and just started going at it but my god she was fat and I'm not sure I even got in there. Finally I came to my senses and just stopped. "Th-thanks," I said as I walked out.

"drat that poo poo felt good!" Was the last thing I heard as I closed her door.

She transferred out shortly thereafter.

Just let the fat bitch on top. This way she works harder, burns more calories and can actually satisfy you.

Everyone wins.

* # ¿ Jan 17, 2016 03:36
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:48
  • Quote
VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

dad gay. so what posted:

i once hosed my friends fiance why he was in vegas for his bachelor party

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER TELL! <:mad:>

* # ¿ Jan 21, 2016 03:52
  • Quote
  • Locked thread
The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Tell me some embarrassing drunk stories