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*shoots self* (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 8, 2016 19:12
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:11 |
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I mean I just copy paste a template I find online
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Feb 8, 2016 19:13
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Creates a thread and posts "*shoots self*"
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Feb 8, 2016 19:14
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lol resume just be unemployued obama and bernie got ya covered
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Feb 8, 2016 19:15
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:lol resume just be unemployued obama and bernie got ya covered Now That's What I Call An American Dream Vol 2016
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Feb 8, 2016 19:31
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I'll be a shoe-in for that resume-writing job!
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Feb 8, 2016 19:42
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*has rich parents* *hopes to one day have said parents pay for an MBA* *doesn't realize drool is falling out of mouth* *is ruining America*
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Feb 8, 2016 19:45
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why won't anypony hire me?
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Feb 8, 2016 19:47
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That guy's prices were outrageous it was like what $300-400 for a resume that was basically just a lovely pirated MS Word template?
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Feb 8, 2016 19:50
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lol at anyone lurking who paid for those you dumb loving babies
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Feb 8, 2016 19:51
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eric posted:*shoots self* i just couldnt rememmber the places i work
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Feb 8, 2016 19:54
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*resume is just six feet of poo poo stained toilet paper*
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Feb 8, 2016 19:57
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i have an extremely painfull priapism that will not go away it all started this morning i woke up at around 5 am and it felt like i had to pee, i also had morning wood i did not want to get up out of bed so i laid there and tried to go to sleep igrnoing the urge to pee and the boner i woke up again at 930 and still had the wood and the full bladder i releived myself in the shower and then tried to stroke one out to get the erection to go away it is now 150 pm and i stil lhave the boner its been 9 hours please help its throbbing in pain and my whole groin area is sore and tender
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Feb 8, 2016 19:59
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tomstuart posted:i have an extremely painfull priapism that will not go away come over
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Feb 8, 2016 20:01
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Applewhite posted:*resume is just six feet of poo poo stained toilet paper* your hired!!!
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Feb 8, 2016 20:02
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tomstuart posted:i have an extremely painfull priapism that will not go away You're hired!
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Feb 8, 2016 20:02
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remove the penis by the base, let blood drain, and re-attach. a simple procedure you can do yourself at home
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Feb 8, 2016 20:03
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Parallax Scroll posted:why won't anypony hire me?
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Feb 8, 2016 20:11
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Remember it's a short half twist to the right not the left. If you twist the penis left it'll just keep rotating in the socket and prob get harder
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Feb 8, 2016 20:15
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im in searious real pain here please someone help me *the interviewer looks on in complete disgust and horror as you continue to stand on the table, pants down, balls held akimbo*
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Feb 8, 2016 20:21
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tomstuart posted:i have an extremely painfull priapism that will not go away if you get called in to an interview, remember to crawl on all fours and meow like a cat when entering the interviewer's office.
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Feb 8, 2016 20:28
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*gets handed back blank paper, full refund*
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Feb 8, 2016 20:30
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I once helped a Somalian coworkers write their resume, and in return, they gave me some canned goods???
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Feb 8, 2016 20:30
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if you pay someone hundreds of dollars to write your resume you deserve to be robbed
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Feb 8, 2016 21:27
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I still remember the lovely banner ads that kept trumpeting that crap.
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Feb 8, 2016 21:30
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i copied an example one off the internet then i said gently caress it and let recruiters do the work for me because im lazy but somehow in demand 
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Feb 8, 2016 21:37
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FishionMailed posted:That guy's prices were outrageous Also he was just using the same template for everyone despite saying "it was customized!" thats why he didn't want to 'release samples' with some page long excuse as to why samples are bad. Also he was like living in south africa or laos or something lovely and was also just paying some "helpers" some shtity wages to help him copy+paste into templates so he didn't have to do anything. Best of all, he later sold his "company" to someone else without telling anyone, but gave the new owners his username/password so they could keep advertising, posting under his name swindling goons, as if pretending nothing changed Xaris fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 21:41
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Relevant experience: Got REAL beefy, bitch
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Feb 8, 2016 22:11
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I'm finally gonna get a job and move out of the basement
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Feb 8, 2016 22:13
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Im thinking about becoming The Cryptkeeper
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Feb 8, 2016 23:06
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Enter the crypt adventurer....if you dare...
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Feb 8, 2016 23:07
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Nothing lives in the dark of the crypt...yet they still walk...and hunger...
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Feb 8, 2016 23:08
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Xaris posted:I don't think he was charging that much, maybe more like $200 (which is a loving lot if you are unemployed), but yes the resume goon (dustingduvet?) was using a pirated version of MS word that left the cracker's group name in the word files meta-data. A goon called him out and he came up with some dumb excuse "but don't worry I totally bought it legitimately now!". This guy is a genius, I'd pay him $200 if he taught me how to come up with scams like this.
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Feb 8, 2016 23:09
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There is a powerful sword buried with an ancient king. They say powerful magicks protect his sarcophagus
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Feb 8, 2016 23:10
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City of Tampa posted:This guy is a genius, I'd pay him $200 if he taught me how to come up with scams like this. scamming goons prolly is pretty hard now since there's like not many left and they're too jaded. Xaris fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Feb 8, 2016 |
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Feb 8, 2016 23:10
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Gender: How dare you
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Feb 8, 2016 23:11
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Those who return from the crypt talk of a dark sorceror in the bowels on the earth. Some even say he looks alot like me. The Cryptkeeper
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Feb 8, 2016 23:12
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When I was first out of school I was applying to be a computer janitor with a local company and I hacked together this nicely typeset unnecessarily fancy resume with LaTeX. I was super proud of it and then suddenly got the bright idea of "hey, you know what would be better than just emailing them a pdf? I'll send them a link to it hosted on my personal web site because it's 2002 and that's still kind of impressive!" I got an email back saying their content filter won't let them look at the link because of inappropriate language. My dumbass edgy blog was on the same domain  If only I'd found a MS Word template
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Feb 8, 2016 23:16
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On break i smoke ciggies near the bins behind the crypt
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Feb 8, 2016 23:17
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I just started dating a high level copywriter and she breezed through my resume like an NBA player throwing clothes into a laundry basket from across the room.
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Feb 8, 2016 23:19
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