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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


sure yeah everyone posting on the forums right now is single and alone. of course we all started drinking before noon, goes without saying if we have any pills we are scarfing them, maybe we have already broken out the chocolate that we do not have a recipient for and just started munching down on that box, not the box we wanted to munch on, but it helps

but who gives a gently caress?! being single can be fun too! let's come up with some ways to make this valentines the best vd ever!! let's make the sex havers, with their wines and dines and exposure to the human touch, jealous of us!!!

give me your best ideas, gibbis, just sitting here in my smoking jacket with a cigar and an open vein ready to have a blast!!!

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Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
put money in someone's undies for a groin shot and false expressions of interest directed toward yourself!

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


i was thinking of going to the park and just hula hooping the day away, that is something that is some fun and carefree, yeah? good times!

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

put money in someone's undies for a groin shot and false expressions of interest directed toward yourself!

Not even nonsense funny

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


amityville anus posted:

Not even nonsense funny

this is a "safe space" for people to post while blubbering into their coffee at a cafe alone

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Itīs Singles Awareness Day, not Valentines

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Don Tacorleone posted:

Itīs Singles Awareness Day, not Valentines

good old SAD

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
To you it's a day of loneliness and despair. To me, it's Sunday.

Also, laundry day.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


maybe i will call out to a bicyclist on the street, sir i have a question about bicycling if you please, please step off your metal steed and discuss the matter with me, and when he plants both feet firmly on terra firma and thereby makes himself vulnerable i will push him to the ground and grab his bike and gtfo out of there although it will be hard to run while carrying the bike

i've thought about it and I think this is something only a happy person would do

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




I plan to watch porn and masturbate.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Infidel Castro posted:

I plan to watch porn and masturbate.

It's already 3 pm dude, get cracking.

LemonAIDS
Aug 7, 2009

They are pretty great.

I'm doing crafts with my baby nephews so my brother can plow his wife

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


LemonAIDS posted:

I'm doing crafts with my baby nephews so my brother can plow his wife

is this one of those cuck situations

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




VendaGoat posted:

It's already 3 pm dude, get cracking.

Today's a special day. Gotta treat myself to a nice dinner out. Trying to decide between Chipotle or Costco food court.

www
Aug 4, 2010

i can fap when i want whereever i want to what i want

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


www posted:

i can fap when i want whereever i want to what i want

on the train, in the park, at George Washington carver middle school, live at the Apollo

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


as long as i have some time to kill at the coffee shop i may as well work on my next novel, "the man with the dry penis"

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Infidel Castro posted:

Today's a special day. Gotta treat myself to a nice dinner out. Trying to decide between Chipotle or Costco food court.
Get a costco hot dog and eat it at Chipotle.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

If anyone looks at you funny just say it's the new special at chipotle.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Getting a hotdog at chipotle isn't a special its a trick the chef pulls where he cuts his dick off and serves it to a customer

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


amityville anus posted:

Getting a hotdog at chipotle isn't a special its a trick the chef pulls where he cuts his dick off and serves it to a customer

can he make that dick barbacoa

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
can he make that dick barbacoa!

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

amityville anus posted:

Getting a hotdog at chipotle isn't a special its a trick the chef pulls where he cuts his dick off and serves it to a customer
[perfect for valentines day. Also I don't thin k they have chefs there.

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
This is my first valentines day alone since I was a teenager. I'm going to use the money I woul dhave spent on fleeting piotnless romance and donate it to Bernie Sanders. gently caress you, Mindy.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Sharzak posted:

This is my first valentines day alone since I was a teenager. I'm going to use the money I woul dhave spent on fleeting piotnless romance and donate it to Bernie Sanders. gently caress you, Mindy.

shazbot

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




Sharzak posted:

This is my first valentines day alone since I was a teenager. I'm going to use the money I woul dhave spent on fleeting piotnless romance and donate it to Bernie Sanders. gently caress you, Mindy.

I think the idea here is that you're not gonna gently caress Mindy tonight.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
im in the bath rereading harry poter again!!!

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Infidel Castro posted:

I think the idea here is that you're not gonna gently caress Mindy tonight.

In fact, someone else probably is loving Mindy tonight.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


I'm gonna ask the girl at the grocery store checkout what she's doing for Valentine's Day and if she says she doesn't have anything planned i'ma say me neither, but it'd be a shame not to get out and have some fun, you feel like doing something after work, and then there'll be an awkward silence and I'll never be able to shop there again

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
this afternoon as well, I'd expect

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
if id been going on pointless expensive dates with traitorus women instead of rereading harry poter id never have read harry potter so many times,a huge loss

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


VendaGoat posted:

In fact, someone else probably is loving Mindy tonight.

way to twist the knife drat i pressed the goat button but what tumbled out at the bottom of the machine was pain

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

MiracleWhale posted:

way to twist the knife drat i pressed the goat button but what tumbled out at the bottom of the machine was pain

if u reread harry poter enough it sudenly becomes obvious that dumbledore HAD to be gay. being a homo is intrinsic to his character

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

I'm going to go cry into some chicken wings (extra spicy) and then eat the chicken wings (extra spicy)

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
and hagrid is a chewbacca

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Orkin Mang posted:

if u reread harry poter enough it sudenly becomes obvious that dumbledore HAD to be gay. being a homo is intrinsic to his character

I always pictured hermyny as a sassy black woman but i read jj rowlings tweet stream and it turns out she is some sort of anthropomorphic duck

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

MiracleWhale posted:

I'm gonna ask the girl at the grocery store checkout what she's doing for Valentine's Day and if she says she doesn't have anything planned i'ma say me neither, but it'd be a shame not to get out and have some fun, you feel like doing something after work, and then there'll be an awkward silence and I'll never be able to shop there again
She probably went home already. I don't think shes gonna wait in line with her groceries forever.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


a hole-y ghost posted:

She probably went home already. I don't think shes gonna wait in line with her groceries forever.

you'd be surprised because I am paying with a check

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


i'm thinking of learning how to dowse, a perfectly normal and healthy activity for the highly dateable man, and then i will take my dowsing rod and close my eyes and follow my heart and to the first woman i bump into i will say "hey wanna go back to my place, i've just poked you with my rod so our relationship has already progressed to that level"

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Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

VendaGoat posted:

To you it's a day of loneliness and despair. To me, it's Sunday.

Also, laundry day.

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