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A month ago, my wife, daughter and I moved into a new apartment, taking over the lease of the previous tenants. I stay at home with our daughter usually, and my wife works. At 4:53 today my wife got this text from the landlord, a property company, out of the blue: "We have showings tomorrow at 11:15, 12:00, & 2:15. Thanks." Wife: "What?" "We will be showing the property to potential tenants for August 1 tomorrow during the times stated. Thanks." Wife: "Is someone from [terrible property company] going to come out, or do we have to show them?" "We will show it to them. You are welcome to be home but don't have to be. The deadline on the renewal passed a few weeks ago. Have you changed your mind about renewing?" We haven't changed our minds about renewing because my wife is looking for a job that might take us out of town, but we won't find out until March and have told them so. We told them so again and got no response. So in my fit of anger and pique, I turn to you passel of devious bastards. I am pretty pissed off about this, and need to get the lovely property management company to understand that they can't treat people this way and expect to get away with it. I also want the new prospective tenants to understand what type of treatment they can expect if they decide to move in in August. I do not want to get arrested or poison the relationship so thoroughly that they refuse to lease to us again (it's a pretty sweet place and rent is like $775 for 2B/2B). It is a dilemma. To aid in my struggle I have composed a partial list of tools to perhaps aid me: - two pheasant carcasses (I was going to boil them to make broth but haven't gotten around to it yet) -shotgun, unloaded -baby, possibly unloaded, often not -giant framed marijuana thing from my dad's time as a cop -two dogs who sometimes listen to commands -other things- lizard, door stop, a definite lack of pants, alcohol I would appreciate your thoughts on how to resolve this.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:26
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 05:13 |
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Be kind, rewind.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:28
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poo poo on his doorstep and then light his house on fire
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Feb 4, 2016 01:28
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Depends on state laws. In some states they have to give two days notice before entering the property.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:28
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August huh.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:29
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load that which is unloaded and then unload that whcih is now loaded on his cracker rear end.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:30
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Infest the place with mold.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:31
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poo poo in the furnace before the showing
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Feb 4, 2016 01:31
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cover yourself in poo poo and jump ff your balcony e: also shoot your balls off halfway down so they spaltter onto the landlords window
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Feb 4, 2016 01:32
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you do nothing since you have not given them a renewal notice and they are in the business of making money off their property investment, hth op
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Feb 4, 2016 01:32
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Fojar38 posted:poo poo in the furnace before the showing And in the toilet tank.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:32
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Hang out in your underwear during the showing. Have things messy-clothes on the floor, unwashed dishes in the sink from the night before, etc. Unscrew all lights except one in every single solitary socket in that entire place so the rooms look dark and forboding and unwelcoming. Close the windows and throw dark throws on the walls. If you have any pro drug stuff (420 poo poo, pot leaf stuff) make sure it's out in plain sight as long as it's not illegal stuff. Download a soundboard for your phone and go in to "Take a poo poo" and recreate the scene from dumb and dumber while people are doing the walkthrough. If you're in a conservative part of the world, throw a rainbow flag up or make a shrine to bernie sanders. If you're in a liberal part of the world, talk to them endlessly about guns and how slavery hurt white america too. E: It is February and they are showing for August. That's kinda nuts depending on where you live. Where DO you live, OP.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:33
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Read your lease then punch yourself in the face.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:34
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you should probably just be really normal then tell your landlord that you don't appreciate him doing things like that and fart really loud while you're doing it like so loud and smelly but keep talking and make sure that you keep looking him in the eyes the whole time you're farting and make sure that he knows just by that fucken stare that you posted something about a shotgun in relation to him on the internet and he will probably be sorta scared and he will never do that again
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Feb 4, 2016 01:34
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the great deceiver posted:you do nothing since you have not given them a renewal notice and they are in the business of making money off their property investment, hth op ya this is what I'm thinking too. OP is this the first time you've rented a place?
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Feb 4, 2016 01:34
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act normal during the viewing and strike up a normal conversation with the prospective new tenants until about half an hour in, then drop trau and begin to skid around the carpet with your anus like a dog continue the conversation as though nothing is happening
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Feb 4, 2016 01:35
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as a homeless libertarian naturalist i dont know about those contract words or apartments really but i am very curious about your pheasants, what did you shoot them with, how long do they take to clean, and how do they taste?
