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Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
This seems like the perfect excuse:

quote:

For 30 years, a Canadian man lived under a different name with an apparently unknown past and didn’t know he had any relatives, until now, according to the Niagara Regional Police.

After landing in front of a social worker on January 7, a 51-year-old man suddenly remembered who he was: His real name was Edgar Latulip and he was from Kitchener, Canada.

That’s when the memories started to come back.

Latulip apparently left his hometown of Kitchener back in 1986 on a bus destined for Niagara Falls, according to Constable Phil Gavin, a spokesperson for the Niagara Regional Police Department.

After arriving in Niagara Falls, Latulip reportedly made his way to St. Catharines Ontario. On his way he somehow fell and suffered a head injury which “robbed him of his memory and identity,” Gavin said.

Latulip remained in the city of St. Catharines for the next 30 years, living independently, according to Gavin. Authorities are wary of revealing too much about Latulip’s life over the last 30 years out of concern for his privacy.

When Latulip had the apparent epiphany about his name, the social worker, who police are not identifying because of privacy concerns, immediately researched his name and came across an unsolved missing persons case and a cold case news article from a neighboring town paper written in 2014 that matched his recollections. Latulip’s case was then referred to the Niagara Police Department where detectives interviewed him. He continued remembering things he hadn’t recalled in 30 years, according to Gavin.

Latulip provided the Niagara Police Department with a sample of DNA to be tested against a relative who was living in Waterloo at the time. The DNA sample was then sent to a laboratory which confirmed a match on February 5.

Authorities contacted his mother who now resides in Ottawa and told her the good news.

“She was very excited, as you would expect to be after not seeing a family member after 30 years,” Gavin said.

Canadian TV network CTV spoke with Latulip’s mother, Silvia Wilson, over the phone. She told them she was overwhelmed by her son’s return but hasn’t spoken to him yet.

For years, Latulip’s mother, believed her son may have been abused and taken advantage of because of a developmental disorder he had that left him with a childlike mental capacity.

The North American Missing Persons Network listed Edgar Latulip on its website on Thursday as 21 years old when he was last seen in Kitchener, Ontario on September 2, 1986. It continues:

“He left his residence without his medication. It is possible that he took a bus to Niagara Falls. Latulip suffers from mental health problems and is developmentally delayed (mental capacity of a 12-year-old.)”

The Niagara Police Department and local St. Catharines community partners are working to reunite mother and son.

http://ktla.com/2016/02/12/30-years-after-suffering-head-injury-canadian-man-remembers-his-identity-police/

Nobody can blame you or prove anything. You just go somewhere and assume a new identity, pretend you are that person, and believe it yourself. Live however you want. If you ever get called on it, you just never break character until you feel like it. If you want to go back to your old life, just do it and say you hit your head two (or 20!) years ago and just remembered who you are. No fault, no blame.

Maybe it helps to be mentally handicapped like this guy was. But that should be no barrier to entry for any goon.

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penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
yeah but how is that going to solve any of my problems OP

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
It solves ALL your problems except the retardation. You just can't understand because of said retardation.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
this is my plan if i am ever accused of a serious crime

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
so to escape my crippling failures brought on by my own ineptitude, I get to take that same ineptitude and start all over ... except with no credit, job history, education history, or support system of any kind?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Utz posted:

It solves ALL your problems except the retardation. You just can't understand because of said retardation.

retardation must own because youre not aware of the lack of any type of existence after death and instead are loving ecstatic because scooby doo is starting

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
Yes, now you're getting it. But I was never talking about escape, just a temporary vacation with no blame attached. More like a moral hall pass.

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Robo Reagan posted:

retardation must own because youre not aware of the lack of any type of existence after death and instead are loving ecstatic because scooby doo is starting

Wow, you provide a fascinating glimpse into an poorly-functioning brain! As always! ;)

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Utz posted:

Wow, you provide a fascinating glimpse into an poorly-functioning brain! As always! ;)

i learned it from you, dad

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Robo Reagan posted:

i learned it from you, dad

The human condition, alas.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

I don't remember ever making bad posts. Time for a new life starting with this fantastic effort.

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
lol why would you let someone with those problems go on a solo bus trip?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

That Robot posted:

lol why would you let someone with those problems go on a solo bus trip?

because being a retard minder is actually a really stressful job and if you take your eyes off of them for 5 minutes to take a dump or something they can disappear and tbh the bus driver has probably dealt with less coherent people trying to get on the bus

ContinuityNewTimes
Dec 30, 2010

Я выдуман напрочь
This is like that episode of Breaking Bad. Good show.

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Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat
I would never trust a retard again.

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