What if 3D printers existed in 1936

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What if 3D printers existed in 1936

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somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

Cleopatra lived closer to the building of Pizza Hut than the pyramids. The Great Pyramid was built cerca 2560 BC, while Cleopatra lived around 30 BC. The first Pizza Hut opened in 1958, which is about 500 years closer.

There was more time between the Stegosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex than between Tyrannosaurus Rex and you. The Stegosaurus lived 150 million years ago, while the T-Rex lived only 65 million years ago.

In the span of 63 years, we went from taking flight to landing on the moon. In 1903 the Wright brothers successfully flew a plane for a whopping 59 seconds. 38 years later, in 1941, the Japanese used flight to bomb Pearl Harbor. Only 28 years after that, Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969.

France was still executing people by guillotine when Star Wars came out. Star Wars premiered in theaters in May 1977. The last execution by guillotine took place September 10th of the same year.

The first pyramids were built while the woolly mammoth was still alive. Most mammoths died out 10,000 years ago, a small population still survived until 1650 BC. By that point, Egypt was halfway through its empire, and the Giza Pyramids were already 1000 years old.

Betty White is older than sliced bread. Frederick Rohwedder invented sliced bread in 1928, while Betty White was born in 1922. Bread had existed prior to that , just not in the pre-sliced form.

When Warner Brothers formed, the Ottoman Empire was still a thing. Harry, Albert, Sam, and Jack Warner opened their first theater, the Cascade, in New Castle, Pennsylvania in 1903. Meanwhile, the Ottoman Empire spanned from 1299 to 1923, when Turkey became an independent nation.

The jewelry company Tiffany & Co. has been around longer than Italy. Charles Lewis Tiffany and John B. Young founded Tiffany & Young in 1837, while Italy didn't become a country until 1861.

There are whales alive today who were born before Moby Dick was written. Some of the bowhead whales living off the coast of Alaska are well over 200 years old. They were born well before Moby Dick was written in 1851, and might have been the very animals to inspire the tale.

The fax machine was invented the same year people were traveling the Oregon Trail.The first fax machine was developed by Alexander Bain in 1843, meanwhile The Great Migration began across America.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 10:59

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:39

Quellar: Dec 21, 2007; quit staring at me

Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:

What if you could go back in time and kill hitler?
What if you could take an untraceable 3D-printed gun back in time to when a world power was being taken over by a megalomaniacal narcissist blaming a nation's ills on a disadvantaged ethnic group? What if you lived in a 1930s european country where an inexplicably charismatic leader diverted blame from the rich to some brown-skins in an appeal to working class whites?

Wouldn't it be crazy? To be the guy to pull it off? Hitler was a pretty terrible dude. Let's fantasize about changing history. The 1940s, specifically.

Have you ever considered that it might be better to kill Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin instead?

# ? Jan 29, 2016 11:04

Microwaves Mom: Nov 8, 2015; by zen death robot

Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:

What if you could go back in time and kill hitler?
What if you could take an untraceable 3D-printed gun back in time to when a world power was being taken over by a megalomaniacal narcissist blaming a nation's ills on a disadvantaged ethnic group? What if you lived in a 1930s european country where an inexplicably charismatic leader diverted blame from the rich to some brown-skins in an appeal to working class whites?

Wouldn't it be crazy? To be the guy to pull it off? Hitler was a pretty terrible dude. Let's fantasize about changing history. The 1940s, specifically.

I'd make sure he finished the job.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 12:12

Creed Reunion Tour: Jul 3, 2007; by Cyrano4747; Grimey Drawer

Baronjutter posted:

I 3d printed this little frame to stick a microswitch in to control my model train turnouts.

I think if I could get hitler into model trains he'd develop debilitating autism and not hurt anyone.

Oh god I love model trains! Do you have a thread?

# ? Jan 29, 2016 12:22

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

then ur daddy would've dumped one in a plastic charlie chaplin miniature and we wouldn't have to worry about this thread

# ? Jan 29, 2016 13:31

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

I'd probably kill jfk if I could go to the 40s, then Nixon would've been president in 1960 instead and hopefully declare himself god King of the USA and reign supreme to this day.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 16:27

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Kuato posted:

I'd probably kill jfk if I could go to the 40s, then Nixon would've been president in 1960 instead and hopefully declare himself god King of the USA and reign supreme to this day.

thats one small step for man, one giant leap to suck on dem toes

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:23

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

i would go back in time and stop the op from making this thread

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:43

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

3d print multiple hitlers

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:54

World Kraid Center: Oct 18, 2009

hitler diverted attention at brown-skins..?

