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The only way that bitch will go to the restroom is if I'm watching. I got her trained really well, always waits for me to take her outside before she does her business. Pretty sure I'd put her down if she started pissing and making GBS threads in the house.
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Feb 11, 2016 03:21
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sorry about your broken wife OP, 5th times the charm, as they say
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Feb 11, 2016 03:31
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edit: never mind edit edit: 
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Feb 11, 2016 04:03
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I dont have a significant other op
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Feb 11, 2016 04:07
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Huh, you know they've never pissed or poo poo now that I think about it. 
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Feb 11, 2016 04:15
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Huh, you know they've never pissed or poo poo now that I think about it. i am also married to a real doll 
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Feb 11, 2016 04:16
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I insist they watch and then grade the performance and the result on a scale from 1-33.
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Feb 11, 2016 04:21
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the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change the second time you get married and it doesn't work, listen, we all get unlucky, and it's a shame that this one didn't work out but keep your head up the third time you get married and it doesn't work out, you may want to start taking a hard look at yourself and considering deeply if perhaps there's something about you that is causing this cycle to repeat itself the fourth time you get married, it better loving work out, or you are a complete failure of a man for fucks sake, get your poo poo together
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Feb 11, 2016 04:25
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rabble rabble posted:the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change But, what if the ladies I marry get old?
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Feb 11, 2016 04:29
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rabble rabble posted:the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change people who get married in glass houses end up with irritible bowel syndrome
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Feb 11, 2016 04:31
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Honey, I saw you eating a Chik-Fil-A sandwich and watching Netflix on the toilet the other day...I really think it's time we talk about marriage.
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Feb 11, 2016 05:25
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As our relationship has advanced so has the openness of the bathroom door. Basically I only close it when I wipe my rear end because no one wants to see that. I insist on watching my fiancée insert her tampons. So far she has shot this down.
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Feb 11, 2016 05:54
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I once peed on my wife's leg in the shower and she didn't even notice. The perfect crime.
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Feb 11, 2016 05:59
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On3moresoul posted:I insist on watching my fiancée insert her tampons. So far she has shot this down. i literally pissed on my last gf in the shower on the reg and she still would not let me observe her tampon biz it's women's most private bathroom biz afaict
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Feb 11, 2016 06:04
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rabble rabble posted:the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change see i'm not sure this analysis applies to me because all of my wives have died under mysterious circumstances
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Feb 11, 2016 06:04
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MiracleWhale posted:see i'm not sure this analysis applies to me because all of my wives have died under mysterious circumstances i have been on exactly 2 significant hikes.
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Feb 11, 2016 06:07
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Orkin Mang posted:i have been on exactly 2 significant hikes. the thing about the wilderness is accidents happen and good luck finding the body you know probably picked apart by wolves i wouldn't even look
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Feb 11, 2016 06:11
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rabble rabble posted:the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change I'd hope by #3 I'd learn that it's supposed to take work. Otherwise I'm gonna be my dad who's turning 60 and just got out of his 4th marriage (they all seem to dissolve after 10 years) and is gonna die from drinking
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Feb 11, 2016 06:18
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Feb 11, 2016 06:22
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Between butt fuckin ladies and gents, plus dating the occasional squirter, I've had every known variety of human waste sprayed all over my dick and balls. You get used to it. I say, hose that filthy broad down. Write your name in the proverbial snowbank of her bodice
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Feb 11, 2016 08:33
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rabble rabble posted:the first time you get married and it doesn't work, ok, I get it, things happen, people change when your new wife's ex was a 20 years younger meth addict with a piss fetish im sure that things are fine and will work out
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Feb 11, 2016 09:50
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satanic splash-back posted:When I make a life-changing mistake, I like to try it 2-3 more times to be absolutely sure its a bad idea. This is my 3rd SA account what are you trying to say
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Feb 11, 2016 09:58
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thathonkey posted:This is my 3rd SA account what are you trying to say rabble rabble posted:you are a complete failure of a man for fucks sake, get your poo poo together
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Feb 11, 2016 11:32
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I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
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Feb 11, 2016 11:45
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i just looked at my post count and it is 22,500 with an average of like 9 posts a day someone tell me they have a higher post count because im hyperventilating over here
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Feb 11, 2016 12:36
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i mean im really upset. i dont know how my post count got that high
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Feb 11, 2016 12:36
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jfc
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Feb 11, 2016 12:36
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mine is almost 8 if that makes you feel better
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Feb 11, 2016 12:40
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my so is my toilet
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Feb 11, 2016 13:36
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I like to sneak in when she's in the shower and take a huge morning dump. For some reason she doesn't find it as funny as I do.
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Feb 11, 2016 14:28
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The Mentalizer posted:I like to sneak in when she's in the shower and take a huge morning dump. she's probably annoyed that you didn't have the courtesy to stomp it down the drain.
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Feb 11, 2016 15:29
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it's hard for her not to watch considering she is my human toilet
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Feb 11, 2016 15:47
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Yes to pee, no to poo. I'm ashamed of my smells and even moreso because I'm a standing wiper.
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Feb 11, 2016 15:50
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One day Obama noticed "Barack Sux" written in yellow on the snow outside the oval office. He calls the secret service in and says "find out who did this!" The next day the secret service comes in and says, "sir. We ran some tests. The urine belongs to Joe Biden, but it's in Hillary's handwriting!"
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Feb 11, 2016 16:05
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she can watch the deed but i don't let her watch me wipe
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Feb 11, 2016 18:08
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nobody watches me poo poo but God
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Feb 11, 2016 19:34
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Him posted:schwantz
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Feb 11, 2016 19:38
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I'll let her aim for me if she wants to
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Feb 11, 2016 20:00
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bradzilla posted:I'm a standing wiper. Might as well do booty claps while it exits
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Feb 11, 2016 20:01
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bradzilla posted:...I'm a standing wiper. Excuse my ignorance, but is there any other way?
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Feb 11, 2016 20:10
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