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Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I dunno if its because i got bugged to see the fifth element for nearly a decade but i loving hated that movie. Its the most blatant example of style over substance i have ever emcountered.

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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD
Sep 14, 2007

everything is yours
I got news for you there buddy.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

Milla was wonderful in Return to the Blue Lagoon, right? :aatrek:

A Buttery Pastry
Sep 4, 2011

Delicious and Informative!
:3:

HeartPlug posted:

I'd like a movie explanation for all the drat keys they had to find in the mansion as part of their weapons test.
They were there to control the movement of the participants, thus allowing the weapons test to be carried out in a confined area while still being able to introduce new weapons to test over time, without risking the participants becoming aware of this.

Purple Monkey
May 5, 2014

:phone:Hello

HeartPlug posted:

I don't think I've seen a movie with Milla Jovovich that I ever liked but I know it's not her fault

Dazed & Confused?

Jenny Agutter
Mar 18, 2009

Ramagamma posted:

I dunno if its because i got bugged to see the fifth element for nearly a decade but i loving hated that movie. Its the most blatant example of style over substance i have ever emcountered.

:whitewater:

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
I liked the universe the fifth element had. They elected a black president way before the USA did.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

HeartPlug posted:

I was also going to say I can't stand it because it reminds me too much of the directing of Moulin Rouge which also bugs me, so I guess I have some underlying issues I need to address :v:

Well, Baz Luhrmann is Australian, so your problem would be more with "gaudy poo poo" than "French people" it seems

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


HeartPlug posted:

I'd like a movie explanation for all the drat keys they had to find in the mansion as part of their weapons test.

88h88 posted:

I would enjoy the Resident Evil series more if like the early games they wasted viewers' time by having the characters requiring crests, emblems, gems and keys to get anywhere at all...

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog
Oh shiiiiiiiiiit the new RE goes back to the HIVE from the first movie? RE was one of my favorite movies when I was a teenager. Loved that laser-waffle hallway.

I've only seen the first movie. Maybe I'll marathon 'em all in preparation for this new one.

Babe Magnet
Jun 2, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIvQpcmqBtw

laser hallway scene is the best part of any of the movies

sulphix
Dec 15, 2008
Best thing is when a laser hallway based on that scene shows up in Resident Evil 4 (the game).

Puzzle in the game based off the movie based off the game.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
I dont remember a laser hallway in RE4 at all. I dont remember the poor village or the castle having anything like laser fencing.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Tenzarin posted:

I dont remember a laser hallway in RE4 at all. I dont remember the poor village or the castle having anything like laser fencing.

it's in the castle but it doesn't particularly stand out sandwiched between all the other crazy bullshit

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Tenzarin posted:

I dont remember a laser hallway in RE4 at all. I dont remember the poor village or the castle having anything like laser fencing.

Did you finish the game? The castle ends up having some super science poo poo going on in the basement, and the last act takes place on Science Army Island.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmg9TJ9TZg

It's just not the same without the music by Marilyn Manson.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

Babe Magnet posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIvQpcmqBtw

laser hallway scene is the best part of any of the movies

I love how even when they de-activate it, it waits until after it makes the guy into chips to stop.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
More memories why Resident Evil 4 was the best game.

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
One of my personal favorites, not just the base game but all the extras like Adas campaign and the mercenaries sub game were incredible.

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog
RE4 is getting an HD re-re-release for Xbone and PS4 soon. I'm tempted to pick it up but I've also played through the game like 5 times.

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006
:negative:
RE4 is an incredibly good game and replaying through the entire thing shouldn't take you more than one weekend and is well worth your time.

blackguy32
Oct 1, 2005

Say, do you know how to do the walk?
I played RE4 so much and I never picked up on the adaptive difficulty. I was playing through it recently on PS3, and I was doing so well, the game was starting to aggravate me. Ganados had tons of health, and I took so much damage. It was insane.

As for the movies, I have only seen the one with nemesis, and that movie made me never want to watch another one. I think it was the main character that aggravated me the most.

Baka-nin
Jan 25, 2015

That's the second one, and yeah the main character is very divisive. I feel sorry for the actress who played Jill Valentine, her character was completely gutted to make room for Alice slayer of the undead.

Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008

I remember getting into the second movie when it mainly follows Jill and Carlos for a while and then all of a sudden Alice drives through the church wall or whatever and then the tone and focus completely changes.

I forgot that the third movie was directed by Russell Mulcahy.