communists, gypsies, jews, slavs, gays, invalids and capitalist-industrialists are stereotypically brown? i don't know if i'm understanding this OP right. the obvious event to interfere in with a time machine would be the signing of the treaty of Versailles.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 19:07

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

If 3D printers existed in 1936 your grandma would be rolling in 3D printed dildoes.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 19:51

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Poetic Justice posted:

Cleopatra lived closer to the building of Pizza Hut than the pyramids. The Great Pyramid was built cerca 2560 BC, while Cleopatra lived around 30 BC. The first Pizza Hut opened in 1958, which is about 500 years closer.

There was more time between the Stegosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex than between Tyrannosaurus Rex and you. The Stegosaurus lived 150 million years ago, while the T-Rex lived only 65 million years ago.

In the span of 63 years, we went from taking flight to landing on the moon. In 1903 the Wright brothers successfully flew a plane for a whopping 59 seconds. 38 years later, in 1941, the Japanese used flight to bomb Pearl Harbor. Only 28 years after that, Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969.

France was still executing people by guillotine when Star Wars came out. Star Wars premiered in theaters in May 1977. The last execution by guillotine took place September 10th of the same year.

The first pyramids were built while the woolly mammoth was still alive. Most mammoths died out 10,000 years ago, a small population still survived until 1650 BC. By that point, Egypt was halfway through its empire, and the Giza Pyramids were already 1000 years old.

Betty White is older than sliced bread. Frederick Rohwedder invented sliced bread in 1928, while Betty White was born in 1922. Bread had existed prior to that , just not in the pre-sliced form.

When Warner Brothers formed, the Ottoman Empire was still a thing. Harry, Albert, Sam, and Jack Warner opened their first theater, the Cascade, in New Castle, Pennsylvania in 1903. Meanwhile, the Ottoman Empire spanned from 1299 to 1923, when Turkey became an independent nation.

The jewelry company Tiffany & Co. has been around longer than Italy. Charles Lewis Tiffany and John B. Young founded Tiffany & Young in 1837, while Italy didn't become a country until 1861.

There are whales alive today who were born before Moby Dick was written. Some of the bowhead whales living off the coast of Alaska are well over 200 years old. They were born well before Moby Dick was written in 1851, and might have been the very animals to inspire the tale.

The fax machine was invented the same year people were traveling the Oregon Trail.The first fax machine was developed by Alexander Bain in 1843, meanwhile The Great Migration began across America.

200 year old whales?!

http://www.medicaldaily.com/can-marine-biology-help-us-live-forever-bowhead-whale-can-live-200-years-cancer-316424

Some whale hunters in 2007 fished a whale with 1890 era harpoons embedded in its blubber

Crazy

# ? Jan 29, 2016 22:27

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

We had oceanic cable connecting Britain and the US by telegraph in the 1850s

It was basically tar, iron, and tree sap. It took three attempts to lay it down

The queen and president exchanged correspondence over 16 hours, marking the first time we'd communicated transatlantic within less than 10 days.

It degraded and failed within a month or so cause some dick on the UK side kept jacking the voltage up until the insulation failed. It took 15 years before funding could be secured to lay down another transoceanic cable. Meanwhile cables were laid under the Red Sea and other places and the concept was improved upon.

The first commercial satellite was launched before transoceanic telephone cables were laid in the 1960s

Because fiber optic was necessary to make it work: the groundwork / master patent for fiber optic communication was held by AT&T from 1889~ when bell made the photo-phone by using light to transfer electric signals across 700 yards.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 22:32

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

Dave_Indeed posted:

Idiot.

If there was 3D printers in the 30's there wouldn't be anything cool like printed guns. It'll just be a bunch of top scientists laying around in a circle loving these things:

Sexy

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:05

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

If there was 3d printers in 1936 they'd print barnacle jim, and we'd be several million levels of irony further by today.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:12

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

a hole-y ghost posted:

If there was 3d printers in 1936 they'd print barnacle jim, and we'd be several million levels of irony further by today.

theyd try but he would still be printing (cause his face is so long lol)

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:21

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Nooner posted:

theyd try but he would still be printing (cause his face is so long lol)

welcome back nooner

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:43

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

a hundred boners posted:

hitler diverted attention at brown-skins..?

communists, gypsies, jews, slavs, gays, invalids and capitalist-industrialists are stereotypically brown? i don't know if i'm understanding this OP right. the obvious event to interfere in with a time machine would be the signing of the treaty of Versailles.

kaiser wilhelm did nothing wrong

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:48

Bluemillion: Aug 18, 2008; I got your dispensers
right here

Poetic Justice posted:

Cleopatra lived closer to the building of Pizza Hut than the pyramids. The Great Pyramid was built cerca 2560 BC, while Cleopatra lived around 30 BC. The first Pizza Hut opened in 1958, which is about 500 years closer.

