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i am laying here with one elbow on my memory foam pillow, safely ensconced in high thread count cotton sheets on which in turn is placed a blanket made of human hair (finest asian variety, no racism here just appreciate the sheen). skulls are placed at each of the five corners (my bed is in the shape of a pentagram which I think means "5 grams" in Latin) to hold it down against the force of the bitter cold winds that relentlessly pelt the battlements of my sleep tower. a flock of crows circles overhead, forming a constant whirl of living black tornado. my question is, should i upgrade to one of those casper mattresses i keep hearing about on npr?
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Feb 18, 2016 11:36
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| # ? May 12, 2024 22:26 |
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maybe it would be more comfortable if you didnt have to share with your wife's burly lover lmao
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Feb 18, 2016 11:40
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RideTheSpiral posted:maybe it would be more comfortable if you didnt have to share with your wife's burly lover lmao the additional body heat really does wonders for your heating bill, I've turned the thermostat down, like, 3 degrees
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Feb 18, 2016 11:43
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Perhaps the burly lover is his and it his wife that is scorned
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Feb 18, 2016 11:43
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Shaquin posted:Perhaps the burly lover is his and it his wife that is scorned nobody is scorned, we gently caress in a triangle within the pentagram whose mystical forces combine to allow us to open a portal to the gently caress dimension
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Feb 18, 2016 11:45
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I prefer to ball leathery milfs in the back of a haunted pontiac
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Feb 18, 2016 11:48
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don't limit yourself to memory foam pillows, get a mem foam mattress too. your sacroiliacs will thank you, plus no chance of a spring poppoing out while yer banging fat broads
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Feb 18, 2016 11:49
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Pudding Huxtable posted:don't limit yourself to memory foam pillows, get a mem foam mattress too. my sacroiliacs are the servant girls that stoke the flames that power my ghost factory (that's where i make ghosts; the factory itself is mostly corporeal), right? i dunno; all muggles kinda look the same to me
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Feb 18, 2016 11:54
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actually they're your butt joints
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Feb 18, 2016 11:56
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Are you doing tours of the ghost factory open to the public?
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Feb 18, 2016 11:57
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Harrower posted:Are you doing tours of the ghost factory open to the public? last year a little boy fell into the ghost vats and i'm afraid he just did not fit in with that crowd
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Feb 18, 2016 11:58
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The Pontiac can open a portal but it just leads to an abandoned Ames parking lot in rural Vermont where a mysterious man in a managers vest beckons you to enter the ever closing ever opening sliding doors that lead to the pitch black interior.
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Feb 18, 2016 11:59
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Feb 18, 2016 12:01
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Shaquin posted:The Pontiac can open a portal but it just leads to an abandoned Ames parking lot in rural Vermont where a mysterious man in a managers vest beckons you to enter the ever closing ever opening sliding doors that lead to the pitch black interior. a black hole sucking in bargains and crushing them into a dense ball of low low prices and placing it into the crystal goblet with a slurry of entrails and goatsblood to summon the Dollar General from his grave in the cambodian killing fields edit: hail savings!!
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Feb 18, 2016 12:06
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There's always a half empty pack of Chesterfields and a handle of Wild Turkey in the glovebox no matter how many times you remove the pack or the liquor which as a smoker and frequent alcoholic is great and a real blast from the past given they don't even make the smokes anymore. drat shame about the resulting night terrors and strange underarm growths that sing of the end to come in the voices of the dead to be.
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Feb 18, 2016 12:06
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I need a new mattress going on like 3 years
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Feb 18, 2016 12:07
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Shaquin posted:There's always a half empty pack of Chesterfields and a handle of Wild Turkey in the glovebox no matter how many times you remove the pack or the liquor which as a smoker and frequent alcoholic is great and a real blast from the past given they don't even make the smokes anymore. drat shame about the resulting night terrors and strange underarm growths that sing of the end to come in the voices of the dead to be. my tumor told me that before the great blood worm devours the earth i should weight my portofolio heavily towards healthcare and demonic possession
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Feb 18, 2016 12:09
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thathonkey posted:I need a new mattress going on like 3 years tell me about it bro this thing is filled with thousands of scarabs and it drips blood, like, constantly
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Feb 18, 2016 12:11
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probably i dunno but it dips down in spots so it is really uncomfortable and probably doing damage to my spine and whatnot thatl end up costing way more to address than a new mattress
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Feb 18, 2016 12:13
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thathonkey posted:probably i dunno but it dips down in spots so it is really uncomfortable and probably doing damage to my spine and whatnot thatl end up costing way more to address than a new mattress yeah sounds p bad for your back but get that thing to the top of a mountain and strap it to your feet and dude, let's shred
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Feb 18, 2016 12:16
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ok
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Feb 18, 2016 12:16
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The Pontiac has never told me much, at least in no voice I can discern. But tune to the right AM band on the right stretch of inky highway and you can hear the fevered ramblings of a man in what I'd guess was Portuguese. He seems fairly distressed and it's always the same bit, but all I can make out is a name or two from the Bible, and they aren't the good sort of names I'll tell ya that.
