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This is mostly what happens all day in britain:
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Jan 26, 2016 09:06
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Due to our lack of legal access to guns, all of our major cities are not unlike New York as portrayed in Escape from New York. Also the NHS Death Panels also ensure there are no old people (other than the royal family), as they track your down and put you to sleep a few days after your 59th birthday.
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Jan 26, 2016 09:11
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90% of British life involves complaining about Margaret Thatcher. If anyone asks you to do anything you don't want to do in Britain you can just respond with "Margaret Thatcher" and it means you don't have to do it. "Are you going to get up?" "No" "Why not?" "Margaret Thatcher" "Son, isn't it time you moved out and got a job?" "I can't" "Why?" "Margaret Thatcher" "I'm quitting university to play WoW all day and claim disability benefits for my mental problems" "Why?" "Margaret Thatcher" "I don't love you anymore and think it's best if we don't see each other" "Buuuuuutt" "*shhhhhh* Margaret Thatcher" Americans will probably understand this in 15 years time when they can do the same thing with Donald Trump
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Jan 26, 2016 10:14
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50% of British life involves complaining about the rain. 50% of British life involves complaining about "Europe".
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Jan 26, 2016 10:21
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its like how yoda was living in star wars, op the important parts of everyday life in britain (the Bog) are : coal, fog, inbreeding, subsistence survival, cold, misery, and scavenging for small animals such as fish, rodents, etc the unimportant parts of Bog life include: gum disease, possessing the right to elect political leaders, terraforming, and coming to terms with being inhuman mutants who rely on echolocation to navigate their swamp and capture prey
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Jan 26, 2016 10:34
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There's also public transport which costs a fuckton to use and a fuckton more to keep in good shape, which crates a weird loop of money for the people that handle it. You can also get macheted there so that pretty cool too
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Jan 26, 2016 10:55
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I'm in britain right now, taking time out from foraging in the bog for edible tubers to post this
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Jan 26, 2016 11:01
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Drink tea followed by another tea then a beer
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Jan 26, 2016 11:03
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since they dont have guns there people can't figure out how to kill themselves so they just eat spoonfulls of marmite until their kidneys shut down from the salt
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Jan 26, 2016 11:06
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Hell Yeah posted:since they dont have guns there people can't figure out how to kill themselves so they just eat spoonfulls of marmite until their kidneys shut down from the salt It's like we learned from Mary Poppins: A spoonful of marmite helps your kid-e-neys shut down, your kid-e-neys shut down, your kid-e-neys shut down, in the most delightful way.
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Jan 26, 2016 11:23
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We make our livings smuggling the last few remaining incandescent lightbulbs across the chunnel to fellow resistors against Brussels' tyranny. It's a lot like your underground railroad but not even slightly metaphorical.
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Jan 26, 2016 11:27
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Britain is a hotbed of crime and terrorism http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html
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Jan 26, 2016 11:34
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I spend most of my days sobbing over the 20% VAT. It's a tax which disproportionately impacts the working poor!
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Jan 26, 2016 11:34
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today in britaan land i have not even left my porch and i see three vagabonds in a white van going through my neighbours gardens
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Jan 26, 2016 16:33
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They dress up like old ladies and talk in screechy voices.
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Jan 26, 2016 16:51
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We have sex all day, OP. With your mum.
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Jan 26, 2016 16:55
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It doesn't even rain that much here. 
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Jan 26, 2016 17:06
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sout posted:It doesn't even rain that much here. nice try
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Jan 26, 2016 17:06
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dad gay. so what posted:nice try I'm not trying to say it's nice but the weather really is unremarkable, we're just all super grumpy about it.
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Jan 26, 2016 17:08
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sout posted:I'm not trying to say it's nice but the weather really is unremarkable, we're just all super grumpy about it. the saying "the sun never sets on the british empire" was actually coined because its so loving foggy all the time
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Jan 26, 2016 17:11
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sout posted:unremarkable and yet so many must remark
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Jan 26, 2016 17:11
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Top news story on the BBC right now is 'there is rain and wind happening.'
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Jan 26, 2016 17:11
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Britain would be one of the best places to live in the world if it wasn't full of British people.
