Which Sitcom Character would you Murder, and how?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Which Sitcom Character would you Murder, and how?

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

Ok guys here is a fun little thread to help you through the day

If you could murder one sitcom character, who would it be, and how would you do it?

Personally, i'd bash Joeys fuckin head in with a baseball bat

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:28

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 13:17

the culminator: Oct 29, 2012

Bash ted mosbys head in with a baseball bat

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:34

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

All the friends. Poison.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:35

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

oh no what happened to my lover

bitch I bashed his head in with my louisville slugger

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:37

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

ross from friends by suxking his dick so hard that he dies

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:38

The Duchess Smackarse: May 8, 2012; by Lowtax

Drew Carey, by crushing him with the wheel from the price is right.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:40

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

peg bundy

wait poo poo do you mean actually murder?

peg bundy

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:40

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

the culminator posted:

Bash ted mosbys head in with a baseball bat

I really didn't like that character for falling in love with every girl he talked to (and pining away like a chump for that other girl), so I would say Ted Mosby gets AIDS after falling in love with a girl who turns out to be a cokehead hooker but he doesn't know it years later when he gets tested and realizes he's infected Robin and Barney and The Mother and everyone else.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:42

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

uncle phil by tenderly loving his rear end until he dies

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:46

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

the bazinga guy by choking him on chinatowns cock

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:49

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

the dad from step by step by sitting on his face and having him lick my b-hole until he suffocates

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:49

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

The entire cast of malcolm in the middle starting with the mum ending with the youngest. how? Idk a house fire and a gun or something

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:51

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

the big tittied jew chick from that show two poor bitches by asking her to marry me and spending the rest of my natural life playing with those tig ole bitties then turning off her life support while in the company of our family and friends

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:51

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

The cast of Pam andersons vip by sexing all of them at the same time and them committing suicide in shame

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Jeff Sichoe posted:

Ok guys here is a fun little thread to help you through the day

If you could murder one sitcom character, who would it be, and how would you do it?

Personally, i'd bash Joeys fuckin head in with a baseball bat

well his career is dead so i guess you kind of didi t

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

ChrisHansen: Oct 28, 2014; Suck my damn balls.; Lipstick Apathy

Roseanne, or maybe that lady with the big hair and nasally voice. Or maybe the fat lady from the drew Carey show. Also both Mike and Molly.

Wow. Maybe just kill all of them?

E: loving the new av Mr mumpey

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

An off-screen baby, because I wouldn't want to put any real actors out of work

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

mr cooper from hanging with mr cooper by letting him pump semen into my rear end until he dies

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

I don't want to murder anyone.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:52

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

niles from fraiser by jerking him off while he's driving and making him crash his car

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:55

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

holy poo poo i forgot about that chick from the drew carey show

garbage sack on head then dumped in drain

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:56

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

niles from fraiser by jerking him off while he's driving and making him crash his car

this is a real dream that I have had

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:56

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

Shaquin posted:

this is a real dream that I have had

ya it's called "the american dream"

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:58

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Mange Mite posted:

well his career is dead so i guess you kind of didi t

he's going to be on Top Gear

# ? Feb 18, 2016 00:59

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

the characters from dinosaurs just sort of kidnap em and set up elaborate ritualistic killings tailored to each of the seven deadly sins

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:02

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Raymond

who the gently caress needs a sports writer just watch the drat sport if you're interested

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:02

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

the kid with the growth defect from The Middle

I'd pretend to be a doctor and give him and his stupid mother Frances "Frankie" Heck false hope.

Every time we meet i'd say 'you're doing so well, you'll be a normal boy in no time'

His death from an entirely preventable illness will come as a shock

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:09

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

I'd smash Jerry Seinfeld's face into a toilet while telling him to stop Kramering himself.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:14

John Denver Hoxha: May 31, 2014; What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts

I'd get Bill McNeal by getting his addict wife back on coke.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:16

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

The Dad from 'Fresh off the Boat' in a brutal gang-land style execution staged as a race-hate crime

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:20

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Jeff Sichoe posted:

The Dad from 'Fresh off the Boat' in a brutal gang-land style execution staged as a race-hate crime

He's just trying to provide for his family

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:21

John Denver Hoxha: May 31, 2014; What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts

Wanna beat colonel hogan with a lamp then disappear

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:22

GORILLA BASTARD: Jun 20, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

2 Broke Girls

We'll rape by Night
We'll rape by Day
Moonlighting Strangers
Who just raped 'long the way

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:22

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

GORILLA BASTARD posted:

2 Broke Girls

We'll rape by Night
We'll rape by Day
Moonlighting Strangers
Who just raped 'long the way

which one first?

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:23

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Jeff Sichoe posted:

Ok guys here is a fun little thread to help you through the day

If you could murder one sitcom character, who would it be, and how would you do it?

Personally, i'd bash Joeys fuckin head in with a baseball bat

I read the thread title and immediately thought of Joey or even better would be a shot like in Deadpool where the entire cast of Friends are standing in a line and one bullet takes them all out.

If not Joey, then Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. What a whiny, party pooper.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:24

Huge Lady Pleaser: Jun 17, 2005; hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up; Nap Ghost

I know its not a sitcome but I'd kill Tuvix from Star Trek Voyager so that I could kill both Tuvok and Neelix. Oh wait they did that already. LOL.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:29

spank my snatch: Jun 4, 2009

I'd like to beat that two and a half men kid to death with a hammer

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:36

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

im gaye posted:

the characters from dinosaurs just sort of kidnap em and set up elaborate ritualistic killings tailored to each of the seven deadly sins

lol now i remember

they all died in the finale

# ? Feb 18, 2016 01:38

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Someone setting off a vestbomb outside the Today Show window would count as comedy, right?

# ? Feb 18, 2016 02:42

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 13:17

Blazing Ownager: Jun 2, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

I read the thread title and immediately thought of Joey or even better would be a shot like in Deadpool where the entire cast of Friends are standing in a line and one bullet takes them all out.

I am pleased with how many people chose "Cast of Friends." I don't know why but there's only like one of them I've ever been able to stand in anything else and I never could make myself watch Friends despite a few attempts.

# ? Feb 18, 2016 02:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Which Sitcom Character would you Murder, and how?

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