Tell me about common cons/scams: "Thanks, you suck. Hello, this is Linda."

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Tell me about common cons/scams: "Thanks, you suck. Hello, this is Linda."

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goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

ToxicSlurpee posted:

There have been scammers as long as people to be scammed have existed. A major difference is that a gently caress load of economic deregulation has happened in the past 60 years as well as sabotaging of every regulatory agency's ability to do anything at all. There are places that make money doing things that were literally illegal 20 years ago.

Seems like it would have been worse if anything. Back then there were also actual legit door to door salesmen; maybe you didn't need what they were selling and they'd try to push it, but it wasn't an outright scam. (Encyclopedias come to mind, but I'm sure there was other stuff too.) Today, I can pretty much assume anyone who comes to my door trying to sell me something is trying to scam me, back in the 50s someone coming to your door unannounced wasn't an immediate tipoff.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 06:28

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:54

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

BiggerBoat posted:

Who could forget the biggest scam of all?
Comcast.

Find out who the DSL/FIOS company in your area is, name is enough. Once your first year deal expires (you signed up under a promo right?), call Comcast and tell them the bill is too high and you're cancelling for [DSL/FIOS company] and watch as you get another one year promo. Rinse and repeat.

E: Also support things like Google Fiber and municipal broadband. Google Fiber got some permits to use right of way in Portland then within a month the speed tiers doubled across the board.

goatsestretchgoals fucked around with this message at 08:02 on Mar 4, 2016

# ¿ Mar 4, 2016 07:58

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

I would give you five and/or a smoke for that

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 06:47

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Inspector 34 posted:

How do these MLM schemes actually work? Is there much variation between whatever major groups there are? I think my mom and stepdad got conned into joining one of these things for some weird kind of aerosol skin cream. I remember they got boxes and boxes of the stuff and they seemed to think it worked amazingly well, but they never seemed to be able to move any of it. My dad was at least polite enough not to tell me they were being scammed, but having dealt with a couple pushy MLM types in my adult years, now I wonder if them pushing the stuff on him and my stepmom contributed to the huge falling out they had right around that same time.

I got into a conversation at a bar with a couple who were into Amway and they were just so enamored with the douche who recruited them and how they never have to work for a boss again and yadda yadda yadda. What was really confusing to me was they didn't actually try to sell me any products, they just went straight into selling themselves and how if I signed up under them we would all be rich within a year. Aren't they supposed to be shilling crappy consumer goods or something before they move into screwing over other idiots?

It's almost the shell game from above. All the marks scurry around selling lovely off brand poo poo to friends, family, and gullible people on the street. Real money is selling conference tickets.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 07:51

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I only did this once because I didn't have any money and wasn't about to go to the ATM with this dude in the middle of the night, he was asking me for gas money so i offered to buy him like 10 dollars in gas on my card. He accepted it and seemed genuinely grateful. I guess I caught the only one that wasn't a scam with that. Usually when people come up to me I just give them spare change in my pocket.

If they're already parked at the gas pump they probably do just want gas.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 06:56

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

grack posted:

Walking out of a dollar store today, some guy pulls up in a minivan and asks me if I want to buy a flat screen TV.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5HOt0ZOcYk

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 20:26

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Lutha Mahtin posted:

i don't know if it counts as an essential oil, but i recently bought a bottle of doctor bronner's liquid soap, the peppermint variety. i've used other varieties of soap from that brand and always thought "yep, it's soap" so i went with the one i thought smelled best. after using it for a few days, well...all i will say is that you don't want to leave it on sensitive areas of your skin for very long

dont jerk off with peppermint anything, hth

e: word filter nailed it tbh

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 15:31

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

The biggest con was defunding mental health in the 80s and shifting the mentally ill into what would eventually become private prisons.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 08:29

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

JoelJoel posted:

Not much of a scam but if you're friendly and have a bit of charm you can get all kinds of stuff for free from minimum wage employees by just asking. Works best with companies that aren't huge corporations. Night shift, especially when they're alone or few, also boosts your chances.

When target was closing I was looking at a TV and asked the guy if I could just have it and he said he didn't care one bit and basically encouraged me to just walk out with it. In the end the security guard were the only ones with guaranteed jobs in the near future so I passed.

Also, if you can quick talk and get someone into a heated discussion they will frequently forget to scan items. Best I got was a couple free games on two occasions by arguing with the clerk at blockbuster that he'd be out of a job within six months. He vehemently argued that they would be fine. This was six months before all the blockbusters closed forever.

STDH, big difference between a fre coffee and a TV. Also one of my best friends worked at Blockbuster during the spiral, they gave all sorts of poo poo out but not to someone who "[argued] with the clerk at blockbuster that he'd be out of a job within six months".