There was more time between the Stegosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex than between Tyrannosaurus Rex and you. The Stegosaurus lived 150 million years ago, while the T-Rex lived only 65 million years ago.

In the span of 63 years, we went from taking flight to landing on the moon. In 1903 the Wright brothers successfully flew a plane for a whopping 59 seconds. 38 years later, in 1941, the Japanese used flight to bomb Pearl Harbor. Only 28 years after that, Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969.

France was still executing people by guillotine when Star Wars came out. Star Wars premiered in theaters in May 1977. The last execution by guillotine took place September 10th of the same year.

The first pyramids were built while the woolly mammoth was still alive. Most mammoths died out 10,000 years ago, a small population still survived until 1650 BC. By that point, Egypt was halfway through its empire, and the Giza Pyramids were already 1000 years old.

Betty White is older than sliced bread. Frederick Rohwedder invented sliced bread in 1928, while Betty White was born in 1922. Bread had existed prior to that , just not in the pre-sliced form.

When Warner Brothers formed, the Ottoman Empire was still a thing. Harry, Albert, Sam, and Jack Warner opened their first theater, the Cascade, in New Castle, Pennsylvania in 1903. Meanwhile, the Ottoman Empire spanned from 1299 to 1923, when Turkey became an independent nation.

The jewelry company Tiffany & Co. has been around longer than Italy. Charles Lewis Tiffany and John B. Young founded Tiffany & Young in 1837, while Italy didn't become a country until 1861.

There are whales alive today who were born before Moby Dick was written. Some of the bowhead whales living off the coast of Alaska are well over 200 years old. They were born well before Moby Dick was written in 1851, and might have been the very animals to inspire the tale.

The fax machine was invented the same year people were traveling the Oregon Trail.The first fax machine was developed by Alexander Bain in 1843, meanwhile The Great Migration began across America.

Big fan of this post.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:52

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Bluemillion posted:

Big fan of this post.

Yeah these lil factoid posts own, Your Dead Gay Son's shorter one is cool too.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 00:40

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

The first commercial satellite was launched before transoceanic telephone cables were laid in the 1960s

well yeah, because between 1850 and 1960 they descovered a little thing called "radio waves" making that trans-atlantic telegraph less important

# ? Jan 30, 2016 15:46

Ambrose Burnside: Aug 30, 2007; pensive

if consumer level 3d printers existed then nothing would have changed at all b/c its a bustass manufacturing technique that produces almost nothing of any material consequence

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:16

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

Man if they had 3D printing in 1936 that means they would have had advanced manufacturing, personal computers, and polymers too. So today we would be way more advanced technologically.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:21

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

So I travel back in time, materialising next to a young sleeping Hitler with my 3D printer & computer. I then 3D-print him a hook nose and glue it on his sleeping face.

My plan is that Hitler will get called a a Jew and bashed until the fake nose falls off, which will give him empathy for Jews.

Unfortunately he ascribes the fake Jew nose to a jewish plot and repeats history to "get even". Because no one can change the past.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:45

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

I'd have the 3D printer make me up a handful of flirty chiffon and I'd do a fan dance for him and seduce him. Then I'd blackmail him for my silence until he gives all the Jews spa days but for real ones not the ones they got.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 18:22

rakovsky maybe: Nov 4, 2008

OP is saying we should kill Trump, geez how did y'all miss this.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 18:27

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

i would 3D printe 3 more 3d printers

# ? Jan 30, 2016 18:43

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:39

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

BigBadSteve posted:

So I travel back in time, materialising next to a young sleeping Hitler with my 3D printer & computer. I then 3D-print him a hook nose and glue it on his sleeping face.

My plan is that Hitler will get called a a Jew and bashed until the fake nose falls off, which will give him empathy for Jews.

Unfortunately he ascribes the fake Jew nose to a jewish plot and repeats history to "get even". Because no one can change the past.

Maybe your plan started it all in the first place.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 18:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What if 3D printers existed in 1936

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