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Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe

Benne posted:

Undertaker/Strowman has a good chance of challenging Taker/Gonzalez for worst Taker Mania match

yeah, even Dave/Bryan said this. also a huge chance of someone being injured.

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rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Under the vegetable posted:

yeah, even Dave/Bryan said this. also a huge chance of someone being injured.

To be fair, those injury chances are probably because of Taker's age than anything. He'd probably be more likely to get injured wrestling a normal match than the giant nothingfest that Taker/Strowman would end up being.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

john cena will be back in time and even if he wasn't there's no way its strowman

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

strowman will be ringside for brock/bray like the rest of the wyatt family and that's all he's gonna do

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe

Great White Hope posted:

To be fair, those injury chances are probably because of Taker's age than anything. He'd probably be more likely to get injured wrestling a normal match than the giant nothingfest that Taker/Strowman would end up being.

yeah it's mostly the impossibility of a tombstone happening or taker lifting the guy for any significant move, or taker taking any significant bumps from a guy who's so green. they'd have to strictly brawl and do the hug submission and then the hells gate submission to keep it safe for everyone.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Give me Taker/Harper. The first half of the match can be them staring at eachother. The second half can be clotheslines and no selling.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

before dave knew that the new wrestlemania plan was after they used brock/taker at HIAC was going to be john cena he suggested strowman as a possible opponent simply because he couldn't envision any reason they were booking him strongly and everything since then has been confirmation bias with nothing on television to back it up, including undertaker and kane obliterating the wyatt family was zero assistance

Jiro
Jan 13, 2004

Abroham Lincoln posted:

Give me Taker/Harper. The first half of the match can be them staring at eachother. The second half can be clotheslines and no selling.

I too want to see an old man die in the ring against someone who works so loving stiff.

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Give Taker Kane or something. Everybody's just gonna tune out after the entrances anyway since Taker can't work anymore, and Kane's a safe worker.

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

Give Taker Kane or something. Everybody's just gonna tune out after the entrances anyway since Taker can't work anymore, and Kane's a safe worker.

i genuinely would love for a taker/kane mania match to happen, where they both retire at the end and the whole match is filled with stupid smoke and mirrors and supernatural powers and crap.

Minidust
Nov 4, 2009

Keep bustin'
Fastlane main event is sure to be a great match with a bad, unsatisfying finish.

It's way closer than I ever expected to get to a Brock/Dean match so I'll take it. :allears:

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

Give Taker Kane or something. Everybody's just gonna tune out after the entrances anyway since Taker can't work anymore, and Kane's a safe worker.

his last two matches with brock were great so why go out of your way to ensure he has a bad match

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy

oatgan posted:

his last two matches with brock were great so why go out of your way to ensure he has a bad match

Mostly due to Brock being a good wrestleman. You can't give Taker Brock AGAIN and there isn't much on the roster who can be a credible Kayfabe threat to Taker and also put on a good match with him.

Kane/Taker would be a lovely wrestling match but it would be a great spectacle which is all you really can ask for in a taker match nowadays.

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe
i bet they would put on a 3.5 star match today. kane busts out the mat wrestling he used on big show that one time that confused the poo poo out of JR

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjHpnoCag-g
good poo poo.

edit: i guess it's big show doing most of the technical wizardry in this match, i forgot

Under the vegetable fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Jan 26, 2016

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

oatgan posted:

before dave knew that the new wrestlemania plan was after they used brock/taker at HIAC was going to be john cena he suggested strowman as a possible opponent simply because he couldn't envision any reason they were booking him strongly and everything since then has been confirmation bias with nothing on television to back it up, including undertaker and kane obliterating the wyatt family was zero assistance

these are the things i tell myself when i stare at my expensive wrestlemania 32 ticket

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


Ambrose wins at Fastlane, beats HHH at Mania, and gets the Ultimate Warrior IC/WHC celebration.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Jiro posted:

I too want to see an old man die in the ring against someone who works so loving stiff.

Yeah yeah yeah.

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

Mostly due to Brock being a good wrestleman. You can't give Taker Brock AGAIN and there isn't much on the roster who can be a credible Kayfabe threat to Taker and also put on a good match with him.

Kane/Taker would be a lovely wrestling match but it would be a great spectacle which is all you really can ask for in a taker match nowadays.

Yeah, at this point there isn't really any strong candidates for him to go up against. I actually like the idea of Undertaker finally using his crazy kayfabe supernatural powers in a match and just seeing what kind of goofiness they can come up with, on both sides. Or even if they don't go that way with it, I'd rather see Taker/Kane than Taker/Sheamus, Taker/Rusev, etc. I'm assuming he'll just win again to keep Brock as the only one to beat him at WM, so let him beat a fellow old guy like Kane instead of Bray. Cena would have been just the perfect way to go, but since that can't happen you go with the significantly worse plan B.

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

To A Brand New Galaxy
I went to bed after Sasha was done. Why is Roman being given a #1 contender match?

GrimGypsy
Mar 27, 2007

Bray vs Lesnar will probably be cooler than most folks expect, but Wyatt could really benefit from a Wrestlemania win and there's no way Brock's first pinfall in years should be to him.

I know a lot of people here don't like Bray, but with a few more big wins and some stronger booking throughout his feuds with Cena/Roman/Undertaker, he could easily be the credible top heel right now instead of...whatever is happening right now.

I'm gonna be a Bray mark forever and it is very similar to being an Eagles fan :(

Molestationary Store
May 21, 2007

Bray is some fat guy who does a 'spooky' promo then loses, forever.