More believable if you said you smoked out the bored guy at XYZ failing company and he hooked you up.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 07:20

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

JoelJoel posted:

Also, if you can quick talk and get someone into a heated discussion they will frequently forget to scan items. Best I got was a couple free games on two occasions by arguing with the clerk at blockbuster that he'd be out of a job within six months. He vehemently argued that they would be fine. This was six months before all the blockbusters closed forever.

and everyone clapped

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 07:33

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

many johnnys posted:

Isn't it good if people help keep you from getting scammed or harassed/assaulted by a scammer?

I think he's referring to the fact that Europe treats gypsies like poo poo. At this point, gypsies running scams is sort of a chicken and egg thing; no one will hire them because they have a rep for being scammers, so they scam to get by, etc etc.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2016 03:48

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

GreyjoyBastard posted:

Now I'm wondering what the production chain on this is like. Shady Russian and Chinese factories turning them out by the thousand? Perfectly legitimate (minus the intellectual property thing) Russian and Chinese factories turning them out by the thousand?

Yeah, if Gucci outsources manufacturing to Asia they probably ARE authentic Guccis in all but inventory listing.

# ¿ May 1, 2016 02:34

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

You're already selling stolen IP, loving up burning it to DVD is just mean spirited.

# ¿ May 17, 2016 01:38

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Lutha Mahtin posted:

yeah you can do that in america too. good luck convincing someone obsessed with THE GOVERNMENT to do it though

I forgot my pin one year and also didn't have my previous tax return for AGL and called the IRS. Talked to an extremely nice older lady who basically fell all over herself to help me out. That's my evil taxman story.

# ¿ May 28, 2016 04:18

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Lutha Mahtin posted:

confused lower-income people

Ayn Rand herself. And it's legal

checks out

# ¿ May 29, 2016 18:19

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Bank ATMs will eat the card sometimes but not the crappy little freestanding ones you usually see in (USA) bars.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2016 23:06

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Lutha Mahtin posted:

or they're crammed in a small room 20 other scammers and they all have to sit shoulder-to-shoulder along tiny tables

# ¿ Jun 25, 2016 16:08

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

BiggerBoat posted:

What's the deal with those dudes who go around steaks door to door? Omaha I think they're called? Is it pretty common for people to buy meat like they do girl scout cookies? Are they any good? What's their angle?

The steaks are good, they're just a bit overpriced for what you get. Not a scam, assuming the guy claiming to sell Omaha Steaks is actually selling Omaha Steaks.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2016 17:03

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Pook Good Mook posted:

The worst part is you can find he testimonial online and she loving blames herself. She says she must have not been using it correctly.

The burning sensation means it's working!

E: Dammit AlbieQuirky

E2: Regarding advertising in general, that poo poo is literally a science with lots of really smart people who spend hours studying reactions and applying those findings to their newest ad which they then focus group and analyze for hours, the results of which go into their next ad, etc. Also the funding is effectively limitless at companies with the resources because good marketing is a money printing machine. (Good) marketers are scary as hell because they really can reach inside your brain and pluck the strings of your subconscious even while your conscious is saying 'this ad is dumb.'

goatsestretchgoals fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Jul 3, 2016

# ¿ Jul 3, 2016 05:08

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

kaschei posted:

Actually advertisers have no idea what will or won't work and rely on focus groups for exactly that reason.

You don't need a focus group to tell you how a chemical reaction will play out because we understand chemical reactions pretty well.

True but there's enough past experience with what does and doesn't work to make it as much of a science as psychology, because advertising is just applied psychology.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2016 05:30

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Thalantos posted:

Aww, drat, I think I was on the train with you when that happened!

I saw it happen to someone else on MARTA, anyways.

yeah but did you catch the pokemon?

# ¿ Jul 13, 2016 07:13

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

OSHA thread crossover.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 03:49

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

ToxicSlurpee posted:

I just pour it all over the ground and eat it like an animal.

I am a piece of poo poo.

I'm an Oregonian but one time I tried to journey to an uncivilized state that makes you pump your own gas, and spilled gas everywhere when I tried to 'top it off'. Also I didn't leave a tip because it was the middle of the night and the gas attendant was a slot I put my credit card into

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 00:14

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Lutha Mahtin posted:

i had a call come in today from an unknown number, and based on the voicemail i think it was a legitimate wrong number! it felt really weird, because i realized i now expect pretty much every unknown caller to be a scam

Some dumbass in NC keeps giving my number to people so it's refreshing to talk to a real person and calmly explain that I don't have a child at your school, and it does in fact suck that they forgot their lunch today.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 02:46

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

drunk asian neighbor posted:

Thankfully, it was on the shuttle from JFK back to NYC I literally did a double-take when I realized how old it was

The whole tax-free thing seems to be somewhat spotty, unless I've just gotten lucky. I've bought booze at a Duty Free store twice while waiting for domestic flights (just a bottle each time) and nobody ever asked me for my international boarding pass. Also, I brought like 6 cartons of cigarettes back from China with no issue, didn't have to declare them or anything.