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Feb 4, 2016 01:36
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extra stout posted:as a homeless libertarian naturalist i dont know about those contract words or apartments really but i am very curious about your pheasants, if there is not gold trim around the lease then it is invalid and he is able to invoke an arcane english common law that allows him to stay in his domicile as long as he wants for free and also cook meth
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Feb 4, 2016 01:37
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You're the flaky tenant, lol. You're the prick in the scenario, because now the landlord has to figure out how to keep making money and not trample all over you too.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:38
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print out hundreds of goatse pictures pick a random room that you know they will visit and make it the goatse room, wherein you cover all the walls with goatse
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Feb 4, 2016 01:39
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Murder-suicide your family and frame him for it? Or maybe don't ask goons for advice. Either one, really.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:39
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Subleasing for a couple months and didn't renew. Not sure if there are notification rights and time requirements. To be useful. Loose open robe. Nothing underneath. If shy, put a clown nose on your cock
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Feb 4, 2016 01:40
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the great deceiver posted:you do nothing since you have not given them a renewal notice and they are in the business of making money off their property investment, hth op this is correct. OP's personal situation is not their problem if OP has not renewed.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:40
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So to clarify they allowed the previous tenant out of a lease which they most likely are not required to do (Sounds reasonable) by assigning it to a short term tenant (Again, sounds reasonable) in a place that you say is very reasonably priced and nice. In exchange for their behavior that seems very generous they are asking to you to either sign a new lease or allow them to show your place under both your and their supervision in accordance with the signed lease that you have with them. You find this unreasonable and want to make their business more difficult. And they are the terrible ones. OK.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:41
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laminate ur dick
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Feb 4, 2016 01:41
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IM GAY LIKE 3O posted:this is correct. OP's personal situation is not their problem if OP has not renewed. I'm pointing out again that they are showing for tenants in August. It is February. They're showing it six months ahead of schedule? That sounds kinda nuts to me unless he's in a really big city or something. Which, he may be. But with the current info it seems... weird? Also most states have tenant laws. I was given 19 hours' notice to inspection via text message when legally it has to be 48 hours in writing. I still let her in, she swooned over how spotless the house was, and is now trying to charge me thousands for poo poo we didn't do to the house or aren't responsible for (poo poo like fixing a leak in the roof that I reported four times while I lived there). If you play nice with landlords, they'll gently caress you anyway.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:43
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just don't put on any clothes OP
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Feb 4, 2016 01:44
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:E: It is February and they are showing for August. That's kinda nuts depending on where you live. Where DO you live, OP. A college town in the midwest. the great deceiver posted:you do nothing since you have not given them a renewal notice and they are in the business of making money off their property investment, hth op We moved in a month ago to the day. It's February for gently caress's sake, and they're looking for renter's for August and giving us less than 24 hours notice. Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:just don't put on any clothes OP Finally! Some sensible advice. Kumo fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Feb 4, 2016 |
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Feb 4, 2016 01:44
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Kumo posted:
Whoa! you might have a loaded baby in the house. What the hell man!
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Feb 4, 2016 01:46
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You're screwed OP. Saying "hey we don't know if we're gonna renew yet" doesn't get you poo poo.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:46
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Kumo posted:A college town in the midwest. If it were one viewing I'd expect that it was a person going to school in august but 4 showings in a day is ridiculous.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:46
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ElectricSheep posted:laminate ur dick
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Feb 4, 2016 01:47
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you have a shotgun. Safety first
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Feb 4, 2016 01:47
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Kumo posted:We moved in a month ago to the day. It's February for gently caress's sake, and they're looking for renter's for August and giving us less than 24 hours notice. ok, fair enough now why don't you look up the renter's laws in your state to see how much notice they are supposed to give you. or else dress your dick up like a reindeer and wave it at them, idk
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Feb 4, 2016 01:47
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ElectricSheep posted:laminate ur dick wife says no
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Feb 4, 2016 01:48
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Kumo posted:A college town in the midwest. So what you are saying is in a college town they have are showing an apartment after said college has most likely sending out early if not regular acceptance letters for a lease starting right before the Fall semester.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:49
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Kumo posted:wife says no it will always keep you hard, and is pretty good birth control
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Feb 4, 2016 01:49
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Kumo posted:We moved in a month ago to the day. It's February for gently caress's sake, and they're looking for renter's for August and giving us less than 24 hours notice. http://ptla.org/rights-tenants-landlord-entering-your-home
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Feb 4, 2016 01:50
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Change the lightbulbs to haunted house ones that dim and flicker at random. Sit in a rocking chair after having your wife apply heavy makeup under your eyelids to make them look baggy while you rock your kid back and forth silently. TUrn the tv on but have it on to like static.
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Feb 4, 2016 01:50
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 05:13 |
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Kumo posted:wife says no
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Feb 4, 2016 01:51
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