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Thunder Moose
Mar 7, 2015

S.J.C.
:frogsiren: :frogsiren: :frogsiren::frogsiren: GET HYPED :frogsiren: :frogsiren: :frogsiren: :frogsiren:

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Traxis
Jul 2, 2006

It's probably going to be terrible

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

It must be horrible for Gillian Anderson to go back to a poo poo show like x files after working with a genius like Chris Roberts on Star Citizen.

The Kingfish
Oct 21, 2015


Or maybe... It will be good?

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.
it probably will be good actually.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
There's only six new episodes which means no monster of the week episodes which have always been the only good ones.

Thunder Moose
Mar 7, 2015

S.J.C.

Nigmaetcetera posted:

monster of the week episodes which have always been the only good ones.

What?

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
http://www.polygon.com/2016/1/20/10797830/x-files-miniseries-first-episode-review

quote:

The X-Files is back, and it's not good (so far)

This post contains what could be considered spoilers for the first episode of the new X-Files miniseries

There is a moment in the first episode of the upcoming X-Files miniseries that brings the sense of fun and even wonder of the original series at its best. It concerns ex-FBI Agent Fox Mulder — who used to run the X-Files program, investigating the cases the Bureau doesn't want to deal with — laying his hands on a piece of alien technology. His smile, and his childlike enthusiasm seen in this brief scene, are rare moments of light in the episode.

The rest of the episode is a confusing, disjointed and mostly dour mess of plot elements that just don't work.

You have Dana Scully, who is helping children born without ears. You have Fox Mulder, who has taped over the camera on his laptop and seems to have become something of a hermit suffering from depression. The two used to be involved both professionally and romantically. They hint at both with a mix of longing and anger, like any symbolically divorced couple who were once in love. The episode does a good job at bringing people up to speed if they haven't seen the original show.

But the episode is so busy winking at you while the actors repeat story beats from better, past episodes and quote catch phrases that it just doesn't have time to present a compelling re-entry into this world. If you were bothered by The Force Awakens needing to remind you every five minutes you were watching a Star Wars film, the X-Files return is going to drive you bonkers.

There is also the problem of the show's main themes. The idea of government conspiracies and the idea of somehow being safe from surveillance while using any form of technology seems quaint in 2016. We know they're watching us, that's an answered question. We also know they're pretty incompetent at most things. Paranoia has turned into tired resignation, and the X-Files as a series doesn't seem to know how to deal with this fact.

X-files 3
The casting of Joel McHale as a Fox News-style conspiracy theorist, complete with his somewhat fawning appreciation for Mulder's work, should have been perfect. But the character and his plot arc ultimately peter out to nothing. McHale gamely throws himself at the material, including a brief scene of what appears to be a date with Scully, but he can't save the script and its lack of forward momentum.

There is a scene where David Duchovny and Joel McHale go off on a multi-minute, tag-team word salad conspiracy theory that seems so disconnected from the rest of the episode that I expected someone to try to undercut it with a joke. At any moment it seemed like a member of the Insane Clown Posse would crash through the window, look at the camera and ask how magnets worked.

Mulder and McHale's talk show host have both possibly stumbled onto something truly scary, but their reaction to it, and each other, is so far off the deep end that it's hard to believe either character really takes what they're saying seriously.

There is no attempt to connect the plot points with anything close to coherence. What we're left with is a sort of closed loop: These people do these things because that's how people in the X-Files act, but it's just not supported in the episode's storyline or writing. The final scene, where the expected bad guy shows up and the expected thing happens to make sure we get more episodes, is more fan service than anything.

It's fun to see Mulder and Scully back in action, and the show sticks with its original opening credits and visual language for this updated version of the original, but the spark just isn't there in the opening episode.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
What year is it

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

Nigmaetcetera posted:

There's only six new episodes which means no monster of the week episodes which have always been the only good ones.

they're doing 3 mythology episodes and 3 MoW episodes

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

we don't want to see your selfies. gently caress

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.

a hole-y ghost posted:

we don't want to see your selfies. gently caress

:(

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post

Head game on

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

jiharlequinade posted:

they're doing 3 mythology episodes and 3 MoW episodes

Ok maybe things are going to be alright.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Nigmaetcetera posted:

There's only six new episodes which means no monster of the week episodes which have always been the only good ones.

Agreed. I got really sick of the increasingly inane alien invasion storyline and had pretty much abandoned the show even before Duchovny left, but the one-off episodes were always good.

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
special agent john doggett reporting for duty :cool:

im a lovely replacement for mulder, but god drat it am I gonna lay that spanish chick partner of mine

Toadstrieb
Apr 15, 2011
Guaranteed schlock. If this reboot is worth a drat it'll be because it's better than the original, which wasn't good if you were over 18-22 when you were watching it the first time.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Can they just mercy rule this football game and start showing it now? I'm tired.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Traxis posted:

It's going to be terrible

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice


the truth is out there

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
i pity the fool who watched x-files for the ongoing plot and not to see giant leech mans and crazy death shadows and giant insect monster office managers

Pulp Can Move
Oct 4, 2012
I watched this show when it originally aired and I don't remember anything about it.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
I'm just hoping Hank Moody is still boozing and loving all the women.

Donovan Trip
Jan 6, 2007
I watched x file today and realized it ruined a generation of people. But the monsters look cool

A Sleepy Budgie
Jan 6, 2010

A friend in need
is a friend indeed
:unsmith:
I don't have much faith it'll be half as good as the early original episodes. Besides, I'm no longer 13 and drooling over Mulder. Skinner though :sparkles:

I've been avoiding watching previews because I absolutely ruined all the surprises from season 7 onward. That's when I really got into the internet and DAMMIT not gonna ruin it this time!!

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



i've watched the first 6 seasons of x-files a few times and i love them so i'm gonna watch this and probably be disappointed. the only good episodes in the original series were the monster of the week ones, and if this is a "storyline" episode i'll probably get bored and turn it off cus I stopped following the dumbass plot pretty quick

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



throughout the country there are frustrated nerds who have been watching football, confused, for seven minutes. i am one of those nerds

Cender
Sep 24, 2004

20 years ago I got to sit and wait for football to be over so I could watch some X Files.

I shoulda waited to watch it on demand.



e: ^^^^ what he said.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



22 minutes of people reflecting on a football match \, hrhrhrhrhr

The Kingfish
Oct 21, 2015


Eeeeeee

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
the monster of the week format sure does remind me of my own 'ex'-files, if u catch my drift ;)

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



be unstoppable

Cender
Sep 24, 2004

Well placed XCom commercial. The original show and original game went hand in hand for me back then.

Bread Dragon
Apr 7, 2012
me and some friends made some songs about x-files, I have a pointless pop culture existence

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
i never watched x-files but i used to date a girl who was obsessed with it and i found out she wrote erotic x-files fan fiction. she didn't own a cat but only because she was allergic

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
suck my balls

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



i wonder how much uber paid for that really forced mention lmao

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

looks like one of the entries in my 'exfiles', from around the time i hit rock bottom ;)

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Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

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