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Wait nevermind im gay
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Jan 25, 2016 15:08
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 15:37 |
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"Hey mom, wanna go out?"
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Jan 25, 2016 15:09
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The secret to asking a girl out is to wait for the exact perfect moment. Remember, the first date sets the tone for the whole relationship, so if there is even a single flaw, the whole thing is doomed. Hold out and wait for every single thing in your life to be perfect to ask a girl out.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:10
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Another important tip: There is nothing a girl craves more than big, showy gestures of affection. Make sure you ask out your girl in a very public way with a lot of fanfare. Not only will she appreciate you showing how much you mean to her (especially if this is her first real interaction with you) but also putting her on the spot makes it harder for her to refuse.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:13
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bop her in the head with a dinosaur bone and drag her back to your cave
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Jan 25, 2016 15:15
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Make sure you corner her in a private place first so she can't run away
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Jan 25, 2016 15:15
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Just dont, perfect 2d will never reject you
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Jan 25, 2016 15:18
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Enfield posted:bop her in the head with a dinosaur bone and drag her back to your cave Gonna do this ty all who have helped
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Jan 25, 2016 15:18
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The trick is to ask out a different, uglier girl first and make sure the girl you actually want to date sees you together. She will wonder "why did that guy ask out an ugly girl instead of me? Is it because I'm even uglier?" Her self esteem will plummet, that's when you swoop in and ask her out. She'll be so grateful that you even noticed her she won't stop to think about how ugly you are.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:25
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Release thousands of scorpions into her home while she sleeps. When she runs out screaming, you can look like a hero when you step in and "exterminate" them (really, you just go into her house and blow your scorpion whistle, which you have secretly trained the scorpions to obey). She will be obligated to go out with you as a reward for your service to her.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:36
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Bribe a witch to slip her a sleeping draught that puts her into an enchanted sleep. Kiss her awake. Not only will he have to date you but you also win her hand in marriage.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:38
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Im gay dick bandit
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Jan 25, 2016 15:39
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Release pigs numbered 1,2 and 4 into her house. Keep pig number 3 for yourself in case the date doesn't work out.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:39
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Calbiyum posted:Im gay dick bandit I have tips for men, too.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:39
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Applewhite posted:Release pigs numbered 1,2 and 4 into her house. Keep pig number 3 for yourself in case the date doesn't work out. I like this 1 too
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Jan 25, 2016 15:39
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Applewhite posted:I have tips for men, too. My tip works inside men  (;
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Jan 25, 2016 15:40
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Applewhite posted:Another important tip: This is very important. If you don't have at least a couple dozen parade floats announcing your presence, don't bother asking her out.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:41
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To get a guy, flatter him about the size of his dick. Even if he's straight, he will get an erection. Keep doing this whenever you see him and he will soon associate you with getting erections. He will eventually become gay for you.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:43
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Girls love hearts more than anything in the world. The bigger the better. Cut out an elephant's heart and leave it on her doorstep with a handwritten note telling her that the two of you belong together. If you don't have access to an elephant a cow's will probably do.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:44
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To signal to a man that you're gay and looking, constantly suck suggestively on a large, phallic object like a cigar or dildo.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:46
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Driving an expensive, flashy car shows women that you have plenty of resources at your disposal, triggering an instinctive ( ) reproductive urge that she cannot control. She will continue to date you as long as you constantly shower her with expensive gifts. There is no downside to this.
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Jan 25, 2016 15:50
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Applewhite posted:I have tips for men, too. do you have tips for FTM transexual men?>
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Jan 25, 2016 15:51
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Robo Reagan posted:do you have tips for FTM transexual men?> dating in which direction?
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Jan 25, 2016 15:54
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yes
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Jan 25, 2016 15:55
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Enfield posted:bop her in the head with a dinosaur bone and drag her back to your cave Tried that, now on sex offender registry. Thanks. PS dinosaur bone is what I call my penis
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Jan 25, 2016 15:57
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Colonel Cancer posted:Tried that, now on sex offender registry. Thanks. I don't even wanna know what your "cave" is. 
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Jan 25, 2016 15:59
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If a girl you like is dating someone else, wait until Halloween then wear the same costume as him. If the two get separated, you can impersonate her boyfriend and trick her into having sex with you. When she comments on how much better at sex he is than usual, reveal your true identity. She will then dump her old BF for you.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:02
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Hey op have you tried asking her out yet
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Jan 25, 2016 16:05
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Create a perfect simulation of the two of you and have it cycle through every possible scenario wherein you ask her out. When it finds one where you're successful, try it in real life.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:14
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When calculating the odds of your success in asking a girl out, add +1 to your dice roll for every inch of penis length and +2 for every inch of girth.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:16
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you have to make sure she's aware of these bonus
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Jan 25, 2016 16:20
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whoops, you asked gbs for advice about something so now you will never succeed at that thing even if you never read the thread. at least you specified the gender, so you can at least go gay(er) from now on.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:23
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Applewhite posted:When calculating the odds of your success in asking a girl out, add +1 to your dice roll for every inch of penis length and +2 for every inch of girth. Or you just cast Sleep
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Jan 25, 2016 16:24
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Applewhite dropping knowledge itt
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Jan 25, 2016 16:26
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Hit up a fatty and shame her into losing weight.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:28
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Beat up her boyfriend and steal his hat.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:29
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ChairmanMeow posted:you have to make sure she's aware of these bonus Yes. Telling her upfront is probably the best way, but if she's skeptical (which she will be if her INT score is high enough) you'll need to back up your claims with photos. Sample: "Hello, Jessica. Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? Before you answer, please take into consideration that my penis is ____inches long and ____ around."
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Jan 25, 2016 16:30
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Calbiyum posted:Wait nevermind im gay So you work from home, op? http://i.imgur.com/KFZrXHW.gifv
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Jan 25, 2016 16:30
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Usually I just ask my wife if she wants to be cucked and let her do the pickup work.
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Jan 25, 2016 16:31
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 15:37 |
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Basically the reverse of Homer Simpson's lobster trick. Very clever! The hardest part is figuring out which fat girl would look hot if she lost weight. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Jan 25, 2016 |
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Jan 25, 2016 16:31
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