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Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
Maid stole my pills and my condoms

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Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
give me money

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

but did she also steal your heart?

Paper Diamonds
Sep 2, 2011

Tonsured posted:

Maid stole my pills and my condoms

Condoms? Bitch please, as a true 1% I just bust in whomever I want and then have my bodyguard drive them to an abortion/provide enough heroin to OD.

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHrHMT2yK7k

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

give me money

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

give me money

Red Minjo
Oct 20, 2010

Out of the houses, which is the most blue?

The answer might not be be obvious at first.

Gravy Boat 2k
How is being a part of a violent biker gang op?

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
give us money

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

occupy this thread

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
I heard someone brag about their platelet cell count while roaring drunk, the emotional-social context of this action implied he was proud to be a smoker.

Ever see a couple dining at a super expensive restaurant and you just loving know by how mismatched they are that they're definitely loving, like one is DEFINITELY obligated to put out tonight. Or Put in I should say judging by his partner, she looked a bad early 50s in the dimmest lighting a hand-blown glass chandelier by a famous artist could provide.

marathon Stairmaster sesh
Apr 28, 2009

ALL HAIL CEO NUGGET
1988-PRESENT

Who's the Dan Ankroid character in this Trading Places remake since OP is the Eddie Murphy stand-in?

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?


True story, when I hired my current housekeeper for the first time she was much more thorough than my last one and left a bunch of unused condoms that had fallen behind my giant headboard neatly organized on my nightstand. I'm pretty confident that it wasn't just unused condoms back there so what I am is I gross and my maid deserves to work for someone better.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Tonsured posted:

Maid stole my pills and my condoms

better than your kids i guess

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

better than your kids i guess

My "kids" are a hedgehog, a bird, and a dog and I had to leave them behind. After a week of empathizing with these people I came home and legitimately wanted to strangle all of them for being an economic burden to society.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Tonsured posted:

My "kids" are a hedgehog, a bird, and a dog and I had to leave them behind. After a week of empathizing with these people I came home and legitimately wanted to strangle all of them for being an economic burden to society.

im confused. do you want your pets to steal your pills or not

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

im confused. do you want your pets to steal your pills or not

I dunno. I dunno about anything anymore. Like I'm starting to think
I should have went with that Obama train thread
Idea went like-literally this "I wish Obama built that train." I dunno I just dunno I think I need a nap.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Tonsured posted:

I dunno. I dunno about anything anymore. Like I'm starting to think
I should have went with that Obama train thread
Idea went like-literally this "I wish Obama built that train." I dunno I just dunno I think I need a nap.

ehh. the obama train gets off in less than a year. have a good nap buddy

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Enfield posted:

give us money

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
condo life must rule!!!

ChairmanMeow
Mar 1, 2008

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
Lipstick Apathy

Tonsured posted:

Maid stole my pills and my condoms

One week and it's straight to the accusations.
Get some sleep, have an epsom salt soak. Make sure you didn't put them some where or give them away. Unless you are 100% positive don't blame the maid. She put up with you fools.
If she did, I'm sorry, still do the first bit. Easy come.

www
Aug 4, 2010

i dont want your stinking money

Leroy Dennui
Aug 9, 2014

Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones
:gaysper::frogbon:

Tonsured posted:

My "kids" are a hedgehog, a bird, and a dog and I had to leave them behind.

Man, you have to go back and get your Amiibos!

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


the best part of being a 1%er is buying a pharmaceutical company that makes a critical malaria medication and then doing the entire year's supply in lines off a prostitute's rear end during the Super Bowl halftime show

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


bitches be dyin from malaria and i be like, don't-care-ia, lmao!!!

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Three Olives posted:



True story, when I hired my current housekeeper for the first time she was much more thorough than my last one and left a bunch of unused condoms that had fallen behind my giant headboard neatly organized on my nightstand. I'm pretty confident that it wasn't just unused condoms back there so what I am is I gross and my maid deserves to work for someone better.

like a fly to poo poo

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
eat the op

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Broenheim posted:

eat the op

op's nipples are where 1% milk comes from

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


MiracleWhale posted:

op's nipples are where 1% milk comes from

and boy are they sore

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
Guys I gotta know I can trust you this is just too juicy. I gotta know for reals, yall hat doffers?

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry
I worked for a multimillionaire, became close friends with him. His life was super miserable and he did cocaine on the regular. One day he got super paranoid out of nowhere and started insulting me nonsensically, fired me screaming. It was for the best really. gently caress rich people.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Top or bottom 1%, OP?

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

give me money

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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Don Tacorleone posted:

Top or bottom 1%, OP?

powerbottom 1% :smug:

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