Quirk
Oct 11, 2004

You might surprise yourself.
I only see Resident Evil movies when I go to the movies, movies suck all I want to see is chicks shooting poo poo to cool music. Last movie I saw in the theatre was RE Retribution and they fixed that "story" bullshit movies have by just putting characters explaining why scenes are happening in between scenes happeneing. when Milla and the asian babe are running from the two Pyramid Heads in Tokyo is the coolest poo poo they're blasting them with automatic fire while oversized axes are cutting busses in half and poo poo. The only thing cooler was the beggining of Afterlife when there's like a million Millas shooting and chopping everyone with ninja awords for ten minutes. Paul WS Anderson made Mortal Kombat gently caress you.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




Quirk posted:

I only see Resident Evil movies when I go to the movies, movies suck all I want to see is chicks shooting poo poo to cool music. Last movie I saw in the theatre was RE Retribution and they fixed that "story" bullshit movies have by just putting characters explaining why scenes are happening in between scenes happeneing. when Milla and the asian babe are running from the two Pyramid Heads in Tokyo is the coolest poo poo they're blasting them with automatic fire while oversized axes are cutting busses in half and poo poo. The only thing cooler was the beggining of Afterlife when there's like a million Millas shooting and chopping everyone with ninja awords for ten minutes. Paul WS Anderson made Mortal Kombat gently caress you.

Are you me?

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



Hey! i'm resurrecting this un(dead) thread because Mierreneukker pointed me to it after i wrote this stupid and long bullshit review of my experience with RESIDENT EVIL 6: THE FINAL CHAPTER. Conclusion: it's really loving dumb!

The Saddest Rhino posted:

i watched the latest RESIDENT EVIL 6: FINAL CHAPTER.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoXqGvMBko0

my memories of the previous non-final chapters are spotty because i only recall these

1 - Alice, portrayed by milla jovovich, wears a hot red dress and there's a laser corridor, some dumb mercenaries get murdered and it's actually somehow consistent with the game plot. she escapes an Umbrella Corp underground lab called the hive controlled by an AI in the form of a little girl hologram "Red Queen", then emerge at raccoon city

2 - raccoon city zombie shenanigans, i only remember it because the jill valentine actress is strangely on-point

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLqa_f22wz8

but otherwise, the girl modeled by the Umbrella scientists for the Red Queen is part of the escape crew? Alice gets powers to control machines

3 - resident evil becomes brown instead of blue. the world is p dead by zombies. ali larter of heroes is a character. also, Alice has a ton of clones and 4 will be clones v zombies and i'm like ? ? ? ? ? wtf is even going on anymore with this stupid series

4 - the promised clones v zombies sequel hook ends with a nice wet fart, welp! i think they stopped bothering to use the zombie monsters from the games now? oh, there's still wesker, boring blonde shades-wearing villain of the game, to be boring. ali larter and alice fall off buildings shooting guns.

5 - by now it's obvious the zombies have become background threats and the whole thing is Alice v Umbrella Corp full time. starts off strong with a weird but kinda cool suburban vr set that Alice is trapped in. features Every Single Named Character from the game series. Ends with a fight in the white house. it's p bats!


RESIDENT EVIL SIX THE FINAL CHAPTER is... uh, it's not great, it's competent and better than Underworld: Blood Wars, it does some really batty stuff and it could be More Fun but it's hindered by plot nonsense. it also retcons stuff and thankfully, it got rid of A poo poo LOAD of the dumbass plots from the previous chapters, which means

(a) remember all those Every SIngle Named Character from the game series fighting in the white house? don't worry they all get killed offscreen before the opening credits even start, lol. also the opening credits still use early 2000s CG for the font graphics.

(b) Alice no longer has crazy rear end superpowers, thank loving god

(c) the dumbass plot of Alice's clone army is given a single scene throwaway this does not mean the clone plot is removed, it's just more batshit dumb

however, because Mr Jovovich wrote and directed this movie, Alice is still OP af and even much more crazier powerful than Donnie Yen's character in Rogue One. The retcons make zero loving sense but who cares, it's a resident evil movie and you are here for the sweet human vs zombie action, so

well there isn't much of those, i think there are some but milla is so powerful she kills off at least 2-5 boss monsters in the opening act alone. most of the action has this frantic, shaky cut every split second (especially the fist fights) and it gets p tiring after the 3rd or 4th, although fortunately the BIG BOSS fight scene is a lot better (Alice actually gets hurt really bad and the damage has impact, not like it makes a difference the immediate next scene). It's also in the laser room of 1! but not as cool.

also, the zombies are actually used like bio weapons in that Umbrella Corp has tanks with live human baits, leading zombies to decimate survivor outposts. Which is a p cool concept i guess!