Bright Future
Oct 9, 2007

[let's] fuck that crazy-ass robot
I was really uncomfortable during the Rock/Lana interaction, kinda ruined the whole segment for me.

Thoughts:

AJ was cool.
Sasha/Becky are cool.
KO is a badass.
Skipping RR and Bella matches makes Raw less lengthy
Goldust
Authority are morons.

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?
Poor Big Show was so sad about not being a big famous movie star. Don't worry big guy, you'll always have Knucklehead.

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

TheChad posted:

I was really uncomfortable during the Rock/Lana interaction, kinda ruined the whole segment for me.

The WWE has wasted a lot of talent in recent memory, but the way they turned Lana from the best non-Heyman manager in years into a punchline--even before the TMZ thing when her whole personality became "Dolph Ziggler's mute acidwashed fuckbuddy"--is astonishing, to the point that even when Rock was being super-gross at her it didn't really phase me just because she's so meaningless as to be nonexistent now.

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

TheChad posted:

I was really uncomfortable during the Rock/Lana interaction, kinda ruined the whole segment for me.

Thoughts:

AJ was cool.
Sasha/Becky are cool.
KO is a badass.
Skipping RR and Bella matches makes Raw less lengthy
Goldust
Authority are morons.

You forgot the part where Bo Dallas beat Flo Rida in a rap battle

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Literally the only thing I saw from Raw was the rap battle and it was funny and Slater going nuts after every line Bo said falling on the mat and shouting BOOM and poo poo was really entertaining

Five star Raw

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Kane and Taker are in this weird zone where they've had like a hundred matches, of which maybe 2 or 3 of which were passable and the vast majority were completely unwatchable but for some reason people still get excited at the concept of the match.

I get the same feeling of dread at the prospect of their names together as I do Sheamus and Orton.

Mr. McGibblets
Sep 17, 2015

by Deplorable exmarx

Skinty McEdger posted:

Kane and Taker are in this weird zone where they've had like a hundred matches, of which maybe 2 or 3 of which were passable and the vast majority were completely unwatchable but for some reason people still get excited at the concept of the match.

I get the same feeling of dread at the prospect of their names together as I do Sheamus and Orton.

Simple, put them in a casket match and somehow they both lose and ride off into the sunset.

Trip Larsen
Oct 4, 2006

My great-grandfather started Larsen Pork Products with little more than three pigs and a killing hammer. Today, I'm proud to say, we kill more pigs than pig hepatitis.
The Rock owns and I hope he lives forever just so WWE can occasionally have insane spontaneous promos like what we got tonight.

Can't wait for crowd favorite Ambrose to job clean to Roman at FastLane just like crowd favorite Bryan did last year, while Lesnar gets distracted by the Wyatts for a feud everyone knows Lesnar is winning.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
We all joke about shoveling and HHH burying fools left and right, but like others have said, the Rock showed up and verbally buried HOW many people in a span of so few minutes? If HHH buries people with a shovel, Rock buries them with a backhoe.

And he does it so flawlessly and naturally and magnificently. The Rock forever. A hundred years The Rock.

VileLL
Oct 3, 2015


no way strowman gets a singles match at mania

absolutely not a chance

at least rowan isn't the rumour

VoLaTiLe
Oct 21, 2010

He's Behind you
The Rocks promo was amazing and even if the Lana bit was a bit cringe worthy I don't think it came off too bad. She is pretty much buried at this point for what ever reasons WWE have so any TV time is good for her.

I also felt new day did a pretty good job going up against the rock on the mic.

But out of it all the Big Show crying to himself as Rock spouts off what could have been had me in bits.

To add Raw didn't really make sense I was thinking that they were going to have a tournament for the #1 contenders match at fastlane but in the end it was just two random picks and Lesnar who wasnt even there.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Went to bed after the Rock stuff, what booking gymnastics did they do to make the Fastlane main event?

"Well Roman, I see you have won a match. Congrats you will face your friend Dean Ambrose... and Brock Lesnar who isn't here and did literally nothing to be inserted into the match!" lol that they're going to have Roman pin Dean after the reaction he got at the end of the Rumble.

VoLaTiLe
Oct 21, 2010

He's Behind you

bradzilla posted:

Went to bed after the Rock stuff, what booking gymnastics did they do to make the Fastlane main event?

"Well Roman, I see you have won a match. Congrats you will face your friend Dean Ambrose... and Brock Lesnar who isn't here and did literally nothing to be inserted into the match!"

Thats pretty much what they did however Roman and Dean had just won a tag match

Abrasive Obelisk
May 2, 2013

I joined th
ROVPACK IN THE HOOUUUUSE!
:vince:
he still knows...




No chance that this can't end well!

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

what if dean wins though

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Ostentatious posted:

what if dean wins though

HHH gets to brush off his skinny fat insults.

Orgophlax
Aug 26, 2002


It's a shame WWE has mismanaged their heels so terribly that there was no one to step in for Rollins and Trips has to hold the title.

We know WWE doesn't have the balls to have Ambrose win, so the question is whether they want Trips/Lesnar at WM again, or give Reigns his WM moment he was denied last year. My bet is on Reigns.

EDIT: Also, I love how commentary kept calling an almost 40 year old man a kid (Styles).

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jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Reigns w/Rock v Trips w/Vince with SCSA as guest ref

WM ends with WWE Champion Reigns drinking beer with Rock and Austin CHEER HIM DAMMIT

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