ITT it's Bernie Sander's first day in office

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT it's Bernie Sander's first day in office

City of Tampa: May 6, 2007; by zen death robot

*Bernie's motorcade is hit by an airstrike on the way to swearing in, Obama and Hillary appear on TV together and declare that Bernie was a militant and was planning on attacking the inauguration.*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:22

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 11:57

Zorodius: Feb 11, 2007; EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

*argues with a painted portrait*

*loses argument*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:26

spud: Aug 27, 2003; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

* gets cranky if he has to stay up later than 6pm *

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:51

Prav: Oct 29, 2011

*walks a lap around white house counting fasces*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:03

NotWearingPants: Jan 3, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Nap Ghost

*I don't give a hot gay gently caress what the CIA says, I want to hear about the aliens*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:37

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

*Dies of old age*
*Shits self*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 15:12

plain blue jacket: Jan 13, 2014; IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

I don't think we have enough marines to do that

conscript their boyfriends and husbands

# ? Feb 9, 2016 16:31

skeletonotherkin: Sep 26, 2014

Strudel Man posted:

Its too bad CPUSA is a clown show, cuz thats an awesome flag.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 18:28

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

*Makes the most stirringly progressive inauguration speech in the history of the American Presidency*

*Is Assassinated almost immediately thereafter*

*Becomes 10x more powerful in his spirit form*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 18:41

MONKEY TRASH!: Jan 8, 2006

*takes off mask*

*it was both koch bros wearing his flabby body like a pantomime horse*

*koch bros actually rather small gremlins cackling with glee*

*koch bros turn america into their favorite book 'the handmaid's tale'*

*thousand years of darkness*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:04

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

as lovely a candidate as clinton is, she at least is different from sanders, so they actually have things to debate on. which is more than anyone can say for the republican lineup, whose debates basically revolve around which one hates women and browns the most.

Don't forget the heavily-competitive events "saying Obama is worse than everyone else says he is", "sounding the most Ruff N Tuff", and the always-contested Ronald-Reagan-shrine-size competition

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:26

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

thatfatkid posted:

*is larry david*
*is mistakenly assassinated*
*jewish trombone music plays*

spoiler please for curb your enthusiasm series finale

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:32

Homo Simpson: Oct 21, 2014; by Smythe; Lipstick Apathy

Germstore posted:

*graciously thanks President Trump for inviting him over for tea in the oval office*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:32

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

I don't think we have enough marines to do that

Luckily the navy does a lot of poo poo on land these days too

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:34

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Prorat posted:

*curb your enthusiasm becomes a documentary*

wait how can something be a double documentary

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:35

Prav: Oct 29, 2011

skeletonotherkin posted:

Its too bad CPUSA is a clown show, cuz thats an awesome flag.

it's a good coat of arms, bit traditional maybe, but an atrocious flag, much too busy

(not that the current one isn't an eyesore as well)

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:42

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

skeletonotherkin posted:

Its too bad CPUSA is a clown show, cuz thats an awesome flag.

Yeah, there's a lot of reasonably neat ones that internet people came up with.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:47

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

as lovely a candidate as clinton is, she at least is different from sanders, so they actually have things to debate on. which is more than anyone can say for the republican lineup, whose debates basically revolve around which one hates women and browns the most.

Pretty sure republicans never actually talk about the issues in the debates. "Yes moderator that's a really good question on jobs, well as president of the United States I would make sure that I did everything in my power to get'r done while I'm in office" *Audience cheers wildly*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:53

Prav: Oct 29, 2011

Strudel Man posted:

Yeah, there's a lot of reasonably neat ones that internet people came up with.

on his first day, the Bern outlawed 18 states. bombing commenced after five minutes.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 19:59

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Robo Reagan posted:

*eats one of the butterscotch hard candies he had in his pocket*

Hahhahaha

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:18

Happy Bear Suit: Jul 21, 2004

*redistributes all of the wealth*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:21

huskarl_marx: Oct 13, 2013; by zen death robot

*exercises rights under citizens united to appoint entire red and anarchist orgs to his cabinet/staff*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:21

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

*fares about as well as ned stark*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:31

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Me too.

That corner of the world has such a rich history but it's so easy to invade these days. Hey, Gilgamesh, try and loving stop me!

I mean I'd mostly do it for the oil, but still.

it doesn't have to be iraq. i would just invade somebody if i was president. i wouldn't deal with any of that nasty occupation stuff though, that's where we hosed up in iraq/afghanistan. it would be really fun to just pick some tiny piece of poo poo country that can't really fight back, come up with some excuse for invading, show up, blow a bunch of poo poo up, declare victory, and leave. maybe install a new dictator or whatever but i don't really give a gently caress about that part

this is essentially what trump is gonna do btw

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:33

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

*prints out all his emails*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 20:45

FuturePastNow: May 19, 2014

*un-pardons Nixon*

# ? Feb 10, 2016 01:23

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

FuturePastNow posted:

*un-pardons Nixon*

im feeling the Bern

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:21

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

*gets lost*

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:23

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Strudel Man posted:

Yeah, there's a lot of reasonably neat ones that internet people came up with.

i get what the hammer and sickle are meant to symbolize but what about the gear

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:26

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Fojar38 posted:

i get what the hammer and sickle are meant to symbolize but what about the gear

Cars and poo poo

They should update it the fact that most americans are now paper pushers and service employees. What would that look like?

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:27

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Fojar38 posted:

i get what the hammer and sickle are meant to symbolize but what about the gear

Industry is v important to the communist mythos in general

I'm more confused about the 32 stars though

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:29

EugeneJ: Feb 5, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

a messed up horse posted:

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:31

TEAYCHES: Jun 23, 2002

Communism won tonight, thank you New Hampshire.

# ? Feb 10, 2016 02:31

HollywoodDialysis: Jan 19, 2005; not doing nothing; Grimey Drawer

*Nukes the banks*

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:16

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

loquacius posted:

Industry is v important to the communist mythos in general

I'm more confused about the 32 stars though

yeah but the hammer is supposed to be industry

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:21

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Mange Mite posted:

They should update it the fact that most americans are now paper pushers and service employees. What would that look like?

hammer, sickle, double arches

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:41

SwimmingSpider: Jan 3, 2008; Jön, jön, jön a vizipók.
Várják már a tólakók.
Ez a kis pók ügyes búvár.
Sok új kaland is még rá vár.

https://twitter.com/JNorth0/status/697239834100940801

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:49

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:57

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

*Proposes a bill on something he promised*

*Has to use veto pen 200 times before noon*

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:58

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 11:57

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

*takes a motorcade to find a decent knish somewhere around here, for god's sake*

# ? Feb 10, 2016 03:59

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT it's Bernie Sander's first day in office

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