I miss my internet friends

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I miss my internet friends

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

HAmbONE posted:

I miss my internet friends.

Many years ago I joined SomethingAwfuls Goonfleet in the game EvE Online. For those not familiar with game it is an economy/space warfare simulator that is known for its ridiculous learning curve and unforgiving nature. This is the kind of game where programmers, people who are really good at spreadsheets, and scammers flourish. I am neither of those things and only through the efforts of Goonfleet to hand hold newbees was I able to play the game at a level that was more interesting than frustrating.

One of the systems used by Goonfleet to organize its members and maintain a mentoring system was to place goons into squads. I'm not sure how the mechanics of the squad placement actually worked but I ended up in Pi Squad. Squads had their own subforums, chat, and voice communications as well as resources alloted to the Squad commander to dole out as needed. How squads were run and what was expected of its members was very dependant on the leader and members themselves. Pi squad was never the most organized squad, we all just kind of did our own thing.

Pi squad turned out to have a few Canadians in it; Dorf Gulfer*, Simon Belmont*, and myself. (*names changed because) After sometime together we learned that Dorf and I lived in the same city and that Simon was planning to move here for the job market. Simon ended up moving here and living in my basement for quite sometime. Once Simon had settled in and it seemed that neither of us were serial killers, we made arrangements to meet up with Dorf.

Our first online video squad meet-up was a private pre-screening of Spiderman 3 in a small town just outside of our city which had been setup by one of my co-workers. Dorfs mom dropped him off at my house and thus the three nerdy, out-of-shape white males met. Except for that lovely movie it went well. The only memorable thing about it is that Dorf, afraid of being robbed and raped, hid emergency money and ID in his sock. We found this out when he went to pay for something and had to take off his shoes.

Other than being white male nerds in Canada, we didn't have a lot in common. Our love for video games, bad movies, and take out kept us friends. But we were also all goons and of course had social/mental problems. We had a wonderful habit of turning on each other and tearing apart each others faults. Some of this was misunderstanding and some of this was deliberate.

Economic downturn had forced Simon to another city when his job moved there. Fortunately there was still contracts here and he would travel back and stay with me. Dorf during this time tried living in my basement but did not find it to his liking. Still we chatted on Pi squad chat (even though I don't think anybody we knew still played EvE at this time) and got together whenever we could.

One day while Simon was in town, we all got together for the day with a friend of mine who had become friends with Simon and Dorf. I don't know what it was about that day but Simon and Dorf were just giving my friend and I poo poo. It was like they were trolling us all day and they didn't stop even when we told them it had passed a point for us. It culminated in our non-goon friend breaking down crying and hiding in my room because they would just not give it a rest that day. I wanted to punch them in the face, I told them to leave my house instead.

Yes this was cruel but it also wasn't. Simon and Dorf are very intelligent people with good jobs and decent money. Dorf had his own apartment with which Simon could stay with him for the night. Dorf is a slob and I am sure his place is gross (he never invited us over) but it was an option. Finally there are a bunch of reasonably priced hotels/motels near me that I am pretty sure Simons work would reimburse since he was there on business. I wasn't throwing them out in the cold by any means.

I thought a few days of cooling off and this would blow over. Nope. We are goons and we took to Pi squad chat ripping each other apart for any offence we could think of over the years we knew each other. That only ended when Dorf banned me from Pi chat only to have his moderator status revoked and me invited back. It didn't matter, this seemed to bring an end to the few remaining members of a group that no longer played the game that brought us together and the friendships it created. There was a couple of situations over the years where we met again but all attempts at reconciliation failed.

We were an odd bunch but we truly became friends. We had good times and we had bad times. I am writing this because I still have the Jane (Firefly) toque that Simons mom knitted for me and if that isn't a reason to try again then gently caress.