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Dear sir or madam, I am a man on a mission - a mission to discover new and sour candies. If a sour candy catches my eye, I buy it. I have been a long time consumer of your "Sour Brite Crawlers" brand gummy-worm, which, while slightly tart, is certainly a poor standard-bearer for a label such as "sour"! However, I have come to expect such tepid standards for acidity and tartness in worms, bears, watermelons, and kids, and so I have, thus far, been able to contain my disappointment. However, in the case of your so-called "Extreme Sour Bites", I cannot restrain myself any longer! Truly, I feel I am a victim of false advertising, of unkept promises and half-truths. This is because of a truth that rings loud and clear, a self-evident truth we all know - if a candy is advertised as "extreme" and sour, it must be uniquely corrosive, like a fresh lemon or a handful of sour-dusting, or the kiss of a baby angel. It cannot be more sweet than tart. It should not be a thoughtless collection of formless sugar-lumps, bereft of guiding principle or even the chief sour fruits, such as lemons, or perhaps blackberries. Your candy has none of those positive characteristics so essential to the quality of a sour confection It is outrageous that I should be misled into investing time, energy and, most of all, hope, into such a candy. It is clear to me that your tasting bureau does not have the slightest understanding of the principles of sour candy, however simple they may be. If this sort of malpractice were to spread to other candy manufacturers, the havoc that would be wrought on candy lovers like myself would be inconceivable, and it would be you, at Ferrara candy company, who would have to bear the terrible responsibility for such a mishap. In light of this, I ask that you forward this to your board or CEO so that they may correct course before you are all beyond redemption. Once again, I urge you to abandon your destructive, thoughtless ways. Yours in Christ, Ignatius J. Riley
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Jan 26, 2016 04:39
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 19:26 |
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i wonder if Jastiger will barge and and tell us how Iowan sour candy is far superior to its Illinoisan brothers' sour candy
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Jan 26, 2016 04:41
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Dear Mr Riley, gently caress off. Linda
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Jan 26, 2016 04:42
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Frog Act posted:Dear sir or madam, You're preaching to the choir
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Jan 26, 2016 04:48
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Volume posted:You're preaching to the choir Thank you for your support, sir. gnarlyhotep posted:Dear Mr Riley, As for this brigand, I can only assume that you have never been subject to the disappointment and raw anguish that accompanies a falsely advertised candy package. I think you will change your mind when, one day (and it happens to all of us) you settle down with a delightful treat, only to find yourself consuming something totally unexpected!
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Jan 26, 2016 04:51
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OP I have the candy you seek and desire. However, I will never share it with you for I stockpile it so no man or woman shall ever taste its greatness.  If you want it you must brave my 99 floor dungeon and take it!
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Jan 26, 2016 04:56
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 19:26 |
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Slide over to Indiana and get some Albanese sour gummi Bears. Delicious, best gummi there is.
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Jan 26, 2016 07:25
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