Which Sitcom Character would you Murder, and how?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Which Sitcom Character would you Murder, and how?

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ghlbtsk: Apr 19, 2005; these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

Monroe from Too Close For Comfort because who wouldn't want to kill Jim J. Bullock?

# ? Feb 18, 2016 02:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 16:33

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

Champenema posted:

Someone setting off a vestbomb outside the Today Show window would count as comedy, right?

yes but hold up a hi mom sign first

# ? Feb 18, 2016 02:47

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

David Spade's character in just shoot me

I'd stab him to death

# ? Feb 18, 2016 02:48

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

Cousin Oliver and all his dark minions and wicked manifestations.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:43

Edgar: Sep 9, 2005; Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!; Wedge Regret

I would drown all the children on 7th Heaven so they can go meet Jesus.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:45

Topographic Nap: Apr 22, 2007

Joey from Blossom
WHOA

# ? Feb 18, 2016 03:48

John Denver Hoxha: May 31, 2014; What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts

Edgar posted:

I would drown all the children on 7th Heaven so they can go meet Jesus.

i'd lure the dad in with a promise of a kid, but waiting there instead would be his wife, who is an addict I reintroduced to cocaine

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:05

Doghouse: Oct 22, 2004; I was playing Harvest Moon 64 with this kid who lived on my street and my cows were not doing well and I got so raged up and frustrated that my eyes welled up with tears and my friend was like are you crying dude. Are you crying because of the cows. I didn't understand the feeding mechanic.

Jar jar binks

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:07

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Seinfeld cast, gas chamber obviously. :haw:

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:35

Michael Bayleaf: Jun 4, 2006; Tortured By Flan

tommy pickles

edit I'd kill him by shot gun

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:40

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Lord Binky posted:

tommy pickles

edit I'd kill him by shot gun

I'd just kick him. Over and over and over again.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 04:44

Lets Pickle: Jul 9, 2007

Jeff Sichoe posted:

the big tittied jew chick from that show two poor bitches by asking her to marry me and spending the rest of my natural life playing with those tig ole bitties then turning off her life support while in the company of our family and friends

same, but the smaller one.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 05:04

504: Feb 2, 2016; by R. Guyovich

Who's that skinny white guy that whines and keeps getting filmed drinking and doing drugs? I can see him in my head but cant recall the name or show he's in.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:07

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Cliff walks home from the bar when a wrecking ball crashes through a nearby shack and destroys him

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:16

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

The cast of Designing Women see an upside down crucifix and are later bitten to death by snakes

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:17

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

i would put the whole simpsons family in the dip (from roger rabbit.) to put the show's producers, cast, and viewers out of their misery once and for all.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:27

AbbadonOfHell: Jul 16, 2004; You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.

Joey Gladstone, gently caress that guy and the puppet he rode in on. I'd probably use Kimmy Gibbler to drive him to madness first though.

And how to do the killing blow? Drop the fuckin' Full House on him like he's the goddamn Wicked Witch of the West.

AbbadonOfHell fucked around with this message at 06:37 on Feb 18, 2016

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:34

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

i would much rather think about killing people than fictional characters, thank you. fortunately for the op, he obviously doesnt qualify as a person.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:35

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

I would murder Charlie Harper with aids.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 06:37

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Peggy Hill. Then I'd leave a note for Hank.

quote:

Mr. Hill,

Where is your god Propane, now? Renounce the false fuel of propane and declare charcoal as your savior and all will be forgiven.

We ask you to consider the following before you act rashly: Would it be worse for you to grow old without Bobby, or for Bobby to grow up without either of his parents? If you attempt to act against us, we are just as comfortable with either outcome.

We will give you 48 hours to show your sincerity, but we will allow you to choose the means. Surprise us.

Signed,
The International Charcoalsortium

# ? Feb 18, 2016 07:39

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

JediTalentAgent posted:

Peggy Hill. Then I'd leave a note for Hank.

You monster.

The entire cast from Big Bang Theory except for the bazinga guy, because he needs to live in the new world of pain he has made for himself.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 20:50

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

first, it would be JD from scrubs. then it would be Ted from HIMYM.

also, having rewatched ten or so friends episode recently, as an adult, the only good characters are phoebe and joey. they are the only characters not insufferably and fatally moronic and self involved. somehow, in tyool2016, joey seems to me by far the most well adjusted and mature of the bunch.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 21:36