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thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
jacket, pants zipper, or ...other. ever done it? time to fess up GBSers. one time i was really drunk and ready to get it on (as i am in fact a sex haver) but i was wearing a zip up hooded sweatshirt. long story short, she gave me "the job" (this is what i call a blowie which some called a suck job) and in a haste to take the jacket off, I got my erect head caught in part of the zipper and zippered a bit of it right off.

hurt like a motherfucker. a lot like a burning sensation (rug burn type of thing). my junk was out of commission for like 3 days. healed up cmpletely after a month or so though. now youd never know ive zippered my dick :downs:

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Harrower
Nov 30, 2002
When I was 5 I was jumping around excitedly in my feety pajamas before bed time. I was unzipping and zipping up the zipper repeatedly and my hog got caught in a relentless pinch. It was indelibly etched into my mind because you just can't forget your hog getting brutally pinched.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
My boots have zippers on them and I gotta make sure my dick is curled around the other way first.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
frankybean!

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Yes. Hurts, OP.

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.
Not my dillz, but I zip up my nutsac all the time.

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Yes, it hurts like hell. Its like a burning/stinging/aching sensation all at once.

No long term damage though thankfully.

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005

Just my BALLS!!

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
I go commando and sometimes I zipper my pubes.

Pulp Can Move
Oct 4, 2012
lol if your dingus is big enough to catch in a zipper. checkmate, normal dickhavers :smug:

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005

"This would of never happened if I had micro penis!!!!" declares the zippered dick man.

Gay Hitler
Dec 11, 2006

I'm gay as heil!

Yeah I have hth

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
no

do you guys not wear underwear????

roymorrison
Jul 26, 2005
Got my nuts once

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
I did the other day fukkin hurt bro

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014
i've got a scar from it, wanna see

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
Yep, nicked the tip once, hurt like hell.

Stik3
Jan 28, 2015

From President of the colonies to this.
3 times, only one of the times didn't get me good, two of them were pretty painful experiences.
sort of like that guy who got shot by the airsoft gun.

painful

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014

Stik3 posted:

3 times, only one of the times didn't get me good, two of them were pretty painful experiences.
sort of like that guy who got shot by the airsoft gun.

painful

rest in peace, dick

El Cid
Mar 17, 2005

What good is power when you're too wise to use it?
Grimey Drawer
I couldn't stand living in constant fear of dick-zippering, so I switched to button fly jeans.

LadyAmbien
Oct 22, 2015
Once my dick got stuck in a gopher hole. Boy, did that suck.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
Yes. Jesus that was terrible. Thanks for reminding me. *cringe*

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
In my jeans at age 9. I'll never go commando in anything with a zipper again

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
button fly, motherfucker.

zippers on jeans/pants are like velcro on shoes - if you have it youre either 6 or retarded

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014

Oberleutnant posted:

button fly, motherfucker.

zippers on jeans/pants are like velcro on shoes - if you have it youre either 6 or retarded

no wonder everyone in the us uses zippers :tinfoil:

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
No, OP, largely because my member is too girthy to fit through the fly of most off-the-shelf pants and I have to pull them partway down to pee.

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
when i was like 17 i was super drunk and zippered my scrot in my pants and it's been button fly ever since

AbbadonOfHell
Jul 16, 2004
You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.
Once, it was very painful but not enough to get really stuck thank goodness. Still, whew.

Also, this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_dyOxAfEzI&t=440s

Nickelodeon actually aired this at 10 am on a Sunday.

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
I do not have a penis but I have definitely zippered my pubes when going commando

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord
A gas stations bathroom in the middle of Texas.
A shaft caught in the maw of metal teeth.
Only a little bit of blood.

Necros
Jul 23, 2003

when i was 3 i got my sack caught so bad in my zipper that firemen had to get it out :(

Neutrino
Mar 8, 2006

Fallen Rib
dick.zip

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
I preemptively removed removed my dick years ago just so I couldn't have this happen to me.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
any chicks zipper their clit? pls explain how that happened slow and in detail

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

A misanthrope posted:

any chicks zipper their clit? pls explain how that happened slow and in detail

haha gross can you imagine how big a clit would have to be for that to happen? ew lol.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I tuck it into the kangaroo pocket on my ballsack first op

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Applewhite posted:

haha gross can you imagine how big a clit would have to be for that to happen? ew lol.

haha yeah totally nasty lol hey wouldnt it be funny if someone found pics of big gross clits and sent them to us? haha like where exactly would you even find pictures like that?

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

A misanthrope posted:

haha yeah totally nasty lol hey wouldnt it be funny if someone found pics of big gross clits and sent them to us? haha like where exactly would you even find pictures like that?

Ew omg it would be hilarious if someone posted them in this thread but I wouldn't even be able to look at them haha. Like, imagine if someone logged onto Bigclitlovers.com/members/clitgallery and posted like, the grossest big clits from it? What a freak!

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
haha

haha

hahahaha

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vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Yes, what is the next question

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