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City of Tampa posted:yeah but if you live in a "right to work" state you aren't going to get poo poo anyway, so might as well lie lie lie Pretty sure you are confusing "At will employment" state with "Right to work" state. <*> Master of all facets of employment law.
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Jan 28, 2016 19:59
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Dave_Indeed posted:
Actually I'm a developer and I Google everything and now I'm pretty sure I know less about programming than I did when I graduated
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Jan 28, 2016 20:08
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Isaac posted:I dont think ive even used a resume in my life i think it's what you call it when you've paused a video game but now you wanna start playing again
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Jan 28, 2016 20:30
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MiracleWhale posted:i think it's what you call it when you've paused a video game but now you wanna start playing again
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Jan 28, 2016 20:36
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Kitchner posted:One of my friends who used to be a call centre manager lied about being able to speak French on his resume. fake
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Jan 28, 2016 20:45
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Until I finally changed fields and went back to school, I was told to hide some of my education and experience to have a better shot at getting entry level jobs. Though I've fluffed the facts in some interviews, lying on the resume itself seems to be a pretty bad idea. Especially lying about something important to the job.
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Jan 28, 2016 20:53
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I've never lied on a resume, and I'm a terrible liar in real life so any untruth written would be immediately uncovered. Also I am bad at not writing in passive voice.
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Jan 28, 2016 20:53
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I've helped interview a bunch of people who have lied on their resume. They come in and think they aren't going to get tested on all the technical poo poo they say that they know lol.
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Jan 28, 2016 20:59
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Fire Barrel posted:Until I finally changed fields and went back to school, I was told to hide some of my education and experience to have a better shot at getting entry level jobs. Though I've fluffed the facts in some interviews, lying on the resume itself seems to be a pretty bad idea. Especially lying about something important to the job. If you lie about having a vital skill and it's obvious you can't do the job when you start then yeah that's bad. If you're someone who dropped out of college and you're lying about finishing that 4 year LibArts degree to get the middle management job? You probably aren't going to get caught and it isn't going to matter that you didn't take that last year of philosophy or whatever the hell. Most of the time educational requirements are just bullshit to cut down on potential applicants and no one even checks. just don't do some dumb poo poo like say you graduated from an ivy league with honors or whatever.
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Jan 28, 2016 21:00
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Orkin Mang posted:fake
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Jan 28, 2016 21:35
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FishionMailed posted:If you lie about having a vital skill and it's obvious you can't do the job when you start then yeah that's bad. exactly. you should only lie on your resume if there's some semi-reasonable way you can rationalize it to yourself as being simple "embellishment". don't just make up poo poo that you're obviously going to get called out on immediately and which is actually going to impact your ability to make even a passable attempt at doing the job
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Jan 28, 2016 21:44
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Well duh. I'm not going to tell them I'm a misanthrope and previous lovely jobs have destroyed my work ethic.
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Jan 28, 2016 21:57
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do you even put your gpa on the resume if you have years of experience? when i look at resumes i don't give a poo poo about that.
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Jan 28, 2016 21:59
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A misanthrope posted:do you even put your gpa on the resume if you have years of experience? when i look at resumes i don't give a poo poo about that. Unless you got a 4.0 or close to it, then no. Also I kinna lol when people put their frat on their resume.
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Jan 28, 2016 22:05
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H.H posted:a man who can pocket something off the desk at the end of the interview? hell, i'd hire him on the spot. a straight shooter for middle management watch out or the next thing he'll pocket is your job
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Jan 28, 2016 22:06
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Pawn 17 posted:Unless you got a 4.0 or close to it, then no. hmm i wonder how many places actually check transcripts...
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Jan 28, 2016 22:06
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Yeah, i dont really have a phd in pounding pussy. It's just a masters..
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Jan 28, 2016 22:07
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Smash it Smash hit posted:everytime i interview they ask about whats my biggest issue and i say i care too much but irl id ont care about anything at all my biggest issue is the something awful forums dot com llc
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Jan 28, 2016 22:07
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MiracleWhale posted:my biggest issue is the something awful forums dot com llc *spends next 15 minutes explaining SA to a horror-stricken interviewer
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Jan 28, 2016 22:08
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A misanthrope posted:i also want to stay forever. but one day they'll probably figure out i don't do anything. my man!!! 
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Jan 28, 2016 22:10
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A misanthrope posted:*spends next 15 minutes explaining SA to a horror-stricken interviewer see i say i'm gay a lot but it doesn't actually mean i'm gay, that's just a little thing we do
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Jan 28, 2016 22:11
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MiracleWhale posted:my man!!!  i've been in the breakroom bathroom for half an hour. my legs are going numb. MiracleWhale posted:see i say i'm gay a lot but it doesn't actually mean i'm gay, that's just a little thing we do "by the way do you have stairs in your house? oh..whats that? um, never mind it's just a thing we...never mind."
