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And it didn't smell like hot farts or stale diarrhea! I almost chopped off my dick right there and sent out a massive email to the whole building announcing my newfound womanhood. Every time I walk into the men's room there's always some guy coughing up yellow snot into the urinal or squirting lava in the stall that smells so bad you can smell it from outside the bathroom before you even open the door. That's not an exaggeration. "Oh hi Donny! Now I know what your rear end sounds like!" Don't know how I handle accidentally seeing my black boss's anaconda schlong. Maybe I'm just angry because I'm the one who usually fouls up the shitter. But the guys in this building are something else. How does the lady's room stay so decent? How can I go in there more without HR getting involved?
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Feb 17, 2016 19:48
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there's literally no better experience than sitting in a men's room stall and listening to the guy in the next one over breathing loudly while he shits.
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Feb 17, 2016 19:49
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so i don't empathize.
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Feb 17, 2016 19:49
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Fergus Mac Roich posted:there's literally no better experience than sitting in a men's room stall and listening to the guy in the next one over breathing loudly while he shits. 
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Feb 17, 2016 19:50
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Fergus Mac Roich posted:there's literally no better experience than sitting in a men's room stall and listening to the guy in the next one over breathing loudly while he shits. Hrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnng *Pants a few times* Grrrrrrrrrrreeee *Tiny little squeak fart* Huuu Ahhhh, HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *Sounds of a coal chute being opened and dumping five hundred tons of wet, hot lava* Aaaaaaahhh. Hey buddy, got a spare bog roll in there?
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Feb 17, 2016 19:52
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You are now a sex offender.
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Feb 17, 2016 19:55
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Nice post/username combo, OP.
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Feb 17, 2016 19:56
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counterfeitsaint posted:You are now a sex offender. So somebody got offended. Big freaking whoop.
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Feb 17, 2016 19:59
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this is true at my workplace as well and it's because the women's room gets much less traffic due to a little thing we like to call the patriarchy
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Feb 17, 2016 19:59
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Congratulations on being a sex pest
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Feb 17, 2016 20:00
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counterfeitsaint posted:You are now a sex offender.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:03
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:How can I go in there more without HR getting involved? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cP8Rg4jth0
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Feb 17, 2016 20:04
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good job, you discovered what every boy has known since middle school
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Feb 17, 2016 20:04
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lol if you don't have a private bathroom in your office
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Feb 17, 2016 20:06
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this bar near my house is run by clever hucksters and they put a women's room sign on the inside of the men's room door to trick you. one time a guy was leaving the bathroom and saw it and freaked out and was like "i'm not going to jail again!!" so he reached in his pants and grabbed his dick with both hands and ripped it our like a tree stump and i think the bar had to change their door sign policy
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Feb 17, 2016 20:07
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counterfeitsaint posted:You are now a sex offender.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:07
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:this bar near my house is run by clever hucksters and they put a women's room sign on the inside of the men's room door to trick you. one time a guy was leaving the bathroom and saw it and freaked out and was like "i'm not going to jail again!!" so he reached in his pants and grabbed his dick with both hands and ripped it our like a tree stump and i think the bar had to change their door sign policy that guy's name was Jerry Mumphrey
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Feb 17, 2016 20:07
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satanic splash-back posted:that guy's name was Jerry Mumphrey 
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Feb 17, 2016 20:08
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hahaha, you wok in wong womb.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:08
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MiracleWhale posted:this is true at my workplace as well and it's because the women's room gets much less traffic due to a little thing we like to call the patriarchy wimmyn folk need to poo poo barefoot and in the kitchen as God intended
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Feb 17, 2016 20:09
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Moridin920 posted:lol if you don't have a private bathroom in your office It's called a filing cabinet
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Feb 17, 2016 20:10
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Ahhh I see someone has never walked in on the 'period blood explosion' stall in a lady's bathroom. Give it time.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:10
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Also fyi those little hr girls who all eat salads at lunch together and giggle and gossip, they all proceed to go into the bathroom and have the most rank kale-and-organic-veggies sharts a few hours later.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:13
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It was no accident OP, and you're not fooling anyone.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:13
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My friend is a janitor and says he hates the woman's room because at least once a month it looks like Carrie in there.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:17
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the ladies room plumbing on this floor is always hosed up and rank and I have to walk past it every day >:|
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Feb 17, 2016 20:18
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There's a bench against the wall in our ladies room and the walls are salmon, the men's room walls and floor are grey and it smells like poo poo all the time Not sexy girl poo poo either, just balls and the poo poo of men
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Feb 17, 2016 20:20
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My sister has said multiple times that she takes her shits in a different floors, bathroom.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:21
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a good friend of mine is a commercial plumber and he said that women's rooms are always the worst, like they will just poo poo on top of an already clogged toilet and stuff like that he found a miscarriage once too, thought it was a puppy at first
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Feb 17, 2016 20:22
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City of Tampa posted:he found a miscarriage once too, thought it was a puppy at first "Oh God it's a puppy!" *examines* "Oh God it's a BABY!"
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Feb 17, 2016 20:26
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i like to go number "2" in ladies room, but i like to have my period in the mens room
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Feb 17, 2016 20:28
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QUEEN CAUCUS posted:Ahhh I see someone has never walked in on the 'period blood explosion' stall in a lady's bathroom. Give it time. i used to have to clean the bathrooms of my high school as part of penance for my many violations of the rules and i can certainly attest that period blood in all forms, including my favorite 'bloody tampon swinging from the fire sprinkler', was something i got very familiar with in the lady's room
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Feb 17, 2016 20:32
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MiracleWhale posted:i used to have to clean the bathrooms of my high school as part of penance for my many violations of the rules and i can certainly attest that period blood in all forms, including my favorite 'bloody tampon swinging from the fire sprinkler', was something i got very familiar with in the lady's room lol you got in trouble like a dummy. I never got in trouble in highschool even though i was a badass rebel and wore a leather jacket and smoked cigarettes. (4.0 senior year tho, despite two truancy letters sent home buddy  )
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Feb 17, 2016 20:35
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When I was 12 I accidentally used the women's bathroom at the beach. I thought it was weird that there weren't any urinals but only realized what was going on when I came out of a stall and there was a naked middle-aged lady getting changed right in front of me. She was facing away from me so I ducked back into the stall to wait until she had left, but before she did a huge crowd of what sounded like teenage girls came in and started showering. I was way too socially anxious to appreciate the teen movie nature of the situation so instead I spent the next 45 minutes having a silent panic attack. Then when I finally escaped my dad asked me why I had taken so long, which lead to my entire extended family mocking me for the rest of the day.
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Feb 17, 2016 20:41
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I identify as a woman only when I need to go to the bathroom, so using the womens bathroom is okay I think
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Feb 17, 2016 20:42
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Yeah "accidentally".
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Feb 17, 2016 20:44
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thats actually a pretty good idea to get laid. hmmm
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Feb 17, 2016 20:44
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north dakota passed a law that trans* people cant use bathrooms anymore. like either one they said "No Peg" now they gotta peepee and doodoo in the woods
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Feb 17, 2016 20:50
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lol if you dont just poo poo in your cubicles garbage pail
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Feb 17, 2016 20:53
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Zzulu posted:I identify as a woman only when I need to go to the bathroom, so using the womens bathroom is okay I think same. like a woman, i pee out of my butt
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Feb 17, 2016 21:01
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