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It's a bright sunny day and unfortunately you have to go out in it because you're out of food! Goal: Get this goon some food before he starves. The nearest grocery store is about six blocks away to the west. Too far for walking! Lucky for you there is a bus stop outside your studio apartment. Unluckily there is a girl on her smart phone taking up the bench. It's another fifteen minutes before the next bus comes. Three blocks east is a convenience store. North and south is urban sprawl for several miles. >... 
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Feb 14, 2016 14:21
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 07:39 |
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kick the bus sign so it falls down and chops off one of the woman's limbs then eat it
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Feb 14, 2016 14:22
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>poo poo your pants
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Feb 14, 2016 14:23
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Ask the fine lady if she would like you to show her what a cunning linguist you are. You didn't say we have to eat food.
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Feb 14, 2016 14:25
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do a barrel roll
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Feb 14, 2016 14:32
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pretend to browse the internet on your flip phone while imagining all the ways youd make her happy if she was dating you instead of whatever successful and intimidating normal person she is probably with
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Feb 14, 2016 14:41
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Stare awkwardly at the woman until she notices your creepy self and then quickly and noticeably look away. Repeat this until the bus arrives.
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Feb 14, 2016 14:50
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Doctor Dogballs posted:>poo poo your pants
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Feb 14, 2016 14:51
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>go back home and order food from amazon / peapod.
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Feb 14, 2016 14:54
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Enfield posted:do a barrel roll Perhaps your acrobat skills will impress this girl enough to initiate conversation with you! You put your bag down and attempt some barrel rolls. They are quite tricky however so you really just end up rocking side to side.  This is the most activity you've done in weeks and your energy levels are dangerously low and you are now sweaty(ier). 
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Feb 14, 2016 14:55
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> go home order food off amazon / peapod.
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Feb 14, 2016 14:57
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Doctor Dogballs posted:>poo poo your pants Edit : then pretend to have trouble breathing in hopes of getting some sweet CPR from the girl. Like in that one movie except without drowning and with more poo poo smell. hey welcome to the show! fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Feb 14, 2016 |
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Feb 14, 2016 15:01
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Doctor Dogballs posted:>poo poo your pants Never one to let voicemail pick up the call of nature, you start your making GBS threads routine. You bend over and grab cheeks, however there seems to be a problem!  Finally you give a mighty push hear a distinct pop! There's something down there besides poo poo. Exploring you dig up:  A Rare Action Figure! >...
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Feb 14, 2016 15:24
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>go home and order food off the internet that will get there that afternoon like the shut-in you are.
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Feb 14, 2016 15:32
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Ask the nice lady if she'd like a box of chocolate for valentine's day. Explain to her that the box is her vagina and what's in your pants currently is the chocolate. Enjoy unending free food in prison. Game, broken.
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Feb 14, 2016 15:42
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CRAlvery posted:Ask the fine lady if she would like you to show her what a cunning linguist you are. You didn't say we have to eat food. You fetch up the courage to go lay down some sweets negs you read online. But the bus arrives and she runs inside it.  You wonder if your amazon store card is maxed out from your recent action figure purchases. The bus driver is waiting to see if you're getting on. >...
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Feb 14, 2016 16:29
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>Attempt to trade rare action figure for a seat on the bus
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Feb 14, 2016 16:34
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*Just orders pizza and stays at home, hopes mom brings home some bacon later.
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Feb 14, 2016 16:35
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>lay down on the road
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Feb 14, 2016 16:37
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EorayMel posted:>Attempt to trade rare action figure for a seat on the bus You show the bus driver the figure which he ignores. You then pull your bus pass out from your bag and he punches it. You take a seat and notice everyone giving you plenty of space which soothes your considerable social anxiety. Soon you get off at the grocery store stop. To your horror there is a large puddle blocking your way. To go around would add 30-45 seconds to your journey.  >...
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Feb 14, 2016 16:49
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get naked so your clothes dont get wet and ford it
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Feb 14, 2016 16:51
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drink it all up
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Feb 14, 2016 16:53
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walk through the puddle to avoid expending any extra effort. secretly fume about how lazy grocery store workers are for not somehow getting rid of that puddle, how dare those assholes be so inconsiderate
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Feb 14, 2016 17:07
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satanic splash-back posted:get naked so your clothes dont get wet and ford it Your years of Oregon trail has braced you for this moment. You shed your crocs and clothes and put them and the action figure into the bag. You test the water and find it less than ankle deep. Full of courage you start across. Then without warning your vertigo kicks in and you stumble and fall into the puddle. Your bag fills with water. Although you can still breathe you are soaked and you might have a skinned knee. A crowd of shoppers is now watching you through the grocery store windows.  >...
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Feb 14, 2016 17:25
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> cross the water, dress, quote han solo to the audience to show that you're a cool dude, and then go in
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Feb 14, 2016 17:46
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>walk into traffic
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Feb 14, 2016 18:30
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Piss pants.
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Feb 14, 2016 18:37
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Hogge Wild posted:> cross the water, dress, quote han solo to the audience to show that you're a cool dude, and then go in After you rise for the sake of expediency you throw on just your crocs and undies. As you walk through the door you stop and shout out some sick Han Solo quotes to throw attention off you.  The other shoppers look away and move to different aisles. Your plan worked! >...
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Feb 14, 2016 18:48
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>poo poo somebody else's pants
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Feb 14, 2016 19:07
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go to cutlery aisle and demonstrate skills you have learned from this book
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Feb 14, 2016 19:10
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> empty a family size cereal box and cut a han solo vest out of it
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Feb 14, 2016 19:12
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jackyl posted:go to cutlery aisle and demonstrate skills you have learned from this book Hogge Wild posted:> empty a family size cereal box and cut a han solo vest out of it Harkening back to your epic knowledge of long blade techniques you search out some suitable steel. In the kitchen equipment section you find a cheap chef's knife. Knowing a knight is useless without proper armor you search until you find mail of sufficient size to cover your girth. It takes a second, but you are soon garbed. The store seems to be empty now, soothing your considerable social anxiety.  >...
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Feb 14, 2016 19:56
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> find a worthy maiden whose honour to defend against non-classy ignorant normies
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Feb 14, 2016 20:01
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>Find a microwave pizza, invade the break room, microwave the pizza.
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Feb 14, 2016 20:02
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CRAlvery posted:>Find a microwave pizza, invade the break room, microwave the pizza. You've discovered a Rare Pizza!  You try to remember the current stance on Hawaiian pizza. >...
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Feb 14, 2016 20:29
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> no pineapple, our delicate palate can't handle it
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Feb 14, 2016 20:49
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>find flamin hot cheetoes
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Feb 14, 2016 20:56
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Hawaiian pizza will not be socially tolerated in the store, *fears sjws* > Sneak out back and make a small cooking fire from palettes and make an oven out of a metal barrel.
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Feb 14, 2016 21:07
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gently caress hawaiian pizza. Literally.
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Feb 14, 2016 21:34
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 07:39 |
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> pick pineapple off pizza and throw it onto the floor before microwaving. loudly explain to onlooking employees that you ain't no fruit, man
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Feb 14, 2016 21:59
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