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Hello, It's taken me 14 years, but I've finally assembled the courage to make a postage in this fine house of threads. 33, I live in a brick rowhouse and both my neighbours are single women, one 27ish the other 60+. Now since I'm living on a disability welfare payment I have a suspicion that I'm viewed as a strange loner, even though I drive a pretty car and own my place. My younger neighbour on the left lives in a smaller house and probably works as a nurse, drives a small Opel Corsa and is really pretty. She also has two cats that keep guard in front of her window. I really have the hots for her and don't know how to speak her. I've already been inside her house as I was doing some stability works in my house (had to know the thickness of the walls), she seemed really nice and approachable. Does anyone know a way to make "accidental" acquantaince ? Should I call on her door and ask for sugar? What if she peppersprays me? (I'm not fat) thanks
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Jan 18, 2016 22:16
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 18:05 |
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Mmm, belgian waffles
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Jan 18, 2016 22:23
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i dont know man jesus. maybe figure it out your own drat self like someone who aint a bitch
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Jan 18, 2016 22:25
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German pancakes are the ultimate version of French toast
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Jan 18, 2016 22:26
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ask her how old her cats are, and then kind of lick your lips and nod hungrily and explain that you used to have a cat, then trail off
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Jan 18, 2016 22:27
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Bring her a printer, it'll be a great ice breaker
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Jan 18, 2016 22:27
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How thick were her walls then OP? don't leave us hanging!
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Jan 18, 2016 22:28
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Ask her out for coffee, you dingus
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Jan 18, 2016 22:30
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make a kickstarter
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Jan 18, 2016 22:34
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Ask her out and get shot down completely and then have awkward sidewalk encounters until you move out of shame.
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Jan 18, 2016 22:36
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suicide attempt on her front lawn. works 4 out of 5 times,
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Jan 18, 2016 22:48
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Make small talk, figure out her interests, leave cutesy notes on her porch/in her mailbox when and if things get comfortable enough. Now admittedly I had a high compatibility rating with girls of that age, so maybe this isn't universal, but pretty much any interest is "discoverable". The only things you should avoid are multi-era fandoms. For instance, figuring out a Whovian's preferred Doctor(s) in conversation is conspicuous and risky. Avoid that poo poo. When I was her age, a lot of girls I knew with multiple cats were super into Neil Gaiman. If this is still the case, she's also probably into Clive Barker. If this still holds up, your endgame in note flirtation should be a humorous retelling of the Hellbound Heart (like ctrl-f and replace Frank and Julia's names with your own - I have done this twice now). You'll want to test the waters some, but honestly, people seem to be interested in people with similar interests. It's better than sulking on he internet about it.
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Jan 18, 2016 22:48
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Post a picture and after post this thread in EN where it belongs
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Jan 18, 2016 22:49
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Go for the old lady ya dingus!
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Jan 18, 2016 22:50
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BelgianWaffle posted:Hello, Say you're thinking about getting a cat and saw that she has some and you're curious about cat ownership from a real person not the internet. People love to talk about their pets
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Jan 18, 2016 22:52
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urinate on her lawn to mark it as your territory #justalphathings
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Jan 18, 2016 22:54
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I would suggest gusting up and just going over and asking her out, all blunt like. But if you feel you need an in, maybe find some farmer's market or event that is within walking distance and invite her to it, using the closeness of the event as an excuse for asking her, to maintain the facade you aren't trying to marry her.
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Jan 18, 2016 22:54
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czarmonger posted:I would suggest gusting up and just going over and asking her out, all blunt like. Yeah, sounds good in practice, but what about the hassle with the Realtors if she says "no" ? OP can't keep living next to her with that shame
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Jan 18, 2016 22:56
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Decebal posted:Say you're thinking about getting a cat and saw that she has some and you're curious about cat ownership from a real person not the internet. This is incredibly devious and good idea. You can have an entire conversation for two hours where you hardly open your mouth. Let her just go on and on about her cats. By the end of it she thinks your a good listener, didn't realize she controlled the entire conversation and by consequence thinks it was good, brings up a "common interest" you can revert back to when you run out of poo poo to say, and might even get you an official dinner date. kill her and wear her skin
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Jan 18, 2016 22:59
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Obeah posted:Make small talk, figure out her interests, leave cutesy notes on her porch/in her mailbox when and if things get comfortable enough. Now admittedly I had a high compatibility rating with girls of that age, so maybe this isn't universal, but pretty much any interest is "discoverable". The only things you should avoid are multi-era fandoms. For instance, figuring out a Whovian's preferred Doctor(s) in conversation is conspicuous and risky. Avoid that poo poo. do the exact opposite of whatever this incomprehensible garbage is and you can land yourself a movie star and move to hollywood
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Jan 18, 2016 23:02
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get a pitbull and let him wound one of her cats then drive everyone to the vet and play a barry manilow CD
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Jan 18, 2016 23:02
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drill holes in the wall so you can observe her habits
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Jan 18, 2016 23:19
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are you the kind of "disabled" the military hands out to total weirdos to get rid of them or are you damaged in some kind of legitimate way
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Jan 18, 2016 23:41
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how long have you been living in the house also yea start hitting on grandma. she's old and doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant so she'll gently caress you a lot
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Jan 18, 2016 23:42
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love is cheap you can find it on backpage for starting at $20 an hour
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Jan 18, 2016 23:44
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good luck dude, also its not love it is lust
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Jan 18, 2016 23:44
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and lust is a sin, so burn in hell OP
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Jan 18, 2016 23:45
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You show up at her doorstep with some nice lingerie and demand she puts it on, threaten her if she refuses, sometimes you have to smack them a few times to get them to do what you want OP and that goes for men or women.
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Jan 18, 2016 23:47
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op its too late for you just spend all your money on hookers, one of them eventually will settle down i just know it
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Jan 18, 2016 23:49
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go over and introduce yourself and apologize for never doing this before and tell her that she's now your emergency contact in case you get hurt. girls love that
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Jan 18, 2016 23:52
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Just get one of these dude, you'll be swimming in her puss in no time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2150iFXF5Vc
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Jan 19, 2016 00:00
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are you ugly disabled or just regular disabled OP
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Jan 19, 2016 00:02
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Show us your cock OP.
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Jan 19, 2016 00:23
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Microwaves Mom posted:Show us your cock OP. Show her your cock OP, jam it through the letter box and let her make an informed decision. This is how love works.
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Jan 19, 2016 00:53
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Shirley Crabtree posted:Show her your cock OP, jam it through the letter box and let her make an informed decision. This is how love works. No, us first, so we can inform him how to proceed.
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Jan 19, 2016 00:55
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Eat a heap of benzos to work up the courage to talk to her. Your short term memory will erase itself every few seconds so if it creates problems in the conversation say you have a brain tumour
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Jan 19, 2016 01:27
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Get a Kool-Aid Man outfit and crash through her wall while wearing it. Have an awkward conversation when you realize she's too young to remember those commercials.
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Jan 19, 2016 01:35
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Nurses don't date guys on disability. That's the last job where people want to take their work home with them.
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Jan 19, 2016 01:45
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if i ever heard another man describe his car as pretty i'm pretty sure the man code says i have to punch him in the face
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Jan 19, 2016 01:52
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 18:05 |
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Walk up to her while grinning widely (ladies love a smile) and whisper "hey ive been in your house. thats not a threat. dont run away"
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Jan 19, 2016 02:01
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