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*finds james garfield's hidden treasure chest full of gold doubloons in the white house wall*
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Feb 9, 2016 04:58
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| # ? May 4, 2024 12:41 |
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*is murdered by a raving lunatic* *Mrs.Clinton has no alibi *
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Feb 9, 2016 05:02
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*orders new B and S keys for every keyboard*
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Feb 9, 2016 05:02
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*is ushered into a small room* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKkRDMil0bw
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Feb 9, 2016 06:09
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*gets settled in, learns which light switches/tv remotes do what*
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Feb 9, 2016 06:13
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*naps*
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Feb 9, 2016 06:15
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Staff at the national archives watch in horror as the constitution spontaneously combusts. Meanwhile the Lincoln Memorial crumbles to dust while bald eagles fall from the sky, their lifeless bodies littering the streets. On flags across the country the red has been bleeding into the white, now covering it completely.
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Feb 9, 2016 06:15
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Sends all the country's boomers a joke email telling them where they can line up for bread and toilet paper. The death toll reaches into the millions.
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Feb 9, 2016 06:40
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"HEADSTRONG ILL TAKE YOU O-ON, HEADSTRONG I'LL TAKE ON ANYONE" *Sanders approaches the inauguration booth, with a McMahon-esque swagger*
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Feb 9, 2016 06:42
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Apparently  is poll pushing now.
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Feb 9, 2016 06:52
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*realizes he is going to accomplish none of the poo poo he campaigned on, sits weeping in the oval office hugging his anime body pillow* *wakes up a few hours later realizing it was all a dream, the obnoxiously loud TV in the background blares a nervous and fake laugh from President Hillary Rodham Clinton, announcing that she is defunding the SEC and creating several new cabinet positions for her biggest donors.*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:00
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*trump defects to russia, russia nukes everybody, calls us pussies*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:06
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*does all the same stuff obama is doing*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:09
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Moon Atari posted:Staff at the national archives watch in horror as the constitution spontaneously combusts. Meanwhile the Lincoln Memorial crumbles to dust while bald eagles fall from the sky, their lifeless bodies littering the streets. On flags across the country the red has been bleeding into the white, now covering it completely.
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Feb 9, 2016 07:13
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* Calls up wallstreet executives to thank them for the Christmas cards and donations after having won the election in November*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:18
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Prav posted:*dies because of a lone gunman completely unaffiliated with any intelligence organizations specialized in political assassinations* there are no intelligence organisations specialised in political assassinations.
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Feb 9, 2016 07:21
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Pastor Perineum posted:*farts• this seems more likely. but more likely than anything is that he just does jack poo poo because he's won.
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Feb 9, 2016 07:22
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*enters oval office, smells something* *reaches into his pocket, and pulls something out* *throws Bernie Beans at curtain* *Critical hit! Master Assassin feels the heartbern!* *Bernie Sanders gains 200XP*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:28
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*Gives everyone in the White House a Werther's Original forging familial bonds and deep affection among the staff*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:31
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*curb your enthusiasm becomes a documentary*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:32
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huskarl_marx posted:*brings back LF*
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Feb 9, 2016 07:39
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Prorat posted:"Pretends to care about minorities while not having to live with them" hey i care about your mom every friday night but i sure as poo poo ain't movin in!!!
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Feb 9, 2016 07:46
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Prorat posted:"Pretends to care about minorities while not having to live with them" Look, I'm okay with minorities being in this country and they deserve to be treated equally. I just don't want any minorities in my back yard.
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Feb 9, 2016 07:48
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Doghouse posted:*gives out free tuition to college for all* * 3 years into term, SJW's and spergs everywhere are raging there is no jobs for their degree in Neo-Social media studies* * Bernie becomes the most hated POTUS, right behind Coolridge* * Internet blames GWB for all the problems "Bernie Inherited"*
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Feb 9, 2016 08:00
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Those STEM fields are getting kinda packed bud let this Asian infusion work it's way through the educational system over the next few years and it's gonna be real packed.
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Feb 9, 2016 08:22
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Feb 9, 2016 08:37
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Feb 9, 2016 08:39
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* Hillary seen loitering outside the gates, occasionally caught trespassing on White House grounds. Frequently shrieks demands of a recount at random intervals.*
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Feb 9, 2016 08:40
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*beats the republicans at their own game and put all registered republicans in death camps guarded exclusively by homosexuals*
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Feb 9, 2016 09:02
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plain blue jacket posted:*beats the republicans at their own game and put all registered republicans in death camps guarded exclusively by homosexuals* I don't think we have enough marines to do that
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Feb 9, 2016 09:17
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High Fives Vice President Bill Clinton and his new wife Ivanka Trump. Somewhere in the distance a single gunshot rings out from Hillary's now empty campaign office.
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Feb 9, 2016 09:18
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*turns it into the Jew House*
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Feb 9, 2016 09:31
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all democratic politicians in congress decide it is easier to declare themselves republican than face scrutiny as accused "socialists"; swear blood oath to do whats worst for the american people and the world at any and hopefully every cost
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Feb 9, 2016 09:38
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*looks wistfully at handwritten chicken-scratch list of things promised to the american people during campaign, throws it in the trash with all the previous presidents'*
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Feb 9, 2016 09:50
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Automatic Slim posted:* Hillary seen loitering outside the gates, occasionally caught trespassing on White House grounds. Frequently shrieks demands of a recount at random intervals.* The public is initially confused when Hillary gives a presidential victory speech, despite having earlier lost to Bernie in the primaries. This confusion turns to vicarious embarrassment and pity as she goes on to give a series of increasingly disjointed press conferences referring to herself as the president or 'the first female president', while for some reason wearing a paper crown with the word president written on it.
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Feb 9, 2016 10:04
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as lovely a candidate as clinton is, she at least is different from sanders, so they actually have things to debate on. which is more than anyone can say for the republican lineup, whose debates basically revolve around which one hates women and browns the most.
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Feb 9, 2016 10:14
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Parallax Scroll posted:i would definitely do this if i were president Me too. That corner of the world has such a rich history but it's so easy to invade these days. Hey, Gilgamesh, try and loving stop me! I mean I'd mostly do it for the oil, but still.
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Feb 9, 2016 11:08
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*eats one of the butterscotch hard candies he had in his pocket*
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Feb 9, 2016 12:04
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Pastor Perineum posted:*farts•
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Feb 9, 2016 12:51
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| # ? May 4, 2024 12:41 |
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*begins to prep the bull affectionally known as Israel*
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Feb 9, 2016 13:19
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