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Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
*finally looks up from face of books at clock for first time in several hours*

oh poo poo, 5 minutes left, guess i better do all that paperwork and cleaning i was supposed to have done 3 hours ago

*leaves paperwork half done all over office, doesn't touch various messes they left all over the house*

k bye night shift

*doesn't warn night shift about the broken loving dish washer they wrecked so water leaks everywhere*

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BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

oh those zany day shift scamps. whatll they do next?

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
*doesn't change somebody all day*

it'll be fine if the piss is soaked through to the mattress, swing shift will take care of it

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
*covers the bed with a blanket without actually making it*

Good! Great. This is fine.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Nights shifts for suckers and the mentally ill

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3755276

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Isaac posted:

Nights shifts for suckers and the mentally ill

mentally ill sucker here to confirm

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Wanamingo posted:

*doesn't change somebody all day*

it'll be fine if the piss is soaked through to the mattress, swing shift will take care of it

serious post, ive dealt with this so many loving times, ive been tempted to weasel on poo poo co-workers to managers i would rather stab in the eye than talk to normally

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

*doesn't do a goddamn thing all day*

*leaves you with a category 5 drug fill that should have been done by 4PM*

Night shift - "Oh well I guess they get to sanitize in respirators for 8 hours tomorrow since we did the fill and broke down the line!"

*Leaves cleanroom dirty, stages respirators for night shift at 2PM and doesn't bother to do any sanitization or do a goddamn thing all day*

Night shift - "WELL LOOK AT THAT, ANOTHER DAY AT WORK"

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

Wanamingo posted:

*doesn't change somebody all day*

it'll be fine if the piss is soaked through to the mattress, swing shift will take care of it

Sounds like a cool job you have, where piss is a factor.

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
*day shift*: sit in office working until its time to go home.

*night shift*: sit in office at home working until its time to go to bed.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Minimalist Program posted:

Sounds like a cool job you have, where piss is a factor.

Piss is a factor in any job if you think about it.

Bareback Werewolf
Oct 5, 2013
~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Minimalist Program posted:

Sounds like a cool job you have, where piss is a factor.

Somebody's got to take care of the olds.

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Minimalist Program posted:

Sounds like a cool job you have, where piss is a factor.

Thank you

poop is a factor too

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
*morning shift clocking in*: Morning Susanne, how's the piss chart looking?

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

SweetKarma posted:

Somebody's got to take care of the olds.

and mentally defunct teenagers

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
Honey the boss is coming over for dinner and if everything isn't perfect I'm going to be up to my elbows in piss mattresses until the merger, and you just burnt the roast!

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Minimalist Program posted:

*morning shift clocking in*: Morning Susanne, how's the piss chart looking?

you joke but we do actually keep a poop chart

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Wanamingo posted:

Thank you

poop is a factor too

you know how long you've been doing this is too long? when you no longer make whiskey face at the scent

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

Wanamingo posted:

you joke but we do actually keep a poop chart

c....could you post the poop chart...?it's for a project...

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

you know how long you've been doing this is too long? when you no longer make whiskey face at the scent

I've been at this job for a week now, and on the second day they had me doing this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou5W7u0pYkE

didn't even flinch :cool:

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Wanamingo posted:

I've been at this job for a week now, and on the second day they had me doing this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou5W7u0pYkE

didn't even flinch :cool:

:hfive:

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Hey, guess what? If you work with paralyzed people you gotta help them poop!

So you slap a glove on your hand and do what you gotta do to get that butthole pooping.

The things that have to be done when people's bodies break down on them is pretty gnarly.

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
at least it doesn't end up as poo poo mountain on the floor unless your aim is that godawful

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Why was this thread locked and ulocked...

Whats night shift up to

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
retarded thread retarded OP

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

amityville anus posted:

retarded thread retarded OP

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Isaac posted:

Why was this thread locked and ulocked...

Whats night shift up to

serious business between shitposting

ie my pos phone locked up while scrolling for no reason -_-

ScrubLeague
Feb 11, 2007

Nap Ghost
hurf durf there are 50 people here so I can pretend to do work but really someone else does it sucks for the night crew who doesn't have that luxury

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007
who wants to go get us some lunch? we have six dozen places to choose from instead of just the 24 hour mcdonalds or gas station subs

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
I'm the mysterious stranger that keeps messing with the night crews chairs.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Did they ever get to the bottom of which of those guys really was spartacus. Im talking about in the movie Spartacus

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
I hosed up my keyboard with spilt coffee. Gonna swap keyboards with random night crew guy because gently caress them.

The Biscuit
Jul 2, 2007
Half of everything is luck.

Wicker Man posted:

I hosed up my keyboard with spilt coffee. Gonna swap keyboards with random night crew guy because gently caress them.

Since they are not there, um, just take it back?

ScrubLeague
Feb 11, 2007

Nap Ghost

Isaac posted:

Did they ever get to the bottom of which of those guys really was spartacus. Im talking about in the movie Spartacus

It was the guy who had acted in other movies both before and after that.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
I used to work like 10pm till 8am once a week and wed do lots of speed amd finish all the work in a few hours then do more speed and furiously smoke ciggies

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

The Biscuit posted:

Since they are not there, um, just take it back?

Well, naturally. I even took one of their pens :getin:

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009

Nap Ghost
lol if your job has shifts

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

LordArgh posted:

lol if your job has shifts

the best part of working a salaried position is that every day of work you manage to get out of working is a paid day off. if it's a government position then there's no downside whatsoever because it's not as if you have an actual workload that you need to get through.

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bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

I work days like normal people, I'm not a retard who starts work past 11am

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