Vancouver BC used to have the drinking age as 19 (still is, but apparently they won't serve USA citizens under 21 anymore), so we came back from Canada with a shitload of booze in the trunk. I declared it to the US border guard on re-entry, he gave zero fucks.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 19:43

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

PT6A posted:

That's not a law, that's a clever venue-by-venue policy because young Americans can't hold their liquor and always act like loving fools as soon as they can drink legally in a bar.

Spring Break in Montreal was always really, really dreadful...

Can confirm that I was a loving nightmare when I was up there drinking at 19.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2016 22:28

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

MightyJoe36 posted:

Great bit about Soverign Citizens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W_iok4UBLk

If this isn't P Barnes you have done us all a disservice.

E This is acceptable.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 21:44

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebt0l8s3aMQ&t=168s

i feel that without making joinder upon my bro p barnes, i have failed to lighthouse this thread upon the sea

# ¿ Sep 15, 2016 06:07

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Cyrano4747 posted:

Think of it this way:

You get a list of ten million email addresses. Let's say only a tenth of those are good addresses that make it through spam filters.

You set up a bot to email them all some variation on "click here for a virus." Of the one million good addresses only one in ten thousand gets infected. That's 100 computers. Let's say that it's a locker and only one in ten of those people opt to pay you $100 to get their computer back.

Congrats you just made $1k with a single spam shotgun off a one in a million success rate.

It's all a numbers game. Put enough hooks in the water and you'll get a bite and email makes it really ficking cheap on a per attempt basis.

remove

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 11:34

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Sanford posted:

One of our highly qualified and experienced technical support team, last week. He opened an attachment called details.odt.zip and totally shagged his system to the point that it was just quicker to re-image the disks. At least now I have an answer when they ask why our dev environment is totally separate and locked down.

im the executable code that jumped out of the odt dot zip

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 11:38

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Ytlaya posted:

Wouldn't this be a really inefficient way of scamming people, since each "attempt" costs you the money necessary to buy the USB stick.

I guess it has the benefit over e-mail that if someone does pick it up they're likely to use it, so putting it on a sidewalk or something is effectively the same as e-mailing it to everyone who walks by, though there's also the chance that someone might kick it into the street/grass or something and ruin any chances of it succeeding.

This is (probably) how Stuxnet became a thing. $20 in lovely USB drives is a pretty low buy in if someone uses one to jump the air gap at a reasonably important target.

Efb but this is why superglue in the USB port is a thing.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2016 05:20

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I've had this idea for years: a service that helps you stage photographs of you doing wonderful things that you could use for the purpose of getting a job or for your social media profiles or whatever. Our guarantee: no Photoshop, only honestly fake pictures. There would be a sliding scale of costs: you helping an old lady across a street would obviously be a cheaper picture than you teaching a class of third-world children how to read.

How much for a 'selfie' of me wiring 10k to the Nigerian Secretary of Educating White People from Overseas.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 10:06

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

bongwizzard posted:

I used to work for this super shady touring bridal tradeshow and after the first year we all demanded absurd raises. The owner gave in but slashed our crew budget so the production manager had to post CL adds to find a crew every weekend.

We ended up getting a Hells Angels dude one time and from then on we would just hire his entire chapter to do the show in that city.

Costs are down 20% from last year but stabbings are up 100%. Don't rehire the Stones.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2017 13:38

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

ToxicSlurpee posted:

American Christianity itself also has scammers baked right into it. The prosperity gospel is a gigantic scam from top to bottom but that doesn't stop people from sending $80 to Reverand Money McRichpants when he literally says on TV "God wants me to have a private jet. He will reward you for helping me achieve that! Tithe generously. Plant a seed and it will grow!"

The "seed" being a series of donations that will totally pay off some day, promise!

And they wonder why Christianity is on the decline in America.

Anyone who donates to a man named Creflo Dollar deserves everything they get for their donation. (Letters asking them to donate more.)

# ¿ Jan 31, 2017 09:13

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Timby posted:

Yahoo actually experienced some pain with this back in the summer of 2013, when it announced that on July 15, any email account that had not had a login in the past 12 months would be deactivated, and the usernames recycled for anyone to use. They sent the notification to the actual @yahoo.com addresses as well as recovery addresses on file, but most people dismissed it as a hoax. Then Yahoo spent a few months dealing with cranky old people yelling, "WHERE'S MY EMAIL?! WHY CAN'T I PLAY CANASTA?!"

I can't tell if this is fake because logging in to play canasta is a login or if its real because Yahoo is stupid enough to only check logins on their mail server.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2017 03:43

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Midjack posted:

That or you email back, they mark your address as valid on their checklist, and secondary spamming, scamming, and phishing occurs. All of which may be automated and may have been triggered if any embedded graphics, including a transparent 1x1 pixel, were loaded.

The embedded image is the best/worst spammer ploy ever. Even better than 'Reply stop to be removed from this mailing list.'

# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 03:56

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Pilsner posted:

I remember walking down a busy street and one guy openly, with dozens of locals within earshot, yelled "Hello Sir! You need suit, you need shirt, you need marijuana, something....?"

HK tailors are way better than in the States.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 16:47