Umbrella's mission is revealed in this movie and it's super loving dumb af they wanted to cause a biblical-scale apocalypse to wipe out humanity so umbrella corp top mgmt can be awakened in time to repopulate the world in their image, which is why zombies

this movie is v long, covering five acts
- opening act in destroyed washington DC
- umbrella tanks revealed
- survivor fort defence
- The Hive (return to the setting of movie one)
- neopaganistic mother maiden crone symbology, final fight in the Hive, conclusion

(my date fell asleep in act 3, arguably the worst)

do i recommend this film? i dunno, i thought it was fine but i wouldn't really say it's memorable. it seemed to lack the necessary punch or delicious dumb stuff like the suburban vr stuff in 5 or even the laser room fight of 1. also alice doesn't die because "we decided to tell you you'd die, because we wanted to know how cool and good a person you are and whether you'd sacrifice yourself for humanity, this plan has no flaws at all, and also we're just really cruel loving assholes" so i doubt this is as FINAL as it is unless milla jovovich is sick of doing these movies

tbf the production of this movie got one person killed and jovovich's stuntwoman into a 2 week coma then her left arm amputated, so i don't really blame her or Mr Jovovich if they want to stop making this series, just sayin'

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007
Your review has upped my hype. Thank you

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



i'm honestly tempted to watch the previous movies (since I forgot so much of them) armed with the new retconned details in the new one. I watched 30 minutes of the first movie last night and lol, i have already spotted at least 3-6 huge details completely rewritten to fit the BIG REVEAL in Final Chapter. i love this series.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender

The Saddest Rhino posted:

(a) remember all those Every SIngle Named Character from the game series fighting in the white house? don't worry they all get killed offscreen before the opening credits even start, lol. also the opening credits still use early 2000s CG for the font graphics.

Nooooo, my favorite thing about the last movie was this and now they are just copying the Ash vs Evil Dead plot!



They last 3 weeks wtf!

Tenzarin fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Jan 24, 2017

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



I have reached movie 3 and Alice gets controlled by an umbrella Corp satellite to suspend all activities, so she... Uh... Hacks the satellite using the microwave it emits to fry its mainframe.

Also she flame hadoken some birds

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




quote:

Umbrella's mission is revealed in this movie and it's super loving dumb af they wanted to cause a biblical-scale apocalypse to wipe out humanity so umbrella corp top mgmt can be awakened in time to repopulate the world in their image, which is why zombies

What does this mean? Are they vampires or frozen or something?

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



banned from Starbucks posted:

What does this mean? Are they vampires or frozen or something?

the original Hive in the first movie had a huge hidden section which houses all the top management of Umbrella in cryogenic sleep, to be awaken either in the event of an emergency (this movie) or when blond shades villain has determined all non-umbrella humanity has died and he has released the anti virus to kill off all the zombies.

caligulamprey
Jan 23, 2007

It never stops.

My only complaint about this movie: literally hundreds of zombie dogs and not a single one of them kicked. And, no, the clip from the first movie in the credits doesn't count.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

I am thoroughly impressed how a series of movies where they were clearly making things up as they went along, managed to have a final movie that was good at wrapping things up. It could have been so much worse!

It is disappointing that they glossed over the ending scene of the previous movie. They could have at least shot a rapid-fire sequence of Wesker betraying them and Alice managing to get away. It's not like they needed to use all of the actual actors for something like that. It's very video-gamey though to have the main character start with nothing despite their achievements in previous tales, eh Samus?

You can also tell that Iain Glen loved doing this poo poo. He is a delightful villain.

Mierenneuker fucked around with this message at 14:38 on Jan 27, 2017

MisterBibs
Jul 17, 2010

dolla dolla
bill y'all
Fun Shoe
Are the previous ones as batshit as this one?

caligulamprey
Jan 23, 2007

It never stops.

MisterBibs posted:

Are the previous ones as batshit as this one?

2 and 5 are, 3 has its moments. 4 is kinda plot heavy and 1 is garbage but you gotta start somewhere, I guess.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.


There are only 6 of these movies? I could've sworn there were at least a couple more.
Which one is the one where they fly to the pacific northwest in a helicopter to find a boat transmitting a radio signal or some poo poo? That was one of these movies, right?

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



4

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The REAL Goobusters
Apr 25, 2008
My friend just invited me to watch this movie at 8pm and I guess I'm gonna go! Is there a loving recap of the movies on youtube at all? I only watched up to like resident evil 3 (extinction? the one when they were in desert) and I barely remember that, but watched the first 2 several times. I just know that this series goes off the loving rails and I want to know at least what the hell has happened since

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