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Feb 18, 2016 12:22
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i need more booozze
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Feb 18, 2016 12:35
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sometimes black magic is just a pontiac with a bottle o jack and a mattress in the back try reading that aloud in a cool rap 'flow' (you might have to be a rapper for this to work idk)
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Feb 18, 2016 12:35
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ok coelge boy,heh,.. riddleu xme this. hm?
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Feb 18, 2016 12:36
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MiracleWhale posted:sometimes black magic is just a pontiac with a bottle o jack and a mattress in the back I already do that with every post i read on gbs give me some new bold and/or exciting ideas to work with. Ill also acccept innovative "thoughts outside the box"
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Feb 18, 2016 12:49
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i have a bed but i have trouble sleeping on it so a lot of times i sleep on a couch bc im used to sleeping upright from the hospital. now a dog will crawl on top of me and snore into my eyeball at 3am. i love him so much
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Feb 18, 2016 12:51
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MiracleWhale posted:last year a little boy fell into the ghost vats and i'm afraid he just did not fit in with that crowd I have to confess my plan was to jump into the ghost vats to try to steal the secret to your ghost brew and/or become a ghost.
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Feb 18, 2016 13:08
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i have 5 blankets piled on top of me in bed to keep the ghosts away. one of them is fur and i can't breathe but its better than ghost pontiasc and gross turkey
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Feb 18, 2016 13:49
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All the expensive sheets and blankets in the world won't fill the void of an empty bed.
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Feb 18, 2016 15:32
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Pudding Huxtable posted:don't limit yourself to memory foam pillows, get a mem foam mattress too. My gf got insurance to pay for a nice foam mattress after her old place was flooded by the souls of the damned. It's super nice. I've been on better mattresses, yeah, but those were at rich peoples' guest rooms. And I don't think they'd hold up to the constant rituals without losing their comfort for sleeping. Also, way easier to get a rectangular foam King and carve out into the 'gram of your choice than to custom-order a traditional mattress.
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Feb 18, 2016 15:39
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miraclewhale you should try sleeping in a sensory deprivation tank like Daredevil in that bad Daredevil movie wit ben affleck 
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Feb 18, 2016 16:29
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my rroom was below freezing temp last night because my heater broke i kept dreaming i was outside taking a piss wtf i think i pissed a little or sweat maybe my boxers were soaked when i woke up
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Feb 18, 2016 16:45
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ghostter posted:my rroom was below freezing temp last night because my heater broke i kept dreaming i was outside taking a piss wtf i think i pissed a little or sweat maybe my boxers were soaked when i woke up i snuck in and peed in your bed  you should get that loving heater fixed btw, i was shivering the whole time, it sucked
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Feb 18, 2016 17:28
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tuft and needle is a good mattress fwiw
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Feb 18, 2016 17:57
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Enfield posted:i have a bed but i have trouble sleeping on it so a lot of times i sleep on a couch bc im used to sleeping upright from the hospital. now a dog will crawl on top of me and snore into my eyeball at 3am. i love him so much is it possible that that dog is the devil mounting you to imbue you with his evil powers? have you noticed any witches' marks where he licks you, or the sudden ability to turn water into urine just by glancing at it? (if so its best that you stay away from the ocean thanks the risk is just too high)
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Feb 18, 2016 18:51
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I think it's because you're a whale. You should try sleeping on a bed of kelp.
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Feb 18, 2016 18:52
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Harrower posted:I have to confess my plan was to jump into the ghost vats to try to steal the secret to your ghost brew and/or become a ghost. the latter is more likely, friend, because i employ top notch security and this is a stand your ground state
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Feb 18, 2016 18:53
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Mad Monk posted:I think it's because you're a whale. You should try sleeping on a bed of kelp. that's an offensive stereotype about whales, how do you sleep, levitating in the angry lotus position?!?!
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Feb 18, 2016 18:54
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| # ? May 12, 2024 22:26 |
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Casper mattresses don't come in "pentagram". It's single, twin, queen, king, supreme overlord and ominous star of David shapes only.
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Feb 18, 2016 18:55
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