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That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
:anttony:


hahahahaha that's never going to happen because that fat sack of poo poo got 6th in new hampshire, defeated by such luminaries as ted "i will enforce my twisted dominionist views on the country" cruz and marco "that robot" rubio

that cockswarming assmaster wanted to bring the hammer down on colorado and other cool weed states

so gently caress christie

i hope he gets in a fat furry sex scandal and leaves the new jersey governorship in disgrace

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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
"My first act as President of The United States is to close the shittiest Something Awful thread available. I have my top men on this, and so far we are hearing reports that the thread is titled "itt its chris christie's first day in the oval office". Please do not be alarmed. This will be handled swiftly and with justice."

Pontificating Ass
Aug 2, 2002

What Doth Life?
I'm gonna eat this whole footlong sub

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
lotsa care about politics itt

*farts*

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.
Lol if you think it matters who gets elected president.

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
*chris christie looks at the monitor on the oval office desk, squinting at the small typeface. he turns his massive head, straining at the effort*

"What the gently caress is a firefox?" He asks to no one in particular.

rakovsky maybe
Nov 4, 2008
*breaks presidential toilet*

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
After a year of watching the heads in legal states disappear up their own assholes even going so far as to passive aggressively disdain the smoking of the flower in it's unadulterated form and becoming more and more like wine snobs I'm kind of onboard with crisco but that's petty and vindictive to be sure

Mapparu
Sep 22, 2013

he said he was going to punch the russian president, Vladamir Putin in the face... so i assuming that will be first...

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
why is the smiley man eating fire ants

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
Christie's biggest beef with the NSA is that they don't do more

he's really a sack of poo poo

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
as a kid i used to capture fire ants with leaves and stuff and set them free on smaller ant hills then watch these tiny black ants murder the bitch like it's a Tarantino film

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
On his first day of office he set the record for the most ben's chili dogs consumed in one sitting! We picked a winner!

Happy Hedonist
Jan 18, 2009


When I was a little kid I went pheasant hunting with my granddad and stood on a fire ant nest. That's my Chris Christie story.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

That Robot posted:

i hope he gets in a fat furry sex scandal and leaves the new jersey governorship in disgrace

I might be able to arrange something :ninja:

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
They call it the oval office because he's round like oval

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you
Calls up Marco Rubio and yells "SUCK IT" into the phone. Renames inauguration day as National Suck It Marco Rubio Day by executive order

Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.

"Do I smell... cheesecake?"

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
And in a strange twist of news today, the entire Presidential culinary staff quit, upon hearing that Chris Christie was announced the winner of the 2016 Presidential Elections.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
*office becomes much more oval*

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


* gets fitted for the puppet strings *

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
*Eats a cheese steak and shits himself while seated behind the desk in the Oval Office*


*Over the course of four years gains 500lbs.*

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
The Oval Office is the name for his dad's right testicle, right?

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
just noticed rubio lkooks like jack johonson from that futurama joke

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Orkin Mang posted:

*office becomes much more oval*

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

* gets fitted for the puppet strings *

*puppetmasters have to use steel girders instead*

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010
chris christie is a fat republican lawyer of new jersey somehow lol how did that happen, he'd never be president!

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Day 39: The Secret Service rushes into the Oval Office to find a hideous mound of skin and fat piled behind the Resolute Desk, unable to move or speak aside from haunting, gurgling moans.

Mr. Unlucky
Nov 1, 2006

by R. Guyovich
*gorges on bowl of raw intestines using only face*

dont interrupt the feeding or he'll cleave you in half and suck the marrow out your bones

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004

What will they call the presidential hoverround that hauls his rear end around?

Tapanzee Butte?

Roargasm
Oct 21, 2010

Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy
i'd relive my glory days by calling rubio and roasting him daily

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004

Roargasm posted:

i'd relive my glory days by calling the colonel and roasting chickens daily

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
he's fat in a weird way, like he looks unnatural

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Partycat posted:

What will they call the presidential hoverround that hauls his rear end around?

Tapanzee Butte?

AssForce 1

Crash_N_Burn
Apr 19, 2014

Much like another famous Chris, he's going to end up in a van down by the river

eric
Apr 27, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
*shoves pizza in mouth*

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
His inaugural address contains the phrase "As a former federal prosecutor," a record 47 times.

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
"Oh God! Bring the plunger, BRING THE PLUNGER QUICK!"

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
*wakes up*

oh it was all a dream

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Gonzo the Eggman
Apr 15, 2010

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.
A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Chinatown posted:

lotsa care about politics itt

*farts*

Well said, that man.

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