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Jan 28, 2016 22:15
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I was once briefly associated with a company that gives people basic training in Oracle/Linux/Scripting for a few months. After training then give you a resume with like 10 years of experience at a big bank (mine said around 6 or so years at Citadel in NYC plus some other shorter jobs) and then try to hire you out at $60/hr (but paid maybe 25-35). They don't telly you about the fake resume part until after the training. I actually did go to school for CS, and I had moved about an hour from my previous location to work with this company, so I thought maybe I could wing it. So I sat in a room next to a phone for about a week or two and did a few phone interviews but I'm a terrible liar and I fuckin hate DB work so I just stopped showing up one day and went back to my old job making kinda lovely money in embedded software.
Colonel Taint fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Jan 28, 2016 |
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Jan 28, 2016 22:17
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I don't lie on my resume because my job positions are super loving competitive and everyone knows each other, and it's not a great idea to get that kind of reputation I just exaggerate a bit and use an embarrassing amount of buzzwords
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Jan 28, 2016 22:20
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as far as paradigm shifts go, i definitely support that proactively
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Jan 28, 2016 22:38
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A misanthrope posted:i've been in the breakroom bathroom for half an hour. my legs are going numb. lmao i'm glad i'm not the only one who does this one of these days i'm gonna get sucked into a really good thread and starve my legs of blood flow for so long they have to amputate
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Jan 28, 2016 22:52
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Orkin Mang posted:fake Maybe the guy said "well I'm not getting this job" in perfect French
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Jan 28, 2016 23:10
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Can I say I'm a pro tier googler? That's all that matters now
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Jan 28, 2016 23:25
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Pawn 17 posted:I've helped interview a bunch of people who have lied on their resume. They come in and think they aren't going to get tested on all the technical poo poo they say that they know lol. I do security app work. HR always makes is tough because they bring in candidates who expect to "press butan get report" when we market the position as a more dive-into-the-code-find-what's-wrong thing. "I assign you a website. I tell you the site has been known to have problems with SQL Injection. Describe to me how you will test where this is happen" (many different ways to get this: front end, back end, source code, even logs if they are verbose enough) "I do a Nessus scan" (Nessus can scan webapps, but it worthless) "You get back the Nessus report 400 pages long. No sign of SQL injection in the report. What do you do with it?" "... give it to the developer" They have no clue why they are there and it's just a contractor shoving people in. Even had a guy interview on the phone, nail it, and the contractor sent in a completly different person pretending to be the guy on the phone. It was super obvious what was happening and banned that company from being considered.
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Jan 28, 2016 23:40
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Nope. Paid a guy to do it for me! Thanks resumes to interviews!
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Jan 28, 2016 23:43
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Im just joshin that guy is straight legit and i owe my foot in a lot of doors to it.
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Jan 28, 2016 23:43
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MiracleWhale posted:lmao i'm glad i'm not the only one who does this sometimes the motion detecting lights go out and i'm sitting in the dark with my little phone screen lighting my face
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Jan 29, 2016 00:19
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Philosopher King posted:Im just joshin that guy is straight legit and i owe my foot in a lot of doors to it. I heard he sold the business and just farms them out to India now or something.
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Jan 29, 2016 00:22
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QUEEN CAUCUS posted:I heard he sold the business and just farms them out to India now or something. He sold the business (including access to his SA account) and didn't tell anyone. So goons thought they were dealing with him when they weren't. Also, I've never seen this mentioned, but in one of his threads someone posted about how they lost a job opportunity because resume goon was doing his work with a pirated copy of Word. I guess the hiring company could tell and told the guy they wouldn't hire someone with that kind of "moral character" or something. It was funny. Edit: Also he (or the new company) plagiarized the OP of the LinkedIn thread in BFC in an email they sent out to current/former customers.
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Jan 29, 2016 00:28
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City of Tampa posted:just say you have a bachelors degree, nobody really checks except huge companies with HR departments and you don't want those jobs anyway This man speaks the truth. I've been courted by at least a dozen companies since graduating, and by that I mean I got through the phone interview, got flown out, fed, shown the property and the job, and had an offer made. To my knowledge, not a single one of them ever checked into if I had the degree I was listing on my resume. The best part is, most jobs don't expect you to know how to do the job anyway, so as long as you can lie convincingly, you're in. Hell, references are becoming a thing of the past. I've only been able to provide them twice, and that was it. My current company won't give out references to employees on their way out because HR is afraid the people will gently caress up at their next job and we'll get sued for falsely representing the skills of the guy.
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Jan 29, 2016 00:28
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Jan 29, 2016 04:55
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Lying about your experience and not getting caught is a fundamental part of the job interview process.
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Jan 29, 2016 05:07
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I lie all the time, why would I suddenly turn into Mr. Truth when money is on the line?
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Jan 29, 2016 06:12
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One of Yahoo's CEOs lied about his education and got away with it, but he was a lovely ceo that nearly ruined the company and one of the shareholders did some digging and found out he got his degree from a school that didn't even offer that degree when he graduated. He was fired just a few months into the job. Still walked away with millions of dollars in a golden parachute and immediately found a job as CEO of another company. There's probably a lesson here somewhere.
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Jan 29, 2016 13:51
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no, i can actually fit a traffic cone in my rear end
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Jan 29, 2016 13:55
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