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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 26, 2024 04:17
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- spud
- Aug 27, 2003
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by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
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That guy looks like Doobie's evil brother.
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Jan 24, 2016 06:44
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- The American Dream
- Mar 1, 2007
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Don't Forget My Balls
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That's how the OPs mom gets to the truck weigh station for the first episode of her reality series
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Jan 24, 2016 06:58
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- Harrower
- Nov 30, 2002
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That guy looks like Doobie's evil brother.
Doobie is probably the evil twin.
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Jan 24, 2016 08:07
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- gimme the GOD DAMN candy
- Jul 1, 2007
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Ok, here's a few good ones....
So a Honda Odyssey comes in, and it has crime scene tape on the driver's side mirror. Cool! That was usually a sign that the car was used in some sort of crime. Finding weed in a car was common, even after the cops went over it, so I headed over to check it out. Open up the driver's door, and that smell hit me. The smell of death. Like a loving brick wall. Dry heave a few times after slamming the door, compose myself. As I'm getting it together I see one of my co-workers and a transporter laughing. What the gently caress, guys? Turns out this teenage kid goes to a party in the woods, gets completely shitfaced, and lays down between the middle row of seats. He puked while unconscious and drowned in it. They didn't find him for a week, because none of his friends wanted to dime out that they were partying. Very interesting mold growth in between the seats, btw.
When I first started there we had multiple satellite locations before we moved to a new facility. The body shop where I worked was one spot, and a few miles up the road was the auction proper. So we needed to go get some cars to work on, we all hop in a van. Drive up there and my boss starts telling guys what to take. He points me to an Explorer, so I go to get it. Get in, notice the seat has been replaced, whatever. Try and start it, but it has a dead battery. So I lean back out of the truck to tell them to bring me a jump box, but as I do I see them all laughing raucously at me. Fuuuuck, not good. I look forward, and that's when I see the splatter. Fine brown splatter on the windshield, all over the side glass. Huh. Look to the left, more on the door. Oh god oh god oh god. Turn to the right, look at the seat. loving brown stains all over it. Look in the center cupholders, congealed stuff and some fine whitish flakes. Ohgodohgodohgod. Look up, sure enough, there's the bullet exit hole out the roof. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Lastly, another crime scene tape car! Yay! This one is a Passat, and it has some writing on the window but I'm too far away to read it. Walk on over and man this thing was kinda smashed up, and what are those weird stains on the car? As I get closer, I can read the window. It says "WARNING: Biohazard/HIV infected blood, do not release from impound" Oh loving poo poo. As I look, there's footprints on the trunk, up to the roof and facing the driver's side. Ok, so this is smashed, from a police impound, with bootprints up on the roof and facing the driver. Oooohhhhh I get it, this was a police chase and that's where a cop jumped up to cover the driver with a gun, I guess? Dude clearly hit the windshield with his face, dunno why that's what they did if that's what they did. The best part, though, was the two bloody handprints on the rear door glass that slid to the side and dragged down it from where the cops threw him against the car and then tossed him to the ground. No idea what happened to the guy, or if the cops got HIV.
The police came back to pick the car up a month later, it was supposed to be evidence in some case but the cops forgot about it (even though we apparently called them).
uh, the first two of those were just your coworkers loving with you presumably because they hated you. also i hope you got pozzed real good from one of those death cars.
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Jan 24, 2016 09:32
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Jan 24, 2016 06:22