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Jan 26, 2016 17:12
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Nation posted:today in britaan land i have not even left my porch and i see three vagabonds in a white van going through my neighbours gardens did the police catch them??! Why no - instead they called me and put me on the phone with some guy down the road who lost his dog last night. e: True britirsh crime
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Jan 26, 2016 17:12
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also the term "limey" is actually just a shortened version of the word "slimey" which is what the romans refered to brits as because their women were to slimey to rape 
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Jan 26, 2016 17:13
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THE DOG HOUSE posted:im not even joking OP I've legitimately thought the same thing. I've never heard of any company from the UK doing anything anywhere. like the population support industry cant ... possibly be all of it ... can it? British Petroleum hosed up your coast pretty good a few years back 
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Jan 26, 2016 17:14
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feedmegin posted:British Petroleum hosed up your coast pretty good a few years back it actually didnt really do anything. most of the oil was taken by the current into the english channel
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Jan 26, 2016 17:16
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dad gay. so what posted:it actually didnt really do anything. most of the oil was taken by the current into the english channel Then BP is paying some pretty massive fines for 'nothing'.
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Jan 26, 2016 17:22
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feedmegin posted:'nothing' this is your answer, OP
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Jan 26, 2016 17:22
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arent they wizards or something. whats the quidditch score, uh, mate
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Jan 26, 2016 17:31
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the welsh might be wizards. no one can understand what the gently caress they are saying so they might be saying spells for all anyone knows.
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Jan 26, 2016 17:33
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i live in britain so i'll try to help. because it's so miserable here and no one wants to go out we're the world leaders in e-commerce. there's still shops and supermarkets but they'll be gone soon. so there's a lot of jobs in that. developers, designers, managers, management consultants, buzzword talkers. Also everything used to be delivered by "Royal Mail" but the e-commerce boom has boosted the private courier industry. A lot of people work as private couriers now. If you buy something from Amazon more than likely it'll be delivered by a car full of Asian Rude Boys who drive around in their boy racer car smoking weed. Or you might get a real old white guy or a very abrupt juiced up Polish guy. other people work in call centres. these call centres buy your mobile (cell phone) number from e-commerce companies and then call you up asking about "your accident". If you're dumb enough to talk to them and you did actually have an accident they probably want to sue someone on your behalf and pocket a big chunk of the ££££. I'm not really sure tbh. if you live in london you can be a banker and make billions a week doing gently caress all apparently but renting a room to live in costs trillions so you have to commute a lot of people do legit get drunk in pubs all day, every day. no idea how they afford it a lot of people work for the NHS (socialised healthcare) where they mainly have to patch up people who get drunk all day, every day. if you ever have to go to an emergency room you'll see they're full of drunk people who've managed to hurt themselves in stupid ways, drunk people fighting, drunk pregnant people fighting. we have places called "Job Centre Plus" where unemployed people go to look for jobs and talk to advisors. These places have literal BOUNCERS and security guards like nightclubs as most of the unemployed people are drunk / high and fights break out constantly
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Jan 26, 2016 17:52
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CabaretVoltaire posted:we have places called "Job Centre Plus" where unemployed people go to look for jobs and talk to advisors. These places have literal BOUNCERS and security guards like nightclubs as most of the unemployed people are drunk / high and fights break out constantly
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Jan 26, 2016 17:56
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Jan 26, 2016 18:00
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yeah that's true but it's funny that their solution to dehumanising and hostile environment is "ARMED GUARDS!!"
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Jan 26, 2016 18:00
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I work for a UK-based company in the States and at a recent company-wide meeting there were a number of complaints from new employees (6 mos or less) that they didn't understand what the company did or precisely what their role was. I've been here almost 5 years and I'm still not sure myself.
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Jan 26, 2016 18:06
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jiharlequinade posted:I work for a UK-based company in the States and at a recent company-wide meeting there were a number of complaints from new employees (6 mos or less) that they didn't understand what the company did or precisely what their role was. I've been here almost 5 years and I'm still not sure myself. i guess you could fake your own death 
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Jan 26, 2016 18:07
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The perform a lot of plays-within-a-play.
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Jan 26, 2016 18:46
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dad gay. so what posted:i guess you could fake your own death why fake it?
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Jan 26, 2016 18:48
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The innovation team at Great Britain incubated the United States, so that's a pretty big feather in their cap.
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Jan 26, 2016 18:50
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